>> ANDREW: Hi mom!
>> MOM: Hey John, uh...Andrew.
Do your homework!
I'm sick of the school [BLEEP] calling me.
>> PEACH: Oh my God, here we go again.
>> MARIO: This is getting so boring.
Huh?
>> MARIO: Same [BLEEP]. Same [BLEEP] every single day. >> PEACH: Of course, every single day.
>> MARIO: Let me go deal with it. >> PEACH: Now you're gonna go.
>> PEACH: Now I'm going to get kidnapped in 1, 2...
Help! Help!
>> MARIO: Oh [BLEEP], who the [BLEEP] are these girls?
>> LUIGI: Which girls?
>> MARIO: Luigi!?
>> LUIGI: Mario!
>> MARIO: How you doing? >> LUIGI: Hello Papi.
>> MARIO: Look at what I'm dealing with. Should we go?
>> LUIGI: Yeah. >> MARIO: Let's go.
>> MARIO: Check it out, check it out. >> LUIGI: Hello, hey.
>> MARIO: Hello Mami, how are you doing?
>> MUSHROOM: Hello, my love.
>> LUIGI: Where'd he go?
>> ANDREW: Aw, man.
[LUIGI CRYING]
>> LUIGI: Mario? >> MARIO: Get up, let's go.
>> LUIGI: What? >> MARIO: I have four lives bro. Just don't touch these [BLEEP].
>> MUSHROOM: Can I kiss you? >> MARIO: No, no. Don't listen. Come on! Come on!
>> MARIO: Don't touch her. It's bad. Don't touch her.
>> LUIGI: Yo! >> MARIO: How you doing?
>> MARIO: Okay, okay, okay. >> LUIGI: Concentrate, concentrate! Alright.
>> MARIO: We just have to get to that one right there.
>> LUIGI: Yo, but this one.
>> MARIO: What are you doing? Don't touch her! Don't touch her! Come on! Come on!
>> HANNAH STOCKING: Hey guys!
>> MARIO & LUIGI: Hey Hannah! >> MARIO: How are you?
>> HANNAH STOCKING: Where's my hug at?
>> MARIO: Yeah, just stay the [BLEEP] away, but how are you?
>> HANNAH STOCKING: Touch me!
>> HANNAH STOCKING: Touch me! >> MARIO: Hey, hey, Hannah look! It's One Direction. >> LUIGI: One Direction!
>> HANNAH STOCKING: Shut up!
>> LUIGI: Go! Go! Go! Go!
>> HANNAH STOCKING: Where are they?
>> LUIGI: See you later.
[PEACH SCREAMING]
>> DAISY: Peach?
>> PEACH: Daisy?
>> DAISY: Oh my God. What are you doing here?
>> PEACH: How long have you been here?
>> DAISY: Oh my God, like 10 years.
>> PEACH: Luigi?
>> DAISY: Yes.
>> PEACH: You know what? Why don't we escape?
>> DAISY: Yeah! We should escape.
>> PEACH: Why don't we do this ourselves?
>> DAISY: Yes! Let's do it!
Help!
>> PEACH: This way. >> DAISY: Oh.
>> TOAD: I think it should go like DUN NUN NUNA.
>> MARIO: What the [BLEEP]?
>> TOAD: Yo.
>> MARIO: What the [BLEEP] is this [BLEEP]? >> LUIGI: I don't know.
>> TOAD: It's a whole new world, mother [BLEEP].
>> MARIO: You look like Aladdin.
>> TOAD: I'm Toad. I make all your music.
>> MARIO: Bro, we got [BLEEP] to do. I don't know where we are and we gotta save these [BLEEP].
>> MARIO: I promise I will get you guys out of here. Let's just have one shot.
>> MARIO: We have no time to chill. >> LUIGI: We can't chill bro.
>> TOAD: Guys, just one shot?
>> MARIO: One shot? >> LUIGI: Let's do one shot.
>> MARIO: [BLEEP] it. One shot.
>> TOAD: Perfect.
>> MARIO: Two shots? >> LUIGI: Let's do two.
>> TOAD: Two?
>> MARIO: Three shots, call it a night.
>> TOAD: Woo! Let's do it.
>> MARIO: Six shots and we're out of here. >> LUIGI: And we're out.
>> TOAD: Seven. >> MARIO: No, no more than seven shots. I can't do more than seven.
>> TOAD: Nine. >> MARIO: Nine shots and I get sick.
>> LUIGI: Ten it is! >> MARIO: Ten is a good number. >> TOAD: Woo! Yoshii, hit it one time!
>> YOSHII: One, two, three, here we go!
[MUSIC]
>> PEACH: Check that door! Just check it!
>> DAISY: No, there's nothing.
>> PEACH: Shh. Shh. >> DAISY: What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?
>> PEACH: You can't make any noise.
>> DAISY: You're an idiot. Don't make noise she says.
>> MARIO: Let's go and save these [BLEEP]. >> LUIGI: Let's go!
>> PEACH: Mario!
>> DAISY: Luigi!
>> MARIO & LUIGI: [BLEEP].
>> TOAD: I'm Toad.
>> DAISY: You guys are idiots, okay?
>> MARIO: It's a-me Mario! >> LUIGI: Luigi!
>> DAISY: What are you guys drunk?
>> MARIO: A little bit, I'm not gonna lie, a little bit. >> LUIGI: A lot.
>> PEACH: Do you know what we did today? We saved ourselves. >> DAISY: Yes.
>> MARIO: Check out our new friend. >> LUIGI: I took 10 mushrooms.
>> TOAD: I hooked them up, I hooked them up.
>> PEACH: Okay, let's go.
>> MARIO: Okay! Let's go. >> LUIGI: You should take a mushroom.
>> LUIGI: Let's go!
>> PEACH: Wait!
>> ANDREW: Bowser! Bowser's coming!
>> DAISY: What are we gonna do?
>> MARIO: Okay, everybody relax, okay. We got this, alright.
We've worked way too long and way too hard and way too long.
We've been in this [BLEEP] god dang game way too long.
>> MARIO: Sorry, sorry. [BLEEP] the speech. >> PEACH: Okay, let's go!
>> PEACH: Let's go. Let's just fight. Go! >> MARIO: Let's go.
>> MARIO: Alright, come on, let's do this. On the count of 3 ready...
1
>> PEACH: 2
>> MARIO: 3!
>> ANDREW: No, no, no!
>> MOM: Are you doing your...
Are you doing your homework? I hope your not playing that video game.
I don't really care.
>> BOWSER: Cheers man! >> MARIO: Cheers bro!
>> MARIO: Why are we always fighting?
>> BOWSER: I don't know, let's be friends. >> MARIO: Let's be friends. I'm down.
>> MARIO: Holy [BLEEP], we won!
>> LUIGI: Where did she go?
>> MARIO: Why are you crying, bro? Come on!
Oh my God.
>> PEACH: We're gonna finish the game.
>> MARIO: Should we go?
>> PEACH: Yeah! >> MARIO: Let's go! >> DAISY: Let's do it!
>> DAISY: What the [BLEEP] is happening?
>> MARIO: Why can't we move?
>> ANDREW: Battery died!
>> TOAD: I think the battery died.
>> PEACH: Did he save it?
>> ANDREW: And I forgot to save the game!
>> MARIO: Oh [BLEEP].
[ALL SCREAMING]
>> PEACH: No!
>> MARIO: [BLEEP].
[EXIT MUSIC]