(electronic music)
- Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi. - Sweetie.
- Hey.
- Thank you so much for meeting me at work.
- Yeah, of course.
Are we all good?
- We are good to go, let's head on home.
- Yeah, let me just text my roommate,
and tell them that we are on our way.
- Are we doing your place or my place?
- Oh, uh we could do either.
- Oh, yeah, your place, my place,
whichever, yeah the, there's two apartments.
I can do either one.
- Great, me too.
- Doh, doh, doh, doh, doh.
Do you still have that mouse problem?
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Cool.
- The carbon monoxide leak just killed them all.
So, yeah, now we have rats.
- Ah.
- Yeah.
- Oh, okay.
So if you have rats at your place,
maybe we do--
- Oh, totally, totally.
- Sure. - Yeah.
Except that we've spent the last two nights
at your place. - Right.
- And I feel like we've never spent...
The night at my place.
- Totally, totally, totally, totally, totally.
- So we should--
- Let's see which one's farther away.
- Oh wow, they are equidistant from this very point.
Wow, that is unlikely, right?
- Yeah, you'd think one would be closer,
but they're the exact same.
- Yeah. (laughs)
- I just remembered something.
My roommate got in touch with me.
He cooked two full dinners and he couldn't eat them.
So they're just waiting at my apartment.
He said that we could have them.
- Wait, hold on, why can't he eat his own food?
- Emergency, he got called into work
at the Michelin-star restaurant where he cooks.
- Oh.
- Yeah. - Well this is a puzzler, huh?
(laughs) - What are we gonna do?
- Yeah. (laughs)
Oh, I have food at my place.
- What do you have?
- I have a Ziploc bag full of oats.
(laughs)
And some nasty bread.
- All right, well.
- Yeah.
- We both have food.
- Oh, man, what're we gonna do?
- Cool, cool, cool. - Yeah.
- Oh, what's the parking like at your spot?
- Oh, yeah, so the riots haven't stopped yet.
But if you just go like a coupla hundred blocks,
there is definitely like a spot or two just somewhere, so.
- Hell, yeah.
- Yeah, wait how's the parking at your place?
- It's pretty good at my spot.
- Oh, sure, but you have that new parking ordinance.
- Yes, there is a new parking ordinance.
The city actually pays you to park in my neighborhood
because all the available spots were a safety concern, so.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- No, I don't understand that.
- Yeah, it doesn't make sense.
- Oh, no.
Oh, I have to feed my cats.
- Oh, that's right.
How are they doing?
- Oh, yeah, terrible.
- Oh no.
- They're stress pooping everywhere ever
since they won oldest at the county fair.
- Ugh, oh, God, poor little guys.
- Yeah.
- Very cool that the county fair splits an award
between six cats.
- Oh, nope.
(meowing)
- Ah, another one.
- Seven. This stray just sort of wandered right
into the hole in my bedroom wall, so.
- Oh, the hole, the one that lets
in the freezing cold air from the dark alley
where your drunk scary neighbors yell all the time.
- That is the one.
- I know it well.
- Yeah, oh my God, but don't worry,
you can't hear those neighbors anymore.
No, no, no, they started like building this skyscraper
next door so you can't hear anything.
They're just like (imitates jackhammer drilling)
great, it's great.
(laughs)
Okay, all right, fine just,
fine, fuck it, we will go back to your apartment, okay?
Just fuck it, Jesus Christ, Brennan.
(sighs)
- Sweetie, I'm really sorry.
I never want to make you feel bad
about where you live.
I have a nice apartment, but that doesn't matter.
It's only fair that we spend the same amount
of time at both of our places, and I'm sorry.
Let's spend the night at your place.
- Thank you.
Really, I appreciate that.
- Do you still have that roommate
who flies into violent seizures
if he hears people having sex?
- Oh, yeah but he'll be on the porch selling bath salts
all night, and he's probably not even gonna hear us
over the sound of my cats blasting hot shit
all over your shoes.
And toothbrush.
- Rad, rad, rad, rad, rad, rad.
Hey, guys, this is Brennan from College Humor.
Click here to subscribe.
Click here for more fun stuff.
And please keep watching because if you stop watching,
I start to vanish.
Do you get it?
I'm not really real, I'm just a thing on your screen.
Don't forget me!