- Ow!
(pained groans)
- You must be Julie from December.
- Happy holidays, bitches.
- Okay, let's just do this.
- Do you want some of this first?
- What is it, wine?
- Mulled wine.
Put a lil' something special in there.
- Yeah. That's usually how mulled wine works.
No, I'm fine, thank you.
- Your funeral.
- What?
- Relax!
It's just a saying! - Okay.
It's just, I just feel like
you maybe shouldn't be making those types
of jokes right now. - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Somebody is uptight!
I didn't know I'd be walking in here to so much attitude!
- Well yeah!
It's been kind of a tough year and I
I'd just like to get this over with,
so if you could just start.
- (scoffs) Like that!
- Yeah! Just like that.
Yeah. You asked me good news or bad news.
- Well, I don't think I really want to anymore.
- What?
- Well, I just come in, I get-,
you're jumping down my throat.
I just got here.
You didn't even ask how I am.
- That's not how this works.
- Well, a little courtesy could go a long way.
It is the season of giving.
- Okay,
how are you?
- Not good. - Oh God, okay.
What is happening?
- Well, you ever heard of a monolith?
- No, no, I've literally never heard
of that word in my life. - Oh my God, get ready.
You're about to be so invested in one.
- I am?
- Yeah, 'cause it's there and then it's not there.
Nobody knows where it went.
- Okay. I gotta be honest.
That doesn't that doesn't sound that bad.
- Do you play chess?
- A little.
Yeah. Well, you know I do.
I'm just not good at it.
(oinking noise) - Loser.
- What do you mean loser?
I'm, you're the loser too.
- Alright, you just want to brush up
on your Sicilian defense, okay?
- Okay, that doesn't sound too bad.
That actually sounds fun.
- No, it's not fun.
It's not, everything is going wrong.
Everything is bad.
- Oh, is it with the American election?
Oh my God, what is happening down there?
- Oh the States? The States is.. they're.. they're.
They're doing them.
It's scary.
They're going to figure it out or they won't
but they're doing the States.
- Oh, but so that's not the reason why you're upset.
- No, it's not.
- Is it the pandemic?
Oh, it's the second wave.
Oh my God, people are locked down
and it's record numbers, isn't it.
- Yeah, that's all happening.
- How bad is it?
- Well, it might be the worst collective winter
in our lifetime, but
a vaccine is coming out
and people are already getting it, so-
- What? What?
(stammers)
There's a light at the end of the tunnel.
- I guess.
- What? You guess?
That's great news!
- Well. - Oh my God!
This is all going to be over soon!
Why aren't you happy?
That's the first piece of good news
we've had in ages and you're miserable!
- Because this is the end.
- What? - Don't you get it?
This gravy train is leaving the station.
- Whoa, wait, what?
- We have sucked this cash cow's teats,
and old Bessie's running dry.
- Okay, that's a really gross image.
- I hope you brought your parachute
because we're about to nosedive into obscurity!
- Wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight.
You're upset because as the world collectively gets better,
you don't get to make these videos anymore.
- This might be the last one.
And I, then I won't have anyone to visit me.
- Okay, I'm going to ignore how selfish
and ridiculous that sounds.
And we're going to cheers to an end of 2020
and finally a little good news.
- Whatever! - Oh, come on.
You're going to be okay.
You should be relieved!
We don't have to make one of these videos again
- But we could.
We could maybe, we could make another one
where somebody just comes to say hi to me.
- Okay, we're not going to make this video again
so someone can visit you.
- We could though.
- I hope we don't.
- Or what if the, what if it's,
what if there's really bad news?
What if something really bad happens?
- I guess if, if there's bad enough news,
yes, maybe.
- Okay, so fingers crossed.
- No, you can't say that.
- Oh right, of course.
- Cheers.
- Cheers. - To the end of 2020.
- And good riddance.
- Oh, you did put something in there.
Is it... it's just hard alcohol.
Okay, that explains a lot.