From delectable and succulent to underwhelming and even a little bit weird.
These are the Boar's Head meats you have to try, and some you definitely shouldn’t.
Shouldn't: Bold Aloha Sunshine Pineapple Turkey Breast
We all know that mixing pineapple with savory foods can be controversial.
The arguments about whether pineapple belongs on pizza will never end.
"Good!"
"Mhmm."
"It’s good?!
What do you mean it's good?"
"Really good!"
"What?!
That's insane!
That's blasphemous!
Putting fruit on pizza?!"
Pineapple's bracing acidity and tropical warmth can be used to great effect in some meat dishes,
but only if they're applied correctly.
Suffice it to say that Boar's Head Bold Aloha Sunshine Pineapple Turkey Breast does not
integrate pineapple well into its mix of flavors.
We like to see Boar's Head getting experimental.
It's nice to not have to eat the same old sandwich meats every day.
Still, we can't imagine anyone wanting to eat this for lunch or at all for that matter.
Imagine opening a giant can of Dole pineapple juice and dumping a whole roasted turkey breast
into it, then letting that concoction sit for a few days.
That will give you a good idea of what this misbegotten deli meat tastes like.
It's so sweet that it almost seems like it has Splenda or aspartame in it, and there's
no acidity whatsoever coming from the pineapple.
The description on the Boar's Head site says there's hibiscus in the turkey as well, but
we certainly couldn't taste it.
This turkey tastes wrong, and our brains struggled to make sense of the mismatched flavors.
Save the pineapple for the top of your Christmas ham.
Liver is a delicious, underappreciated cut of meat, and liverwurst is one of the easiest
and best ways to enjoy this offal in our humble opinion.
Other liverwursts we've sampled have usually been spreadable, pate-like mixtures with a
noticeable liver taste.
Boar's Head's liverwurst, however, is a little different - and not in a good way.
It's a slightly firmer, sliceable log of sausage that's halfway between liverwurst and bologna.
Its texture is in the uncanny valley between a soft spread and sliced deli meat.
It also smells like livery bologna, which is, well, not good.
On the tongue, it tastes like bologna at first, but then develops a livery character in the
aftertaste that intensifies over time.
We could imagine somebody enjoying this if they were used to its wet tissue paper-like
texture, but even most people who enjoy the flavor of liver would probably not care for
this product.
Boar's Head Olive Terrine Loaf sounds like some kind of fancy French appetizer, but it's
really just a big square brick of beef and pork bologna with a bunch of pimento-stuffed
green olives molded into it.
Boar's Head makes good bologna, and the meat portion of this olive loaf is no exception.
It's well-seasoned and has a nice firm texture.
However, for us, the olives ruin the experience of eating this.
It's not because they're bad olives — quite the contrary, in fact.
The Manzanilla olives are briny and bright, and they're shockingly crisp and fresh-tasting
given that they have been cooked inside a giant loaf of emulsified meat.
However, in context, their crispness is actually the problem.
The olives are much harder than the meat surrounding them, and the overall texture of the olive
loaf is similar to meat studded with hunks of crunchy gristle.
This is another one of Boar's Head's more contemporary, experimental deli meats.
While we weren't completely sold on the Ichiban Teriyaki Style Chicken Breast, it was much
more successful than the pineapple turkey.
For one, it wasn’t heinously sweet.
It had some sugar in it, as you would expect from teriyaki sauce, but the sweetness didn't
totally overwhelm the savory, salty flavor of the chicken itself.
The sweet glaze on the outside was also tempered by the taste of soy sauce.
The teriyaki flavor was confined to the exterior of the chicken, so if you ripped off the glaze,
the meat just tasted like normal deli chicken.
While we appreciated that the teriyaki flavor in this was somewhat mild, we still don't
understand why this exists.
Most people like to make sandwiches with deli meat, and for us, teriyaki doesn't mix very
well with classic sandwich toppings.
Maybe that's an unpopular opinion since people seem to enjoy the teriyaki chicken at Subway,
but for us, it's a strange combo.
Also, the chicken products from Boar's Head have a noticeably softer, spongier texture
than the turkey.
If you're buying poultry from the company, we'd recommend choosing turkey for that reason.
If you're wondering what Lebanon bologna is, that's probably because it's a regional delicacy
from Lebanon, Pennsylvania.
This Pennsylvania Dutch staple has a history going back to the 1700s.
It's a type of smoked beef bologna that's characterized by having chunks of visible
fat and a distinct seasoning mix containing spices like cloves, ginger, and allspice.
It's also usually a little bit tangy, as it's a fermented sausage.
With such a cool backstory, we were looking forward to trying this product, but we found
it a little underwhelming.
It reminded us of a hybrid between bologna and salami.
The flavor was very beefy, smoky, and sweet from the mix of spices and it was less finely
ground and uniform than standard bologna.
However, our biggest gripe concerned the texture.
It was very firm, to the point of being rubbery.
Each slice had an extra hard skin on the outside that we didn't much enjoy biting through.
Speaking of other bolognas, now's the time to talk about mortadella.
It's a large-format emulsified sausage that's a specialty of Bologna, Italy.
You can tell the difference between mortadella and bologna visually because mortadella always
has large chunks of cured fat mixed in with the emulsified meat paste.
Mortadella is also 100% pork, while bologna often contains beef.
The distinguishing flavor of Boar's Head Mortadella is garlic.
You smell garlic when you open the package and its sharp flavor is noticeable in every
bite as well.
There are also noticeable pieces of whole black peppercorns in some slices.
The texture is snappy but yielding, a combination of soft and toothsome that would be perfect
in a sandwich.
Since it's made with pork, there's something about its flavor that reminds us of Oscar
Mayer Bologna, which has pork in it.
Boar's Head Hard Salami lives up to its name as it has the nice, firm, chewy texture you
want from deli salami.
This salami has a distinct acidic tang that we find quite enjoyable.
It needs that sour bite because it’s quite fatty.
While a certain amount of fat is good in deli meat, too much makes it hard to taste the
more nuanced flavors.
Unfortunately, that's the case with Boar's Head Hard Salami.
We couldn't detect anything besides salt and acidity over the fat.
We would enjoy this product more if it was either seasoned more aggressively or if it
was slightly less fatty.
It wasn't bad, but it tasted a little bland.
Boar's Head Chorizo Serrano is a riff on Spanish-style chorizo.
However, this product is a pale imitation of its inspiration.
Authentic Spanish chorizo tastes intensely of paprika and garlic.
It's not exactly spicy, but it’s piquant.
In comparison, the Boar's Head version tastes a little flat.
It's tangy and a teeny bit sweet, which suggests to us that it's fermented, which is a good thing.
However, despite its bright red appearance, it doesn't taste strongly of paprika.
We also didn't pick up much garlic or black pepper, which would have woken up the flavor
of the meat.
It just tasted like high-quality, but fairly average, deli-sliced salami.
But, on the bright side, the texture was nice and firm.
Now we’ve come to Boar's Head Beef Bologna, which is shockingly good for what it is.
First of all, it's well-seasoned.
It's salty, savory, and loaded with garlic and paprika.
Also, the all-beef recipe elevates this bologna.
The beef gives the product a deep, meaty richness that pork bolognas just don't have.
Bologna is often too soft, but Boar's Head Beef Bologna is on the firmer side, without
being chewy.
This is truly excellent bologna, but in the end, it's still bologna.
For us, there's a hard upper limit on how delicious any bologna product can be.
Also, it smells like raw hot dogs, which isn't great.
What's America's favorite pizza topping?
"It's pepperoni."
That's right!
Pepperoni blends the primal tastiness of fatty pork with a heaping helping of salt and a
touch of spiciness to create something truly special.
We don't think there's such a thing as bad pepperoni, and Boar's Head's version of the
product is predictably yummy, though unspectacular.
Boar's Head Sandwich Style Pepperoni is a lot better than the artificial pre-sliced
stuff you can get in bags, in that it tastes like real food.
Beyond that, it delivers everything you expect from pepperoni.
It's mildly spicy, has a little tang, and delivers a black pepper kick.
The one aspect of this product that we didn't love was that when it was cold, the fat had
a waxy texture.
We imagine that if you served it hot on a pizza or a panini, it might up the meat's
enjoyability factor a notch or two.
While it didn't blow us away, Boar's Head chipotle chicken breast is much tastier than
their teriyaki chicken breast.
The meat is a little bit firmer and more natural-seeming than the teriyaki chicken, and it's very salty
and well-seasoned.
The spicy chipotle is confined to the coating and doesn't penetrate the meat, but it actually
does have a little kick.
Per Boar's Head, the coating is spiked with a little bit of habanero powder, which might
be responsible for the heat.
It's still not going to blow anyone's head off, but it's more spice than we were expecting
from Boar's Head.
Boar's Head's tour around the world continues with its allegedly Tuscan-inspired Rosemary
& Sundried Tomato Ham.
This was the best of the weirder flavors we sampled for this taste test.
The ground-up tomatoes mixed with rosemary and other seasonings tasted like a savory
pasta sauce.
The coating actually reminded us of Italian flavors, and it complemented the ham shockingly well.
The ham itself was meaty and salty, with very little sweetness.
We enjoyed this quite a bit, but still preferred other ham products from the brand a little more.
Is it Capocollo?
"Gabagool."
Or is it capicola?
"I don't…really know what that is."
"You know, Gabuh-gool."
Well, whatever the hell you call it, Boar's Head Hot Uncured Capocollo is a faithful interpretation
of this Italian classic.
While this type of meat can often be on the lean, dry side, Boar's Head's version has
a nice ribbon of fat running through it to give it moisture.
It's a little bit chewy, which is typical for this type of meat but can be remedied
by slicing it thinner than we did.
It has a nice tangy flavor that's complemented by a kind of sweet nuttiness.
If we have one complaint about this, it's that it tastes too much like prosciutto.
Capocollo, especially one marketed as "hot," should taste like the spice mix it's cured with.
Unfortunately, this product didn't have the spicy flavor profile we were hoping for.
Pastrami is beef that has been cured in a salty brine and then rubbed with spices and
smoked, which basically makes it corned beef with extra flavors added to it.
When we're eating at a good Jewish deli that makes its own meat, we'll choose pastrami
over corned beef every time because it has a more complex flavor profile.
However, we found that Boar's Head Pastrami Round was less than the sum of its parts,
though it was still delicious.
The Boar's Head pastrami smells great.
You really get the aroma of all the spices, and there's a thick layer of spice "bark"
coating the meat.
The beef is super tender and has a decent amount of fat marbling that keeps it moist.
The spices come through in the flavor, but we didn't pick up much smoke, which was a
little disappointing.
In fact, we actually thought that the pastrami spice mix was a little too assertive.
It dominated the taste of the beef and made it taste a little bit like pickles.
This was still a solid take on pastrami, which is one of the best deli meats in general,
so we don’t take away too many points for the overbearing spices.
Boar's Head Cracked Pepper Mill Smoked Turkey Breast is just about the tastiest turkey deli
meat we can imagine.
Boar's Head turkey breast has a great texture.
It feels like real meat and strikes a good compromise between firm and juicy.
The smoke flavor in this product goes all the way through the meat, giving the boring
turkey a much more interesting taste.
The meat is also a little bit tangy, and the hint of acidity balances all the flavors well.
The pepper is applied as a crust on the outside, and there's a lot of it.
There's so much black pepper that it's kind of spicy.
The smoke combined with the pepper reminds us of salt and pepper-rubbed Texas barbecue.
All that being said, it's great turkey, but at the end of the day, it's still just turkey.
If this same seasoning mix was applied to beef or pork, we'd appreciate it even more.
SmokeMaster Beechwood Smoked Black Forest Ham may not be real German-style ham, but
it's awesome in its own special way.
If there's one thing the name of this product emphasizes, it's that it's smoked, and that's
for good reason — this is a seriously smoky ham.
There's no better flavor combination than woodsmoke and pork, and this ham delivers
that in spades.
It leans toward the saltier side of the ham spectrum and isn't covered with a sweet glaze.
The texture is wonderful too, almost like a fresh spiral-cut ham.
Boar's Head's Uncured Peppered Salame has a good blend of meat and big chunks of fat.
It's a little tangy, which could be from fermentation or from the wine that Boar's Head says is
in the recipe.
The texture is very hard and chewy, which we like in salami and the pepper is caked
thick on the outside of each slice of meat.
This product has the intensity of flavor we were looking for from the other salamis and
salami-like meats.
You get the richness from the fat, but it's cut with the sharp spiciness of the pepper.
This would make a great sandwich filling, but it's classy and distinctive enough to
go on a fancy charcuterie board as well.
The London Broil Top Round Roast Beef melts in your mouth, and even more impressively,
it's actually pink in the middle.
If you like your beef well done, this is not for you.
It's a rosy medium/medium rare, which for us is the perfect way to eat roast beef.
Instead of tasting like cured deli meat, it actually has the flavor of fresh homemade
roast beef.
You could reheat these slices in au jus to make a perfectly serviceable Italian Beef
or French Dip sandwich.
The only reason we're docking any points from this meat's rating is that it isn't quite
salty enough for us.
However, the understated seasoning profile lets the natural taste of the beef shine through.
If you want pure beefy flavor, this product is hard to beat.
Boar's Head Prosciutto di Parma tastes shockingly legit for something sold by an American meat company.
That's because it is legit — it is real prosciutto made the traditional way in Parma, Italy.
If you want a good bargain on real Italian prosciutto, grab this stuff from the deli counter.
This prosciutto is very soft, with layers of fat that melt the moment they hit your tongue.
Its flavor is quite complex from the aging process, with notes of sweetness, nuttiness,
and butter.
We also noticed a little bit of a cheesy flavor that reminded us of real Parmigiano-Reggiano.
We would guess that this is on the younger side for prosciutto, meaning it hasn't been
aged for a super long time, but that gives it a slightly moist texture that can be desirable
for applications like sandwiches.
We have to award the top spot to Boar's Head Corned Beef Top Round.
While Boar's Head's pastrami didn't quite live up to the freshly-made kind, their corned
beef tasted exactly like what we order piled high on rye bread from our favorite Jewish deli.
This corned beef is tender, but not overly so, and still has a satisfying bite.
It's well-marbled with fat and is evenly salty all the way through.
We could taste some of the pickling spices from the brine, but mostly it just tasted
like beef and salt.
We loved that we could detect the deep umami of the beef and that it wasn't drowned out
by the seasonings.
This won out over the roast beef because of its perfect level of saltiness, and this is
the corned beef we'd use to make our dream Reuben sandwich at home.