tribunal of mixed Asian heritage will
now decide the fate of Mike Trapp yes
yes that's correct my great-grandfather
was okay yeah I see it you are accused
of claiming to know the best Korean
barbecue joints without explanation and
insisting you're an authority on North
Korean politics how do you plead guilty
I guess you're only an eighth year what
is that even
certainly your father would be Asian but
your children 1/16 that's nothing that's
like half a slice of pizza that's not
even a snack that's 1/8 the law of Asian
heritage clearly says what you can and
can't do in casual conversation you may
claim to be Asian around those less
Asian than you but around those more
Asian than you you must wait for them to
ask you about it okay on formal
documents if there's the option to
choose more than one ethnicity you must
tick agen if you can only select one you
may check Asian but we will silently
judge you however if it is a document
requesting diversity related
scholarships
you should not check engine' but we know
that you will I'm sorry this is very
music it's perfectly simple can I check
me I do not wish to say boss
yes but you'll imagine your grandmother
looking very disappointed
okay that's there where's the handle
stand on access and my agent of
do a broken English accent as a joke or
for a comedy sketch or something know
how good is it oh no no you you are not
Asian enough to do the accent but you
are Asian enough to be offended by it
just don't like make a big deal out of
it or anything you'll embarrass yourself
you are Asian enough to enjoy Korean
restaurants Oh anyone can do that
don't interrupt me sorry but you may act
superior to others in a Korean
restaurant because your grandmother made
better food okay thank you you are
expected to get really excited when you
see Randall Park and stuff oh you are
Asian enough to really enjoy anime
although be honest with your build may
make you look more white you are Asian
enough to make your own kimchi without
seeming like a twee douchebag but beware
you are also Asian enough to reinforce
stereotypes if you're really good at
Starcraft Oh any questions I used to
speak Korean phrases I know with Korean
weights that is so oh no guys to be
honest I don't even think I should be up
here oh okay totally deferring to you
guys though now we must adjourn so the
black council can make their decisions
you're black hi I'm Zack from
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