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- [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers.
Welcome back to another video.
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Now, back to the video.
Have you ever put someone down
for their appearance or intellect?
Emotional abuse is one of
the more common forms of abuse
that uses behavioral or emotional tactics
to gain a sense of control,
or to maintain the upper hand in a relationship.
It may be subtle and hard to recognize
since it often gets swept under the rug
as just a part of normal disagreements.
Before we begin,
we would like to mention
that this video is for educational purposes only
and is not intended to offend
or trigger any of our audiences.
This video is created so that
anyone who sees themselves in these behaviors
can use this information
to improve their relationships and lives.
With that said,
here are seven signs
you might be emotionally abusive.
Number one, you jokingly insult people.
Have you ever made a joke
with the intention of hurting the person
you're making fun of?
While family and friends may enjoy
playful banter with each other,
teasing and playful put downs
can end up crossing the line
into emotional abuse
when the jokes become aggressive,
and used intentionally to send
a negative and hurtful message across.
This especially applies
when you continue teasing the person
or brush it off as only a joke,
even though they've told you to stop
and that your comments have become hurtful.
Number two, you dismiss others' feelings.
Have you ever purposefully
ignored or dismissed how someone felt
because you thought they deserved it?
Everyday life can sometimes be so hectic,
you lose sight of what's happening
in other peoples' lives.
After all, you can't know
how your loved ones are feeling all the time.
But not recognizing someone's feelings
may become emotionally abusive
when you tell them their feelings are wrong,
or that they have no right to be so upset.
This psychological invalidation
of brushing someone's feelings off
as irrelevant or dramatic
can lead to feelings of rejection,
alienation and depression.
Number three, you like to embarrass others.
Do you bring up someone's embarrassing moments
to make them feel guilty or ashamed?
Have you ever humiliated someone out of anger
or because you feel threatened?
It's one thing to laugh about the past moments
in a fun and loving way,
but this may quickly become emotional abuse
when you go out of your way to humiliate them
as a way of punishment
or a reminder that you are the one
in control in your relationship.
Humiliating someone in front of people
or when they've asked for you to stop
can be incredibly damaging
for their mental and emotional wellbeing.
Number four, you like to push buttons.
Did you know that constantly doing and saying things
to get others to react
is also a form of emotional abuse?
Doing unpredictable things
to keep the other person on their toes
can be a form of emotional abuse.
Instead of being spontaneous
to do things you both enjoy,
you may use this unpredictable tactic
to say or do things to purposefully
anger and upset them,
especially in front of other people.
This may include broadcasting
a secret they told you in confidence,
or making social media posts
you know that will trigger them.
Number five, you tell people
their version of reality is wrong.
Have you ever dismissed someone's experience as imagined?
Gaslighting is a psychological term
for negating someone else's reality
and it involves intentional using
someone's words, feelings, or actions against them.
The goal is to completely discredit anything
the other person has to say,
so that the abuser can maintain
control over the narrative.
This may include telling them they are crazy,
accusing them of lying,
or making decisions for them without their input.
Number six, you use your emotions
to get people to do what you want.
Have you intentionally made someone feel guilty
just to get your way?
Expressing your emotions can be great
for your mental health.
Appropriate self-expression
facilitates open communication
and prevents many resentments.
However, unleashing your emotions becomes destructive
when you use it to manipulate another person.
This may include impulsive shouting or screaming,
using threats or ultimatums,
blaming them for fights you started,
or using information they've
told you in confidence against them
to maintain control and power.
Number seven, you use silence as a weapon.
Are you the type who deals with conflict
by shutting down
and running the other direction?
Have you ever used the silent treatment on others
to get what you want?
Emotional withholding,
a form of emotional abuse that involves
using affection, validation, love and praise,
against someone is a form of emotional abuse
that includes what you might know as
the silent treatment.
Although it's normal for any relationship
to go through periods of silence,
it may become abusive when you start to use it
as a way to punish, control, or manipulate.
Withholding affection or positive emotion
through the silent treatment
is a toxic way to gain
the upper hand in any relationship.
This also includes talking
to everyone about the issue,
except the other person involved
or wanting the other person
to feel bad or guilty.
Do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here?
If so, what do you plan to do next?
Tell us in the comments below.
If you find this video insightful,
please like and share it with others
who may benefit from it.
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All the references used
are also added in the description box below.
Thank you for watching
and we'll see you in our next video.