hey guy welcome back to I think it's
Thursday but does it really matter if
I'm wrong um so it's been a while since
I've talked about a bad movie on this
channel the reason being I haven't
watched it after my Christmas movie
marathon I realized the best bad movies
are the ones that I find on accident so
I stopped seeking them out I decided if
I was gonna discover one it was gonna
happen organically so a couple months
ago and I started listening to Lauren
lapkus and Nicole Byers podcasts
newcomers where they watched all the
Star Wars movies for the first time and
then talked about how weird it is to
watch all the Star Wars movies for the
first time it made me want to watch all
the Star Wars movies for like the tenth
time so we did and it got a man and I'm
wondering what other movies Hayden
Christensen has been in because unlike
his to much more famous co-stars he kind
of disappeared after Revenge of the Sith
I mean yeah he did burn to a crisp at
the end but hey throw him in a rom-com
or something then randomly one day when
Amanda's co-worker recommended that we
watched a little Italy a movie starring
Anakin Skywalker Emma Roberts and also
this is the poster we knew we had to
stop what we were doing and watch it
immediately warning before we start
there is so much pizza in this movie
that it is almost impossible to watch
without wanting to order one yourself as
you'll see later on we did something to
keep in mind maybe just go ahead and
order one now get it over with
oh wait I'm sorry I know it sounds like
I'm like sponsored by pizza I'm not it's
just my brain it's very dumb and when I
see food on television I have to have it
so I'm just giving you a fair warning in
case that happens to you as well so with
that in mind grab a slice pack your bags
because we are taking a trip to Little
Italy hold on sorry not that one
that's right this movie is not filmed in
Italy or even in New York it was filmed
in Toronto now despite having the script
and overall feeling of a made-for-tv
hallmark movie Little Italy actually had
an international theatrical release
where it earned a whopping 17 percent of
the money that it cost to make the move
in fact just one month after it was
released it was already only being shown
in seven theaters worldwide
yikes let's play a game imagine if you
will a person now I want you to pick one
of the characteristics of this person
their ethnicity a personality trait
whatever it is I want you to imagine
that there is a slider you can adjust
that dictates how much of that thing
this person is now go ahead and turn
that slider all the way up to a hundred
and you've just created every character
in this movie this doesn't just go for
all the Italian characters who are of
course the most Italian someone can be
but the only black character in this
movie is you guessed it a sassy lady
don't change your plans for no man and
if I told you that this character who is
played by an actor who in real life
talks like this I play a lead guitar and
sing couple of songs as well would you
be surprised to learn that that's not
how he sounds in the movie how sacred in
India I can't believe this came out two
years ago speaking of accents our
beloved Hayden Christensen made the bold
choice of giving his character an
Italian accent despite the fact that
they don't live in Italy they live in
Canada Romeo and Juliet died that's not
old you handle my ass his co-star Emma
Roberts doesn't have an accent
so why does he when they show scenes of
him as a kid he doesn't have an accent
but then ten years in Toronto later and
suddenly he sounds like if spaghetti
could talk but what's so beautiful about
this is not the accent itself but rather
his total inability to maintain it
throughout the duration of the movie it
just completely disappears at some
points and then comes back on strong
when you least expect it how you doing
you think you handle my ass such as the
characters though who are cliche so many
of the lines seem to have been
plagiarized from an IMDB list of popular
movie quote you can take
the girl out of Little Italy but you
can't take Little Italy out of the girl
they also have this scene where they
just blatantly rip off Gordon Ramsay
memes you are a [ __ ] sandwich oil is a
garnish you've used so much the US Army
will invade the plate Wow
can you do that and if all of that
wasn't bad enough this is also the
horniest movie I have ever watched in my
life yeah there's a scene where Hayden's
character gets frisked by a cop and it
just goes on way too long Oh what have
you got here a six-pack oh no I'm sorry
that's my god were you breastfed there
anything in your pockets that might be
shark were hard or pokey in any way
there's a scene where they really focus
in on her taking her shoes off why are
you so dressed up your parents backyard
hike which it first just seems like a
random choice but then you realize it's
to set up this joke later on and the
toes breathe and that big tongue very
nice and how it makes sense but let's
rewind back to the beginning of the
movie so you can get an idea of the
actual plot so these two kids who aren't
cousins even though it very much seems
like they are have been in love forever
but then Nikki grows up and goes off to
culinary school while Hayden stays home
to make pizza her teacher sends her back
to Canada to get a work visa and also
create a new menu for her restaurant
that she's opening something we only see
her work on for like five seconds of the
entire movie she pretty much just gets
drunk and eats pizza the whole time and
things work out for her it's a really
solid lesson to learn which is that you
don't need to work hard to achieve your
goals you just need to fall in love in
the net
alright guys I gotta take off I know we
deliver I bet he does number two yeah so
that begins the whole movie of every
female character wanting to [ __ ] Hayden
Christensen at all time hey seriously
hey seriously give me my pizza be long
no no your pizza will be round taking
the war that guy already bought a pizza
here and it's gonna go buy another pizza
next door yeah meat gossip foil frickin
dirt what do you want to know you were
seeing an investment bank okay so yeah
they have sizable portfolio but not a
clue how to manage I was like so how's
the dick Bennett and what's dick like
out there is the same British dick
pretty good dick what is he doing you
hurt it works here you know why would
she know they're gone for five years so
you guys gonna introduce me to your
friends shall we take this outside oh
come on you can't be serious
oh you look pretty serious to me yeah I
look very serious man my kids what it's
like downpour torrential rain and
everyone from the bar just left the bar
yeah let's go outside to watch two drunk
people play soccer that's so many shots
she's had like ten jobs okay
[Music]
okay ladies
go jokey go giant Oh slug dog why does
he say that that's not even a topical
reference that was ten years ago
[Music]
let me explain what's happening so the
two families who used to own one joint
pizza shop together are now rivals they
had a big fight so they're always
messing with each other yesterday Vince
put curry powder in Sal's sauce Jessie
why is today so I smell like cat feel
good about it but they had the Indian
character say it so it's not racist
so today South spikes Vince's pizza with
the weed and now everyone is high and
doing the things that you do when you're
high which is you know go batshit insane
and dance around the room I'm more
accurate seeing where they've all been
drugged with marijuana is they're just
like sitting really quietly slowly
eating their pizza I like to move it
move it is not the anthem of hi people
morning yeah sure that's true best
friends do got all right pizza and he
has a pizza oven in his apartment is
really good was it just the appetizers
these are really good pizzas that's just
the appetizer which will I make the
pizza Garret the pizza together the most
romantic thing we could do was just the
appetizer
so while Leo and Nicky are courting each
other there's another subplot going on
where their grandparents are slowly
falling in love as well and as you can
see this part of the movie is pretty
riveting to watch matter you in every
scene where the main characters do
anything everybody else is watching them
and gluten clapping yay
main characters like they know their
NPCs in this story okay this is the one
and only time we see her actually doing
the things she's supposed to be doing
because that's why she went back home
and then quickly gets interrupted again
by hating dresses just when you thought
there might be a scene without Pizza
Pizza I had pizza for lunch and now for
dinner I love you Hayden Christensen
brought me some pizza
there'd be two different sausages I'd be
sucking on it wouldn't be a rom-com if
there wasn't a scene where they tried on
funny hats and glasses they get wet a
lot what but if you don't get wet how
are you gonna take your clothes yeah
this is the second time now they've had
to strip because they're closing away
both times voluntarily first they went
out in the [ __ ] rain then he just did
doughnuts because the fire extinguisher
was going on for another fire scene to
fire I drove the fire around in head
good news everyone they finally did it
they finally shagged no no no no this
time ended declined except I accepted
the face time is ending you ever thought
about leaving here MA leaving no no
never leaving little Italy
leaving home I could never leave this
small section in downtown Toronto yeah
they have this like Italian heritage
deeply rooted in their family and they
have no desire to leave Toronto and
visit Italy pretty pivotal scene in the
movie here the inevitable conflict that
sets up the third act Redemption arc
it's a rom-com they're all the same yeah
like you let me win last night oh this
scene ends with probably the best line
in the whole movie no there's a reason
why they call it Little Italy there's
nothing ever changes here what what does
that even mean now if for whatever
reason you thought this entire movie
wasn't leading up to a pizza competition
I'm sorry to break it to you but you are
just wrong that's exactly what happened
also the chef wants to make it so just
when there couldn't be enough gratuitous
sexuality in the movie they combined the
pizza competition
with a bikini contest they're just
simultaneously happening on the same
stage but hey that's Little Italy for
you
[Music]
why is the entire town so invested in
the lives of these seven people has her
bag got a bag packed ready to go taxi
waiting to get into taxi Vicki she's
gone there to the airport she's probably
halfway to Britain by he's already on
the plane it's been 12 seconds and if
for some reason you thought this movie
wasn't going to end with a chase scene
at an airport shame on you for not
seeing that coming up to the first woman
he sees Nicki oh you're just some
someone else
[Music]
in the writing room they go how can we
buy her more time yeah how do we stall
let's have her go through the TSA line
taking up one piece of jewelry at a time
oh it must be your watch sorry forgot
about my anklet Vicki don't go hi hit
the high ground Nikki the only thing I
want is you
she does a Jedi backflip under the top
the high ground Nikki
then she burns in lava becomes dirt okay
and everyone has now just stopped again
TSA screening has just stopped your
flight to catch the main characters are
talking everybody looking listen all
this time you never said anything and
now that I'm about to get on a plane you
finally find the words although some
words it's one word it's about time
what's it gonna be girls their
grandparents got married then now they
are technically cousins they're not
blood cousins but it's still like no
weird - it's a little bit - all in the
family but how would you explain to
people yeah we have the same
grandparents but it's not like that we
didn't start kissing until until
naturally we're cousins
as a kids when we were unrelated we
didn't do anything but then the moment
we became cousins that's when I started
having sex I liked it I'd watch it again
we did we watched it twice now the
second thing I still actually kind of
liked it if you want to watch a very
horny movie full of stereotypes and
you're hungry for pizza this is the
movie three years you handle my ass so
at this point you've probably worked up
quite an appetite and although I can't
offer you pizza I can't offer the next
best thing
hot dog hi I'm poorly-lit and I'm
founder and CEO of picture of hotdog
calm the world's quietest website last
month I asked you guys for suggestions
of what toppings to put on the now
world-famous Weiner and you had some
excellent ideas keep them coming
but for this month's edition I found it
hard not to agree with Sheila hot dog
needs sprinkles so I had my chef cook
exactly that and boy does it look tasty
you can find this delicious treat
alongside a handful of others only at
picture of hot calm a website I proudly
made using today's sponsor Squarespace
back before I outsource to my merch to a
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took on the task of handling all myself
using Squarespace to make my website
once a week I would spend an entire day
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Squarespace for sponsoring today's video
and supporting my channel in the process
you guys do end up making a website be
sure to send that to me on Twitter
because I'd much rather shout out some
independent creators as examples of what
a cool website can look like rather than
just using like the templates on their
homepage also you may have noticed there
is a fundraiser icon next to the video
due to everything that's going on right
now I wanted to try to use my platform
for more than just whatever it is I
normally do Direct Relief is a great
organization that is currently working
with manufacturers to provide personal
protective equipment for healthcare
workers which is one of the biggest
problems were facing right now there's
just simply not enough to go around I
know there's like a million charities
out there and it's kind of overwhelming
when they're all asking for help at the
same time but if you were looking to
donate to one just know that every
dollar that is spent on this fundraiser
I will be matching myself up to the goal
of ten thousand dollars so your donation
will essentially be double I'm excited
to see what good can come from this I've
never done one of these on YouTube but
I'm planning to do a few more of these
throughout the next couple of months
it'll probably be a different charity
every time just because there's a lot of
different aspects of this crisis and
different charities are focusing on
different things so I don't want to just
put all of my attention on one but for
now it's Direct Relief you can read more
about them at the link in the
description there's of course absolutely
no price
to donate I'm just putting this out
there for people who maybe we're looking
to donate and didn't know which
organization to donate to that's kind of
how I've been for the past month or so
that being said thank you for watching
be safe wash your hands and if you do
get pizza please mail me a slice thanks
bye