-Welcome back.
I want to talk about "Secret Life."
-I like this. -You do?
-Yeah.
-It's something different, right?
-I like it. -Thank you, I appreciate that.
-You're like Bruce Willis. -Thank you.
You look good, too.
There's something different about you.
-Taller. [ Laughter ]
-Are you sure? -Yeah, look at it.
-Oh, my God. -It's a boot.
I got on a boot. -Oh, okay.
Oh, that's what it is, yeah. -Yeah, I put on a boot.
-You got to put on a boot. You got a little rise there.
-Like 5'4 1/2". -Wow! 5'4 1/2".
That's fantastic. -Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about.
[ Laughter ]
-Thank you for being here,
because I wanted to talk to you about something.
You recently had an injury that I was very concerned --
[ Both laugh ]
I was very -- I was very concerned about.
Oh, my goodness. You fell --
-What a jerk. [ Laughter ]
Go ahead. -You feel --
Oh, I feel -- I hope you're okay.
-No, you're talking about my fall?
-Oh, yeah. -Yeah.
-I saw it.
What happened? It was very slippery?
-Here's what happened, okay?
And I'm gonna be honest. -Okay.
-I'm gonna be honest with you, 'cause you deserve the truth.
-Thank you. Thank you.
-I'm at a wedding. And it's a close friend of mine.
And I feel like it's my job as a friend
to make sure that this wedding gets to the next level of fun.
-That's a good friend. -Okay?
The reason why is, because it started to rain
on my friend's day.
And I saw my friend getting a little sad.
He's like, "Man, I wish the weather wasn't like this
because everything is outside."
I said, "Don't worry about it. I got you, okay?"
So, my song came on, a song that I love,
and I said, "You know what I'ma do?
I'ma hit him with the heel-toe hop."
That's my move. [ Laughter ]
That's my dance move. It's called the heel-toe hop.
I've been doing it for years.
The world knows that this is my move.
My wife said, "Babe, don't do it."
I said, "You need to back up and stop being fun police."
I said, "Back up."
-"Don't ruin my friend's wedding."
-No, my wife is 100% the fun police.
Like, when I'm having fun -- [ Imitates siren wailing ]
[ Laughter ]
100% -- -Fun police show up and...
-"Pull over. You're having too much fun."
[ Laughter ]
I was like, "Back up, back up." -Yeah.
-"I know what I'm doing. I'm about to set it off.
I'm about to hit 'em with the heel-toe hop."
[ Laughter ]
She was like, "You need to be careful."
I said, "Just count me down!" That's what I said.
[ Laughter ]
"3, 2, 1." -...2, 1.
-I go, "Heel-toe hop."
And you could tell I was comfortable
because I had my hand -- one hand was behind my back.
Now, normally, when I go to hop, I land, and I dip.
This time, I went to hop, whoop!
Both feet came off the ground. [ Laughter ]
Now, when you fall -- When you fall when you're older,
it's different from falling when you're younger.
Like, young -- When you young and you fall...
[ Laughing ] -Right.
-My life flashed before my eyes. [ Laughter ]
I -- I thought I was about to die.
[ Laughter ]
I said, "I'm about to break something."
-Yeah. -"And here it comes."
And when I hit the ground, I realized how -- how --
how my friends are not my friends.
Like, like, you know, there's nobody that's coming to help me.
Everybody just had they phones out,
and I was like, "Put the phones up!
I can't feel my hip." And I got back up, man,
and I saw the bottom of my shoes, the heels were off.
I had on defective shoes, Jimmy. -Oh, my gosh.
-Defective shoes. It wasn't me, it was the shoes.
-It was the shoe that did this. -The shoes.
My heels came off. -The good news is that we can
watch it right now and decide what it was because we have --
-Well, wait a second. [ Laughter ]
I didn't know -- [ Cheers and applause ]
-Here's the clip. Here's the moment that you fell.
This is at a wedding, so someone had to tape it, but watch this.
-Go, Kev!
-Hey! -Whoa!
-Hey! Hey!
Hey! [ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ] [ Cymbals crashing ]
-All right. All right, Quest.
-[ Laughing ] [ Sad trombone ]
-How many times you gonna hit the cymbals, Quest?
[ Laughter ]
I heard you hit it the first two times.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, man, that is really funny.
-Did you see my hand behind my back, though?
-But you were funny. -Uncomfortable!
-And you're the life of the party.
-Well, you don't hit a heel-toe hop
if you're not comfortable. It had to be the shoes.
It had to be. -It had to be the shoes.
-It had to be!
-And here's your friends after you fell down.
This is what they did.
They're all pointing at you and laughing.
-Yeah, yeah. -There's no one helping you up.
-Yeah. -No one helped you up at all.
-Yeah, yeah. -These are some good friends.
-Yeah. -That's some good friends.
-You know the funny thing?
I want you to show this picture when all my black friends say,
"Why you don't hang out with black people no more?"
I want you to show this, okay? [ Laughter ]
'Cause I'ma tell you what white people would've did.
They would've helped me up. [ Laughter ]
White people would've helped me up.
-I would've been right there for you, dude, absolutely.
-"Are you okay, Kevin? Come on, Kevin.
You gotta get up, get up." -Oh, my God.
[ Laughter ] Oh, God.
-"The floor is cold, Kevin. Get up."
[ Laughter ] -Oh, my God!
"The floor is cold, Kevin. Get up."
-[ Laughs ] -"Come on, buddy."
-"You're gonna get sick on that floor, Kevin."
[ Laughter ]
-Who was helping you up, Bob Dylan?
[ Laughter ]
"You got to get up, man!
You got to get up off the floor."
[ Laughter ]
Dude, you got to be careful,
because you are a national treasure...
-Yeah, yeah. -...and we love you,
and we need you to be 100%. -Yes, yes.
[ Cheers and applause ]
I'm okay. I'm okay now.
-'Cause you're about to turn 40, and that's a big deal.
-I am, man. I'm about to be 40 years old.
40 years old.
-Yeah, I remember those years. -No, yeah.
I mean, you know, this is big for me.
Because I've always had the feeling that I'm just young.
I feel young, I feel good, and it's a mind-set.
But I can feel it. I can feel 40.
Like, when I get up, it's different.
Sitting down is different.
[ Laughter ]
You know, stairs. -Sitting down is different?
-Yeah, yeah. -There's now an audible sound.
-Yeah, you guys didn't see -- -You sit down, I go like --
-Y'all didn't see when I sat down just now.
I was like, "Yeah..." -Ugh!
[ Laughter ] That sound comes out.
-Yeah, you got a mini conversation with yourself.
But I'ma do a big bash.
I'ma do something real big, though.
-Yeah. -I'ma do something real big.
-Will you do something safe just for me, please?
-The heel-toe hop is happening.
-Okay, either way, that's happening.
All right, all right. That will happen, either way.
[ Cheers and applause ]