Beard edits are a thing that I've seen
on the internet over the last few years.
And whenever I see one of me,
half of me is like, "Yeah, work that beard, Dad."
And the other half of me is like,
"No, throw it into a volcano!"
There is no in-between.
I just did an Instagram poll.
57% of you said I should get beard, and 43% said, no.
I feel like the people that said yes
are not thinking about my best interests,
and they're just curious about what it would look like,
because it's not your face, but, encouraging nonetheless.
So I thought the only way I could find out
if I truly suit a beard
is to actually try some out in real life.
So I bought a whole variety of fake beards.
I'm gonna stick 'em on my face
and find out once and for all.
We're gonna do a beard rating out of five
and decide what is the best beard for me.
So before I destroy my face,
let's have a look at some of the beard edits
you guys have sent in.
Oh my God, that looks like a completely different person.
That is so weird.
Who are you?
Why are you cooler than me?
This is one I don't like as much.
I'm slightly scared.
No, (gasping) that one is terrifying.
Okay, I need to make a note,
"Do not smile with a beard."
That one is an absolute no.
(cymbals crashing)
Oh my God! (laughing)
That is the most cursed thing I've ever seen!
Enough!
So I had a very intense day of fake beard shopping,
and I thought we could kick things off
with some fake mustaches.
(upbeat music)
Simple, clean, maybe I just need a mustache,
and I don't need the whole hairy neck scenario.
I like that they're emergency, like, what is the emergency?
Why do you need them?
Firstly, the ultimate classic.
Ew! (camera flashing)
(upbeat music)
It looks like I've got more niche interests,
and I'm like 10% gayer.
(laughing) Like I only talk about 1960s bicycles.
It's not bad.
We're giving it a three.
(ringing)
Oh, that looks bad.
(laughing)
Does this mean I have to dye my beard black
for it to look good?
I never considered this.
I'm gonna give it two stars.
I want it off my face.
Ow, (suspenseful music)
This one is also giving me a gay vibe, slash police,
gay police, (sirens blaring) I'm the gay police.
I would definitely have a cooler name with this mustache
like Ricardo or Blake, but yeah,
generally I'm kind of digging it,
especially with this denim jacket.
It's given me a whole, like,
"I'm gonna stay at the club till 5:00 AM in my tank top.
"And you're not going to do anything about it."
Ow, three stars.
I kind of got used to it on my face,
and now I look weird without it on my face.
Are you getting that?
No, okay, onto the beard!
(upbeat music)
The first beard (laughing) I bought is this.
(intense music)
Why would you use such a terrifying person for the picture?
Are they real?
They look CGI.
I'm scared.
Do you want to scratch my knees?
I don't even, I don't, ew, ew,
I don't even know how that is going to attach to my face,
but let's give it a shot.
The biggest mystery
is what this person looks like beardless,
equally unfriendly, ma.
Sorry if this is like your dad.
This feels strong as well.
My final look is just gonna be my face with no skin, right.
I'm just gonna (laughing) all right,
I'm just gonna plunk it on.
(heart beating)
Oh my God, (laughing) that's not right.
Hey, (laughing) oh, it's really hurting my face!
Say this was in such a crappy packet,
it doesn't look half bad, does it?
I'm kind of liking it, guys.
Ooh, imagine having such a fluffy face.
It's like having six hamsters strapped on there.
I feel like if I had a beard, a beard, a beard,
I would do a deeper voice.
I'd be like, "Hey my name's Phillip."
Maybe I'll call myself Phillip.
Phillip here, would you like to try my craft beer?
(laughing)
Phillip here, and my new merch is axes!
(Psycho music)
Right, squint your eyes because at a distance,
this looks pretty good.
I'm gonna give this one four.
Right, I'm going to peel it off now.
Oh, it's stuck to my hair.
(groaning)
Oh my God, I look about 14 now.
(laughing)
Bring back the beard.
Okay, equally weird packaging.
We've got an attracted man's face.
Then they just plonked the beard on top.
I'm feeling like this is gonna be more graying,
sophisticated, I've seen things vibe.
Eh, let's do it.
Free him.
Oh, hello, less scary.
Maybe these two could be friends.
Now kiss.
I mustache you a question.
(cymbals clashing)
How does it look?
Wonky, oh no, not a wonky mustache.
That looks like some kind of small animal on my face,
like a bat has just gone, "Caw!" and stuck under my nose.
Okay, here we go.
Um, okay, that is a look.
I'm like Rick with a beard from the "Walking Dead," Carl.
(soft upbeat music)
I feel like I would twiddle this a lot
while solving mysteries, like a college professor,
but a bit badass, like I've got a dark secret.
What's in his basement. (suspenseful music)
Okay, that's a bit more creepy. (laughing)
This age in life, I don't think I'm ready
for the gray beard yet,
but I'm not gonna say no to it.
I'm going to give it a three.
(whining)
On its own, that is a one.
All right, get off, ay, yi, yi.
The next one is described as a ginger hipster beard.
A lot people think if I grew a beard
it would actually be ginger,
but I think it would be more dark brown.
This is probably the longest my facial hair has ever gotten
which looked all right.
There might've been a few ginger strands,
but it wasn't fully orange.
Anyway, I'm intrigued how this will look
because maybe I'll dye it if I do get one.
Ooh, this is the longest one yet.
This is exciting me.
How do I do this?
Do I just put it on the back of my head.
Oh, it's going in my mouth.
People with beards,
how do you stop it going directly into your mouth?
Oh, oh I think I'm doing it.
(laughing) This one does not look good.
I thought this would be one of the good ones.
It's got like the fold from where it was in the packet.
I do like how wild it is though.
I'm like an untamed lion, ready to sow my oats.
(laughing)
I think this one would suit me with glasses more.
Wait, yes, now I can see it.
Can you see it?
Do you love it?
I, I'm on the fence.
If these two hair colors matched,
I think it would look a lot better.
So overall, I'm gonna give this one a two
and oh, get it out of my mouth now.
This one I think is gonna be the best.
It is described as a Viking beard, which is my dream.
Why is there two pieces?
Oh my God.
(laughing)
How do I even attach this to my face?
Oh, there we go.
(piano music)
Oh, imagine having this much hair on your face.
I like that it's got plaits on as well.
And this is a wig to go with it.
Yes, (laughing) I don't know what's happening.
I can't see, but I'm really enjoying myself.
This feels good.
It's like having a permanent duvet on your face.
(soft music)
The name is Lesgar.
Do you want to ride on my ship?
(crickets chirping)
No? (laughing)
This is great.
I'm gonna give this a five.
I might consider growing this when I'm 50.
I love it.
The next one just says, "God,"
which (laughing) I'm thinking it's gonna be really similar
to the one I just tried on.
Ew, this one's more sleek.
It's like I've used Pantene Pro V for wizards.
Hello, my children.
I'm either God or the wisest wizard that ever wizarded.
What if God had a YouTube channel?
Hey guys, smash that like button.
Today we're gonna talk about
what the (beeping) a giraffe is.
I love it, but I'm not gonna personally keep this look.
So I'm going to give it a, three.
Oh, I forgot about this.
I got beard lights!
I've run out of long beards.
All right, I'll put this one back on.
So you literally clip them into your beard.
This has given me my biggest beard jealousy so far.
I would totally get this for Christmas, if I had a beard.
Who needs a Christmas tree,
when you can have fairy lights on your face?
So finally, I wanted to try
and get the most authentic beard possible.
And I did some Googling,
and I found a way to do that was to use hair fibers
which kind of grossed me out,
because I thought it might be real hair, but it's not.
It's fake hair that you glue to your face
to look like a beard.
So I'm gonna glue my face
and then sprinkle some hair on myself.
All right, let's get a good mustached line.
This is hard, because it's invisible.
How much am I going to regret this?
Ugh, this is automatically gross.
Okay, it's happening?
(upbeat Mariachi music)
Although it does look kind of real.
Okay, so it's a bit messy.
I shouldn't have gone up so much over there.
So, I'll try and be more careful.
Oh, that's a bit wayward, oh no.
Oh, this feels so gross.
I don't like it.
Transformation complete!
(camera flashing)
(old western music)
I have to stop looking at myself in the monitor.
(laughing)
Um, wow, you know what, I think I look pretty great.
At a slight distance, this looks pretty realistic.
Like if I went to the shop...
(coughing) Oh, I just breathed some in.
Don't breathe this.
If I just went to the shop,
people would think I was a guy with a beard.
I don't know if mine would be this dark, that's the thing.
I think it could be lighter brown
which may affect this whole look.
So overall, I do think I'm happy
with my natural no beard face,
but I could do this one day just as a little change,
maybe for a few months.
I'd never go full beard forever.
I've also got hair all over my hands.
I guess the rumors are true.
Don't do too much beard application,
or you'll get hairy hands.
I'm gonna give this a five.
(children cheering)
Thank you for joining me on this little adventure.
And if you want some self-care this winter season,
I've release a new merch range, the winter collection,
which has this jigsaw puzzle, which I'm so excited to do.
I always do a jigsaw over the festive season,
so this will be the one.
You can join me.
It's got a little Phil in the park with Steven scrubbing.
And while you're doing your jigsaw,
you can burn your Winter Glow candle,
which smells incredible.
I've also got a peppermint hot chocolate blend and a mug.
And this fizzy bath dust,
which you might've seen me testing on Instagram.
It'll turn your back bright green,
and it smells of delicious gingerbread.
If you want to grab any of this,
you can click the link below.
The Dan and Phil shops have combined for the festive season.
So we share a basket, and you can get yourself some treats.
You can check out my last video, subscribe,
check out my merch, ding the bell, do all that stuff.
Hope you're having a good day.
And I'll see you very soon.
Good beard.