- What's the creepiest baby doll of them all?
- Let's talk about that.
(alarm rings) (playful theme music)
(fire blasts)
Good Mythical Morning.
- Halloween is just around the corner,
so to get into the spirit on Monday,
we'll be starting a three day tournament to determine
the worst Halloween candy of them all,
so check out our Facebook and Twitter
to download the candy bracket now.
- Yeah, fill it out, see how correct you are.
But first, we're gonna spend some time with
one of the creepiest things that I can think of.
Baby dolls.
They are almost as creepy as real babies.
What, I mean, babies scream all the time
and they crap themselves on purpose.
That's creepy.
- Right but right now we're talking about dolls,
not babies, and the Mythical crew has scoured
the darkest corners of the internet AKA eBay,
and have acquired some of the creepiest baby dolls
ever manufactured and we're gonna crown the creepiest.
It's time for ranked: creepy baby dolls.
We have invited five crew members to join us today
and they are Stevie, Emily, Jordan, Ellie and Josh.
- Hello guys.
- Let's clap.
(cheering and clapping)
They each have brought with them a creepy baby doll
to present to us and make their arguments
and we're told that most of these dolls were at one point
in mass production and sold to the public.
- Which may be very disturbing.
Rhett and I are going to rank them to determine
the ultimate creepiest baby doll ever!
- Whoa, don't get too excited.
(Stevie laughs)
- Why don't we start with Ellie.
- Great, I prepared a speech.
(laughing)
- Great, I loves it.
- Let me paint you a picture, okay.
The year's 1965, the Vietnam War rage is on,
free love abounds and my mom's two years old actually.
- Oh.
- That's not really here nor there but--
- She's teething or something.
- Yes, what did happen was Hasbro released a doll
called Little Miss No Name.
Yes, drink her in.
She's an orphan doll that has no name as a matter of course.
- [Link] Oh gosh she has man hands.
Look at that hand.
- [Ellie] She's had a tough life, you know?
- It's huge. - Little Miss No Name.
- Yeah so at the time in the 1960s,
there was this whole trend where people were obsessed
with big eye paintings because it made them feel empathy
and so Hasbro decided to cash in on that.
An interesting thing about Little Miss No Name is that
if you do figure out her real name,
she will eat your baby.
(Rhett laughs)
Your real baby.
- But you just keep throwing out names
until she gets excited?
- [Ellie] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- So this is an original.
We got this off of eBay.
- Oh yeah, this was $125. - No we made it, Link.
(Stevie and Rhett laugh)
- What? - $125 for this.
- This is an antique piece of crap.
Look at the hair.
- Yeah it's a worse wig than Britney.
- Yeah this is incredibly creepy.
It's difficult to imagine a baby doll being
creepier than this which makes me very excited about today.
- Yeah she's a home run.
- Actually I don't know.
For me, is it just sad?
Like the big eyes with the tear.
I mean if you light it correctly and if it rer--
- So this causes empathy in you.
- Yeah, I'm sad.
- I don't have that part of my brain, so--
- Does she have one hand that's like a hand out
and one that's like an action chop or is that--
- Yeah so in the promotional photos she often has
a coin in her hand.
- [Stevie] Oh my God.
- [Emily] And then she chops you and then runs.
- This wouldn't go over well today.
That is one note I'll make.
- [Ellie] Absolutely.
- All right let's--
- Let's put her in the middle, I mean again,
she's very creepy to me but it is a little bit sad.
I gotta agree with that.
Okay we're moving along to Stevie.
- This wouldn't go over well today is a very good segue
for the doll you're about to meet.
(laughs) - [Link] Okay.
- This is Hugo, Man of 1000 Faces.
And he was produced by the Kenner Toy Company in 1975.
I'm told he was pretty popular.
We got him on eBay for $129.
The box says Hugo can be anything
his master wants him to be.
Can we grab the box, guys?
A hero, a villain, a comic character,
or a scary guy, and he was intended for children
ages five to 11.
So this is the box too which is quite 70s.
- Oh my gosh, look at the eyes.
- [Rhett] Does it come with super glue?
- I think you're supposed to lick the back of it.
- [Stevie] Ew, God.
- Nope, not doing that.
- The thing is, yeah, he's wearing a Renaissance shirt,
which I don't quite understand.
- Renaissance shirt (laughs).
- [Jordan] Hey kids, have you always wanted to play
with your own uncle?
- That's a thing, like, I'm 100% confident
that this is the creepiest doll but I'm not 100% confident
that all of my comments will be show appropriate
because this is literally a man doll that was designed
by men for little girls to play with.
- [Link] What am I now, Stevie?
- [Rhett] Oh you know what it looks like right now?
This looks like the crazy aunt from Mister Rogers.
- Oh.
- That's a deep reference.
- That's exactly the same.
I watched the documentary last night so it's very fresh.
- The thing is is that you think that they were trying
to circumvent the whole little girls playing
with a man thing by putting that boy on the box
until you realize there's also a Catholic priest outfit
that he can change into.
- Oh boy. - Are you serious?
- [Stevie] No. (laughs)
- I feel like--
- None of the pieces stick,
so I'm stuck kinda holding them on.
- That's part of the fun!
You gotta find a friend to hold all the pieces to the face.
- Well and then the other thing, I was like,
well it's a good thing that he doesn't have a bottom half
because you know a lot could happen.
But then I was like, where's the bottom half?
You know what I mean and I think that's an additive--
- Where are the nipples? - To the creep factor.
Yeah, and then at night, you're just laying alone
thinking to yourself where are the nipples
and that's really what does it for him.
- I feel like he should also come with a coffee cup
that's secretly filled with whiskey.
(laughing)
- This is without a doubt creepier.
I think you gotta put him in number two.
- So creepy. - Oh really, look,
what's creepy about this guy?
What have you done?
- You're gonna have to keep holding him
the whole time though.
- I like him because he has alopecia
but alopecia doesn't have him.
He's still going around with his day to day.
- Okay Josh, what do you have for us?
- Speaking of dolls with alopecia,
this is a vintage three-faced baby doll.
It was really, really difficult to find any information
on her but we did find a discussion on a thread
on the website CollectorsWeekly.com.
So user Manikin, the only person who seems to have
any information about this vintage
three-face baby doll writes,
it's a take on the original Trudy doll.
The original Trudy doll is a trademark
of the Three-In-One Doll Corp,
and these date from the 1970s to the 1980s.
- But what do you mean the Three-In-One?
- [Josh] Turn her face please if you will.
- [Rhett] Like this?
- Turn her face. - What?
Why would it be down there?
- If you take her bassinet off, you can turn her face.
So there are three faces.
There's sleepy, weepy, and smiley is what it says.
- [Ellie] Oh no!
- [Josh] So that is actually its pooping face,
and then if you turn, that's it's sleeping face.
- [Ellie] Why is that worse?
- They all look like when Arnold Schwarzenegger goes out
on the surface of Mars in Total Recall.
- [Emily] Yes!
- None of the faces are even close to pleasant.
There was never any shot of that doll
bringing anyone any happiness,
which I think is kinda beautiful.
It is exclusively meant to terrify.
It's a lot smaller than the other dolls
so it can fit in the crevices underneath a door, perhaps.
- Right, nooks and crannies. - Into a closet.
- This does have like a--
- Don't put your mouth on it. - Like a demonic sort of
horror quality to it that it could be creepier,
but I don't know if it's creepier than Mr. Bojangles,
what do you call it?
- Let me tell you it's not.
It's not creepier 'cause Hugo is the creepiest of them all.
- [Link] I feel like we made him the creepiest version.
- No, strip it all away, take off his shirt,
that's the creepiest version.
- [Emily] It's kinda hot when you put the glasses on.
- [Stevie] (laughing) It's not.
- Yeah I've definitely dated someone that looks like that.
- I'd date a guy with no legs and that over a lot
of the dudes in LA.
- [Jordan] Yeah if you take off the chin he kinda looks
like Henry Cavill.
- [Ellie] No!
- Are we going here or here?
This is tough, man.
- Put her at three for now.
Okay Emily. - Oh God.
- What do you got? - Okay, so this doll
was manufactured starting in 1939.
Originally these dolls were for people who had lost
a child. - Oh wow.
- A little bleak, a little bleak but also very spooky.
(Jordan wails)
Dead kids-- - When a parent outlives
their child!
- Yeah exactly.
So and people would get kind of a replica of their child
to remember them if they needed some comfort or whatever
but this doll is then redone by an artist
to be an alternative reborn doll.
- I haven't even seen the doll and I'm creeped out.
But there's the doll.
Oh my gosh!
- [Jordan] It has a skin condition.
- [Link] What!
- [Emily] Yeah, make sure to support the head.
- [Ellie] Nothing wrong.
- If you like Wednesday Addams but also Benjamin Button,
this is really great.
She's perfect for any gathering of the snuggle-o's.
My favorite is the French tips not only manicure
but pedicure at the same time.
Everything else makes sense but that.
- The thing that gets me-- - The veins.
- The skin and all of those veins.
- [Emily] A lot of detail work went into this.
- Oh gosh I mean, look how realistic it looks on camera.
Oh gosh.
- [Ellie] What's wrong with her eyes?
(Link mimics crying baby)
- I kinda wanna stop holding her.
- If anyone's gonna be the Annabelle, it's this one--
- [Link] This is how you burp her.
- Because it was made for a baby that passed away.
If any of these is haunted, it's that one.
Don't spank it!
- I'm not, I'm burping it.
- Look at what's happening to the hip dysplasia here.
- Go higher, you are a real father.
That is a fake child.
- In my mind that's the creepiest one yet.
- Link's kinda have a Koko's kitten kind of relationship
with this one. (all laughing)
- Okay Jordan.
- Yes, okay, final doll.
Creepiest for last, I know, that's a bold claim.
But this one is really bad.
Okay, 1966, produced by Mattel,
so this is a legit toy company thought this was okay.
This is Baby Secret.
Baby Secret.
- [Ellie] Oh no.
- Nice hairstyle there.
- [Jordan] Found on eBay $45.
It's also known as a yacker because
you'll note a string back there.
Maybe give that a little yank and she'll yack.
- Here we go.
- I love to sleep with you.
- I like to sleep with you.
- Oh no!
- [Rhett] Is that what she says every time?
- [Jordan] There's other things.
- Will you tell me a story?
- Will you tell me a--
- I think it's will you tell me a story but it says
will you kill me a donkey, it could be either.
- [Emily] Will you kill me a donkey?
- [Jordan] Yeah it could be either, hard to say.
- Whisper, tee hee hee hee hee.
- What was that one?
That was an ancient curse and now we're dead.
- Something hee hee hee.
(Rhett laughs)
- I swear, once I pulled it and she said,
you're my biological father.
(all laughing)
- Here's the thing, I mean this thing is well-worn,
bought on eBay.
- Yeah, somebody spent a lot of quality time with this.
- Yeah that's exactly what I'm thinking.
- They're currently--
- Incarcerated.
(laughs)
- [Link] Incarcerated.
- Or it spent a lot of quality time with someone.
- I feel like someone's transferred their own psyche to it.
Baby Secret, I think we've talked about her
on a previous episode but we did not get to experience
touching or--
- Don't! - No!
- Smelling her. - Oh no!
- I'm gonna put you up there.
- I mean she's someone's Horcrux, right?
- Yes!
- That'd give you an instant headache, by the way.
- Yeah right, yeah, you got some demon in you.
Yeah man, I'm not sniffin' that thing.
- I'm gonna (blows air) blow it.
I'm gonna blow it into your being.
(blows air)
- [Jordan] Hopefully that's not how it works.
- Suck it in. - No!
(blows air)
Come on, you can't do that.
- Oh no, don't put them together, they'll make a plan!
They'll start planning something!
- Oh no!
- Okay well what I will say is that
Stevie, I'm sorry.
Your doll just seems like a good time now.
- [Stevie] No way!
- [Rhett] Now that, I mean look at this thing!
Look at the way she's perched up there.
- Yeah, I'm feeling you on this.
The man of many faces and many bandages.
- Whoa whoa whoa!
- I'm gonna take him home just to comfort me now.
- Yeah sorry Ellie, ratchet Emma Stone is not--
(laughing)
- You think that she's the creepiest.
- I don't know, it's between these two.
I don't think that it's the many faces doll.
I just don't think she's in competition at this point.
- If it were just baby doll heads, this one would win.
I think.
But there was nothing else--
- 'Cause there's more than one?
- [Rhett] Did you see the bruising on this one's eyes?
Because that's pretty creepy.
- Did you try putting your finger in her mouth yet?
(someone screams)
- [Rhett] Oh look what happens with her face.
- Ugh, get in there! - No!
(Emily laughs)
- I told you the mouth opens.
- I didn't know at the time.
Now, yes, it was.
- I think the fact that this one whispers things
to you and the fact that it was produced
by a big company--
- I love to whisper, tee hee hee hee hee.
- What was that?
- I think she said I have wisdom.
- Or whiskey.
- And then the last part was just a dead language
that no one speaks anymore.
- The fact that she gets produced by a major company
and more widely available than this one
which is a modern-day recreation of an old one,
to me--
- [Link] This one's trying to be creepy too.
- [Rhett] Right, this one was trying to be helpful
and is creepy unintentionally in a really,
really disturbing way.
And look she just laid eggs and it was the face of that one.
(crew laughing)
- So there we have it.
- [Rhett] So what is this one called again?
- This is called Baby Secret.
- [Rhett] I think Baby Secret is the creepiest
baby doll ever.
- Congratulations, Baby Secret.
- Do you have anything to say for yourself?
- My name is Baby Secret.
- Okay, that's a great way to go out.
Get that branding in. - Baby Secret,
the creepiest doll of them all!
- There you have it.
Thanks for liking, commenting and subscribing.
- Thank you guys.
You say, "You know what time it is."
- [Crew] You know what time it is.
- Hello everyone, it is me Redrum from Crestwood, Illinois,
and it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality.
- Can we do the competition over?
(crew laughs)
She's not a baby doll.
All right, click through to watch us match
the crew member to their favorite childhood toy
in Good Mythical More.
- And to find out where
the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land!
Grab ahold of Mythicality with this
Mythical leather keychain, available at Mythical.store.