My dear elegant ladies, welcome back to another video.
Today's topic is all about how to remain calm and ladylike.
And if you watch until the end of the video,
you will find out my personal strategy on how I don't lose my temper.
So stay tuned.
There is nothing that is more ladylike than a composed woman who can regulate
her own emotions.
There isn't very much attractive about a person and especially,
about a woman who becomes aggressive, who is shouting,
who is filled with attitude, and it's just all about drama. Very,
very unattractive,
not ladylike and the big turnoff for men. You must always remain calm whenever =
a person is rude, aggressive,
attacking you or if a person is testing your patience,
or sometimes just the situation can be testing your patience.
These are the type of situations that I'm referring to throughout this video
when you really have to focus on staying calm and act like a lady.
So then you might wonder, "But Anna,I'm just a human. We have emotions.
We feel obsessed sometimes.
How can we let it out and when is it appropriate?" Of course,
we need to let our aggressiveness out sometimes,
which is why physical exercise is quite good and particularly kickboxing.
But ladies, of course, you can be yourself from time to time.
But the whole point of being yourself and being a lady is that you do with
behind closed doors.
Yes, you can maybe with your closest friends or maybe your partner.
It's okay to let your hair down and be a little bit more yourself and more
emotional than I really would advise you to be in the public eye.
So think about that, learn how to regulate yourself.
And I'm going now to give you the tips. There's a lot of tips here ladies,
but I actually want to start talking about mindfulness and meditation.
And before you switch off this video,
because I'm sure a lot of you are fed up of listening to these type of tips
because you are probably switching off by now.
But please bear with me because this is exactly what I did and I really want you
to know what has worked for me,
because I know that it can really work for you as well.
I don't remember even how many years ago this was now,
but I went to a silent retreat. It's called Vipassana Silent Retreat.
It's a 10-day retreat where you meditate for 10 hours a day and you live in silence.
And the whole purpose is to just work on yourself, your issues,
and to be present with yourself and your own mind. Now that was a big,
big change for me and people always have asked me,
so what did you get away from those 10 days?
And I always say that one thing that can tell you that it really did change me
is that I became so much calmer afterwards.
Meditation and mindfulness, it really does calm a person.
The reason for that is the whole practice is based upon acknowledging
your emotions and not acting on it. Whatever you do,
when you're sitting down and meditating,
that's what you're practicing over and over and over again for hours and hours.
So obviously ladies,
you are going to learn how to control your emotions after that.
Not necessarily fully because like I said,
we are still humans and sometimes we can get heated and sometimes we don't think, right?
But if you practice mindfulness on a very regular basis,
you end up becoming an observant of emotions,
rather than acting all in immediately and don't think twice.
Now the next thing that I did, and again, some of you will also be like
My dear, elegant ladies, please listen carefully.
Therapy has been a lifesaver for me.
Of course, together with my spiritual work, like the meditation,
it has just been amazing personal self-growth, right?
And therapy has really,
really helped me become more aware of myself and that's the whole purpose of therapy.
You work with your own self-awareness.
So combining that with meditation,
you really start taking a step down. You become more observant,
you become less impulsive,
and that is crucial base if you want to master this,
if you want to become more calm, more lady like more composed.
You need to start learning and practicing how to regulate your own emotions.
Number three is a tip of mine that I still do because I'm not always calm,
even though I have gone a very long way from the person that I used to be
10 years ago. But whenever you feel a heated situation is coming,
I can tell you that taking a deep breath in and out maybe a few times if needed
is so, so, so, so powerful. Because first of all,
the whole importance that I spoke about with mindfulness and the therapy is that
you pause for a second. So just observe before you take any action.
And that is the whole purpose of also taking a deep breath in
and out. It feels good. You don't care anymore.
Seriously, it's that easy, not always but it does help.
It actually does help you ground.
So whenever you feel like you are going to become carried away in your emotions,
take a deep breath in and out and then,
you allow yourself a little pause to just gather yourself,
gather your emotions,
no need to shoot off on the rocket and just go and attack the other person
who just upset you. So ladies, that is the fundamental.
But we're not over yet because one of the things that has really worked for me
as well is in the moment, instead of responding,
instead of going all in on the emotions,
ask yourself before you do anything. Is it really worth it?
What am I going to get out of this?
Is it really worth this kind of instant relief of my own emotions of my own
splurging out and losing my face,
and embarrassing myself and reaching a low level like that other person?
Is it really, really, really worth it for you?
I started thinking about that a lot as soon as I start feeling that, okay,
somebody is upsetting me right now and no,
it's not worth it.
And that has always motivated me to just take a deep breath in,
acknowledge what it is that makes me upset,
work a little bit with my own self -awareness and just observe my emotions and
what I feel. And when you observe,
you actually start seeing that these emotions start dissolving themselves.
They're very,
very intense in the beginning when they joined forces with your body.
But then when you're just observing them, they slowly, slowly,
slowly dissolve when you're not judging them, when you're not acting upon them.
Because we are actually very good on acting upon them,
on adding some spice to them when they just become worse,
like adding fuel to a fire.
There are some times situations where whoever the attacker is,
whatever the noise is that is bothersome for us,
we are not able to switch it off. And that noise, that person,
whoever it is,
might be really agitating us to the point that we hearing the noise.
We're hearing what they're saying and it's just pumping up our blood,
pumping up our heart and adrenaline,
and all we want to do is to go back to attack.
So what do we do then if we cannot make that person to stay quiet?
Because oftentimes, when we react, we do it so we quiet the person.
But the whole thing here is not to act,
is to just observe really and maybe give a normal response,
rather than an emotional response or dramatic response.
Practicing how to switch off your hearing so you're there,
you're acknowledging the person so the person calms down soon if they feel heard,
but you're just thinking about something else.
You're there but you're not listening to what they're saying.
You're shifting your own focus onto something else, maybe to a happy place.
That really helps because you're not adding fuel to the situation.
You're not losing your face. You're not reacting, really. Although,
sometimes actually, this type of behavior can really trigger an angry person.
But as long as you remain calm and ladylike, that's your biggest mission.
I think, a lot of the times,
people have the strong need to validate themselves by giving a reaction to things.
And it takes a lot of, I would say self-esteem maybe,
or self-confidence to raise above the strong need for validation.
Because once you are above that need of validation of like proving them wrong or
having the last word said, it doesn't matter so much,
you don't care.
That's when you set yourself free and that's when people can embarrass
themselves, left, right and center around you. But you are just there,
calm, normal,
chill, ladylike. And I think,
the whole purpose of an elegant transformation is that we want to reach that level.
But if you do have a personality that maybe turns into a little bit of
drama queen or aggressive queen,
then it can be worth thinking about how you can learn to regulate your emotions
by not always allowing them to take control over you.
In my elite finishing school, this is what we practice on a continuous basis.
So if you want to join us, you visit.
www.SchoolOfAffluence.com.
Now ladies,
there is a video that you must watch after this one.
It is How To Respond To Rudeness In An Elegant Way.
I think that video and this video really goes hand in hand.
So make sure you jump over there now because that will see you there.