So after the confusing advice from Miss Classically Abby,
I still haven’t learned how to be a classy lady.
I think I need to transfer classes. Get me a new teacher. And I have been recommended: Anna Bey,
formerly known as the School of Affluence. What a name. That’s kinda great. I wanna be affluent.
Classy, boujee, affluent.
Anyways, I thought it might be fun to check out some of her work,
and Anna’s channel is rather large and she seems to be an accomplished lady.
So it’s fine for me to goof on her. I’m punching up.
But she can’t make fun of me back, ok, Anna? I’m thin-skinned like a little baby.
And if you aren’t familiar with me, my name is Tara Mooknee and this is the
only channel on Youtube where all videos are written and produced by a cow. Unusual, I know.
She couldn’t be in the video today because she’s already classy, boujee,
affluent - so she needed to take a day off today. It’s exhausting being a classy lady. I imagine.
But if you like and subscribe, she might appear in the next one.
Now: back to the School of Affluence. First let's establish what her channel is about.
Anna Bey is an educator and thought leader in the sophisticated feminine empowerment space.
She teaches women how to elevate their personal presence and lifestyle through self-development.
Anna is the founder of School Of Affluence, an online finishing school for women with an
exclusive curriculum for ladies who are passionate about their pursuit of a refined and elegant life.
What the heck is a finishing school?
Girls in aristocratic circles have long attended a finishing school to polish
their manners, their deportment
Whatever that is.
and their accents. Wealthy families in the United Kingdom have traditionally
sent their young society ladies to finishing schools in Switzerland
to learn the intricacies of correct upper class behaviour.
Oh so it’s like the Princess Diaries. Well you learn something new everyday.
What are the admissions requirements of these schools?
Would they look at me and be like “no you’re hopeless mate”.
Okay, you know what, I need to stop with the self depreciation - who says I can’t be a boujee lady?
The only barrier is myself. I need to just believe in myself to become a classy, affluent lady.
And acquire wealth. A lot of it.
But I’m sure Anna will teach me how to do that too.
Okay, now we’re cooking with gas. We’ve got a bunch of modules for me
to complete and then I will have my qualification.
So!
Ooh! I should do that a bit more daintily, shouldn't I?
Let’s get to the actual content. Let’s see what her most viewed videos are.
They never look at their phone on the toilet? You know, that's actually sensible
advice I know too many people that have dropped their phones in the toilet, so.
My bank balance?
We’ve got to start with a bang, let’s check out her most viewed video which is:
10 Things Elegant Ladies NEVER Wear!
Now, this one is for all of you who want to be more elegant,
because today I am talking about those 10 important things an elegant lady never would wear.
So before I start this video ladies, I want to be a little bit clear on one thing. Number 1:
here we talk elegance. So I will be speaking about elegant fashion and what is appropriate
elegant fashion and in this video we're talking about those things that you shouldn't wear.
So, for that reason I want to say: those who feel easily offended -
Uh oh! That’s me! I’m a massive snowflake. Snowflaking all over the place.
To not watch this video if you feel somehow attacked because maybe
you'll be wearing one of these things or maybe you do not agree
with my opinion - so spare my community your negative energy and move onto another video.
I’m excited for tea Anna, spill it everywhere!
Ooh wait, that wouldn’t be elegant. A lady would never spill her tea on her fine...linen.
Is linen a fancy material? Evidently, I need to take this course, pronto!
I'm talking about wearing your gym clothes when you're not doing sports, when you're
not at the gym, when you're running around in town doing your errands wearing yoga pants.
Or worst of all: being in an airplane and travel - short haul, long haul - whatever!
Being at the airport wearing your yoga pants. Why? Can you please explain the logic?
Comfort!. Because flights and travelling in general are uncomfortable so why would you wear
something that would make yourself even more uncomfortable? There ya go. That's my answer.
There are many other more comfortable trousers that are actually even more
stylish and chic and actually are meant for whatever occasion it is you're in.
There are...travel pants? That’s a thing? Oh, stuff does come up. And they’re not leggings.
Okay, Anna, you know what, I’m gunna take the L on this one.
Cartoon prints. Or prints with animals.
Oohhh now this is me! I love that shit!
I mean if you have a bit of juvenile clothing with prints of
Mickey Mouse, Snoopy, Betty Boop, Hello Kitty -
furbies, gremlins and of course - cows.
I do think that even in casual clothing like pyjamas, like your homes clothes,
stay away from all these cartoon prints.
Wait, even in pyjamas?? But. But. WHEN THEN?
T shirts are for me and for an elegant wardrobe not appropriate everyday wear. T shirts are very
laid back and very casual garments. I would say maybe as a home garment it would be maybe okay
(depending on the look of the t shirt) but a lot of them are not even appropriate for homewear.
NOT appropriate for homewear? How many outfits a day are we supposed to wear?
So these are my elegant pyjamas, then I slip in my pre-shower outfit,
then I slip into my shower outfit, because the birthday suit is not ladylike,
then I wear my post-shower outfit, and then I wear my “taking a dump” outfit - which includes
a t- shirt. Remember this ladies: t shirts are only appropriate for when you’re taking a sh-
Number 6: ripped jeans.
Oh! We agree! I also don’t like them!
I think they’re terrible value for money...but I guess that goes against the philosophy we’re
trying to adopt today. I'm guessing that the school does not promote frugal-ness.
Elegant ladies do not step outside their house wearing creased clothes. Please do
tattoo this on your arm because I still see this happening a lot. It's such a,
like, such a basic thing but I think people are just being lazy and this is the thing:
when you want to be sophisticated and elegant you cannot afford being lazy.
Urgh but I love being lazy. I’m a youtuber!
Investing in something like this -
Oh I have one of those!
And actually use it -
Oh wait I never use it.
Man, I wonder if the war on leggings is gunna end in my lifetime.
Leggings ARE inappropriate. 'Cause these AREN'T leggings, these are pants.
And it's been a long time since I've seen people use the two, umm, what-you-ma-call-thems? To do
that face? You know, that kinda emoji. That, that brings me back to 2013.
I couldn’t find many comments of people being offended,
it was mainly just “this is too much effort, not worth it mate”.
Anyways, shall we check out another?
10 Things Elegant Ladies NEVER Do At Home
I expect this to be amusing.
People will have these running around their home and if they need for instance like a tissue
you know, to blow their nose they use toilet paper, or if they, they need a napkin -
That is...incredibly...specific.
One of the things that I personally cannot stand
is when people shout to eachother from one room to another.
Aw man. This is a personal attack. These are all victimising me. And in this case the cow, too.
Cow! Did you hear what she said? That we shouldn’t shout to each other from other rooms! *Moo*
I know right! *Moo*
Loudness when they're being intimate with their partner. Screaming like a beaten pig just because
you are having intimacy doesn't justify it ladies. Think about it, think about your neighbours -
And this is why you should scream-proof your home. Not so you can hold hostages, but so
you can scream. We all need that outlet. I know screaming isn’t very ladylike, but I do think it’s
important to have a lil scream every now and then. I mean, there’s even a helpline dedicated to this.
In today's video ladies I uncover those 10 Things Elegant Ladies NEVER Do!
Well this ought to be good.
Elegant ladies would never dress inappropriately.
And with inappropriately I mean elegant ladies are not trying too hard.
So don’t try too hard BUT attend finishing school to
analyse the minutiae of every single hand movement you make and word you say.
Elegant ladies do not wear clothes that are too tight. They wear clothes that you can at least
place two fingers in between the garment and the body.
GOT IT???!!
Elegant ladies never show lack of confidence.
Because no matter how well you dress or how well you speak,
if you don't execute anything with confidence then people don't buy your dose of elegance.
Oooh okay. So I can convince people that I’m elegant if I say so with confidence.
I’m...elegant.
I’m...affluent.
I’m...athletic.
I...don’t have IBS.
Ah man, I’m gunna end up on that reddit thread: “confidently incorrect”, aren’t I?
Having aggressive body language. And that can be anything. That can be the tone
of your voice. That can be your gestures. Maybe you're grabbing things too harshly -
I need to hydrate. Because my LADY throat is LADY dry.
Better grab this delicately.
Elegant ladies are never desperate.
Where is she getting these stock images? Because
they’re bloody fantastic! I want that above my bed.
We're not desperate for men,
we're not desperate for friendships or networking or opportunities or food -
Wait, don’t be desperate for food? What if you’re...starving? Like in...what's it called?
Oliver Twist?
“Oh please sir, please can I have some more? Oh FUCK that isn't elegant enough!"
Please sir, I want some more.
Now, an elegant lady never does uncalculated things.
Ok this is even better. Does she make these? Because,
I would legit buy this artwork. Anna, make this into merch.
Why??
Perhaps I’m not cut out for this life. I am happy in my oaf ways,
and if Anna is happy in her elegant ways - that’s also grande.
So perhaps...I’m giving up. I'm withdrawing from my studies at the school of affluence.
Thank you for believing in me. I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the end.
But that is enough of that, let’s switch gears, and look at today’s subscription pet shoutout.
We’ve got ourselves a hot chick today. And her name is Bunny.
She is a 1 1/2 year old Blue Splash Silkie Chicken. Ooh! Very affluent!
And she has a sweet yet spunky personality. Despite being the smallest in the flock,
she runs things like it's no one's business!
And here’s a lil story from the owner:
About a year ago, Bunny became broody, and was sitting on non fertile eggs,
so we got her three fertile Easter Egger Eggs from a friend. Low and behold, she sat on them,
though only one hatched. That hatchling is Nugget. Soon after Nugget's hatching,
Bunny decided motherhood wasn't really her thing, so she took to trying to beat baby Nugget up!
We ended up separating them, and getting friends for Nugget,
aw, but they still have a strained relationship lol. Nugget is our sweetest girl,
but with Bunny she will show no love, and they often scuffle like gossiping old hags.
Gosh. I love chicken coop politics. Fascinating stuff.
What a classy bird. Geddit. Let’s give her a round of applause.
And that is all for today. If you enjoyed it, make sure to subscribe because when you subscribe,
you become a lil subscription. And when you become a lil subscription, I will keep you
underneath my pillow with the rest of my lil subscriptions. And who wouldn’t want that?
Anyways that it all. Buh bye, buh bye now! Buh bye! Buh bye now! Buh bye!