Wash: Doc, what did you find out in your scan of the Meta?
Um, it's hard to say. He's added so much non-standard equipment to his armor I can't really get a good reading on him.
I didn't want you to run an intelligence report on him. I wanted a medical one.
His power systems are stressed from trying to maintain it all. Is he missing some component that controls all this, or--?
Physically. Is he fine? Physically.
Yeah, I guess.
Good. Next time, answer the question I ask.
I'm watching you two. Give me any trouble and you're dead.
Don't believe me? Ask your buddy about his friend, Donut.
Hey, he does realize that I'm the one who scanned Donut's dead body, right?
I think he was just making a point. Hey, I have an idea.
Give me your scanner thing.
My scanner? Why? It can't be used as a weapon.
Maybe it can. If I can overload the power cell, you may be able to fire an overcharged burst.
It could short out the Meta's systems. Either that, or...
Or what?
Huh, what? Nah nah nah. No "or". Just that. Forget the or.
You were gonna say explode, weren't you?
No.
Were you thinking explode?
Why don't you just give me the damn scanner.
Sarge: Oh Simmons! Simmons!
Where are you? Yoo-hoo!
Looks like just one of them. -Yoo-hoo!
I don't know if he has it, I can't see from this far. -Simmons!
No, you stay here. Guard these two. I'll go out there.
If he gives me any trouble, just kill the prisoners and come help me.
[Sigh] I hope your friend doesn't give him any trouble.
If he's one of my friends, we don't stand a chance.
Yo dudes! Sarge! Grif!
Where'd you go? Oh great.
Caboose: Um, hey, Tucker? Tucker: Yeah, what's up dude?
Um, have you seen Church?
No, I'm looking for the red guys. Looks like they fixed one the jeeps and took off.
Caboose: Oh...Well, that's not good.
Maybe Church went with 'em, maybe they took him, I don't know, dude.
Oh, I wouldn't say that...I don't think that would happen.
What? How the fuck would you know?
'Cause if he was gone I think some people who have been looking for him might be really mad
that he's not here and we might have to explain to those people,
why he's not here, and those people might not like our explanation,
and those people might hurt us with plasma guns and plasma grenades.
Oh, right.
Caboose: I mean the aliens. Tucker: Yeah, I figured that out.
Maroon One, Maroon One, where are you?
Great...this guy.
Freeze. Stay where you are. Turn around.
Well, well. If it isn't our good buddy Agent Washington. And just what are you doing here?
Don't play dumb with me, Sarge. I think you know why I'm here.
Wash: Where are the rest of your guys? Where's Epsilon? Sarge: Someplace safe.
You can either tell me or you can tell the Meta back at the base.
Sarge: The Meta is here? Wash: Yes, and he really wants a chance to repay you guys for all the trouble you caused him.
I seem to recall you caused him some of that trouble yourself.
Situation's changed. Now drop your weapons.
Just so you know, I'm gonna want that back in a minute.
I said: Drop your weapons.
Sarge: All my weapons? Wash: Yes
Ya sure? Maybe I can just keep the pistol. You know these things aren't quite as effective as they used to be.
Drop it. Now.
Sarge: Well that's what people say.
Good. Now march.
Son. You can insult me. You can ambush me. You can even take away my weapons.
But if you think I'm gonna set one single pinky toe inside of blue base--?
--without my SHOTGUN--
you must not know who you're dealin' with.
I said move.
And I said: "Shotgun."
Wash: Yes. I have your shotgun. Sarge: No!
I mean. Shotgun.
What is this? You think I'm gonna give you your shotgun because you asked?
I said: "SHOTGUN."
"Shotgun," dammit!
Grif: Oh, yeah, "shotgun." That's my cue!
Wash: What? Wait, what are you up to? What is that noise? Do I hear a...?
CAR?!
How's my bumper taste, asshole?
Uh-oh!
Oh, no.
Ahhhh!
See? Told ya I'd get it back!
Grif: How 'bout next time we use a codeword, we choose something you DON'T say every 5 seconds. Sarge: Just drive, numbnuts.
Agent Wash?
Son of a bitch.
You just got--
Aw dammit, I messed up my one-liner!
Okay, now's our chance Doc. Hit him with an overcharge. It should overload at least one of his systems.
Doc: Um...you do it. Simmons: What? Me? I don't even know how to fire that thing!
Doc: Just pull the trigger and let go, it's super easy! Simmons: No no no, you're trained with it, you should do it. Go!
What if I miss? What if it doesn't do anything but make him mad? I already made him mad once and that didn't really work out very well!
Simmons: Well then just--we'll improvise! Doc: Yeah, I don't feel entirely comfortable with that answer.
Doc: What the heck was that? Simmons: Uh-oh! I have a bad feeling that someone just caused them trouble.
Doc: Euahhh! Simmons: Oh no! Improvise! Improvise!