On that day... humanity received a grim reminder...
That this scene has been parodied so much that no one can take it seriously anymore.
*GASP!*
Eren: The titans are gonna eat us cause we're cattle!
Mikasa: But we have walls.
Hannes: And there's NO way they can break through the front door!
*panicked screaming*
*panicked screaming in the distance*
Hannes: Probably.
Eren: Oh god, We've gotta save Mom!
Carla: Eren, put your back into it!
Hannes: Have no fear, I'm 'ere to save the day!
Carla: Hans! Thank God! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ
Carla: Alright... I need you to help Eren-
Hannes: FUCKING RUUUUUUN. ರ_ರ
Carla: Hans, what the FUCK? ¬_¬
Eren: HANNES, MY MOM. ｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡
Hannes: Fuck yo mom! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Carla: Fuck YOU, Hans! ಠ╭╮ಠ
Eren: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)
Gigguk: Oh GOD, this is not what I thought when I clicked this link!
*Gigguk nanananas Guren no Yumiya until...*
Gigguk: Nailed it (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞.
Mikasa: Eren, how are you feeling?
Eren: From this day I swear, I'm gonna kill every last TITAN. ｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡
Eren: But NOT before I dance on their graves.
Eren: When I'm SHOWERING in the blood of ALL the titans I've massacred...
THEY WILL KNOW THE NAME.
Eren: Every last damn one out of their FUCKING demise, I will...
Mikasa: Is he still going?
Armin: Yup.
Eren: EVERY TITAN WILL DIE AT MY HAND.
Armin: JESUS, EREN, IT'S BEEN TWO FUCKING YEARS;
Armin: SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Thomas: So...
do you like titans?
Mikasa: Oh my god.
Eren: ...ALL. FUCK THEM ALL. I WILL NEVER SUBMIT.
Keith: Welcome to Military School!
Keith: All this training will probably be useless
because 90% of you will die anyway!
Keith: Side characters, introduce yourselves!
Sasha: I'm an internet meme!
Annie: I've a GREAT ass when it's Titanic.
Connie: I'm gonna be forgotten!
Marco: I'm going to be alive!
(ಥ﹏ಥ)
Gigguk: TOO SOON!
Jean: Well, I'M going to be an actual interesting character-
Eren: Shut up Gene, or JEAN!
Eren: Come back when you're a main character!
*sad music*
Jean: Hey! Hold on a second!
Jean: I have screen time!
Marco: Don't listen to him!
Marco: You're MY main character.
Jean: Shut up, Marco!
Jean: Come back when you're not a disposable character.
*sad music from earlier*
Gigguk: TOO SOON!
Keith: Congratulations on graduating,
you're now officially certified cannon fodder!
Eren: I now have ALL the weapons I need to kill the titans.
Mikasa: Actually, last time I checked, Edge isn't actually a weapon.
Eren: Don't listen to her! Those stupid titans don't stand a chance against me.
Brock Lesnar Titan: Why don't you say that again to my face, you little BITCH?
Kitz: The titans have INVADED!
Eren: LOOKS LIKE WE GET TO FIGHT TITANS.
Jean: I AM SLIGHTLY FRIGHTFUL AT THE THOUGHT OF FIGHTING TITANS.
Eren: I STRONGLY DISAGREE WITH YOUR SENTIMENT THERE.
Mikasa: WHY ARE WE ALL SHOUTING?
Eren: I DUNNO. ISN'T THIS HOW WERE SUPPOSED TO COMMUNICATE ON THIS SHOW?
Mikasa: WHAAAT?
*music drowns out the shouting*
Mikasa: WHAAAT?
Armin: GUYS, I JUST PISSED MYSELF.
(simultaenous screaming, baby)
POTATOE
Armin: What the FUCK? Everyone is DEAD!
Eren: Except for ME! Cause I'm the main-
Armin: Yeah, your boyfriend/brother is dead.
Mikasa: HEY. He's not my boyfriend!
Mikasa: ( ° ʖ °) Yet. ( ° ʖ °)
Armin: Gross.
Mikasa: Do you even know why he means so much to me?
Eren: Here, Mikasa. Have this dumb scarf!
Mikasa: OmigodIcantbelievehegavemeaSCARF!
Mikasa: Itsmellssogood!
Mikasa: AndmaybeifIwearitlongenoughhe'llnoticemeandonedaywe'llstartdating
andthengetmarriedandhaveabunchakidsand-- (squeal)
Eren: Do you like it?
Mikasa: Eh. It's alright.
Mikasa: That's right! What's the point of LIVING anymore?
Mikasa: Guys, did you see that titan? What do you think it could possibly be?
Connie: Eren.
Jean: Eren
Annie: Probably Eren.
Armin: Seriously, who else is it gonna be?
Mikasa: Oh, come on! That's way too obvi-
Armin: Oh, look. It's actually Eren.
Everyone: (dull surprise)
Mikasa: Fuck you all.
Kitz: YOU HAVE EXACTLY FIVE MINUTES TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF BEFORE WE BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT.
Eren: Armin, everyone thinks I'm now a threat to humanity.
It's up to YOU to convince them. I trust you'll know how to.
*Armin clears throat*
Armin: DON'T SHOOT, DICKHEAD.
Pixis: Maybe instead of KILLING our only hope, we should use him to plug up the wall!
Mikasa: That's a great plan, sir. You should probably tell everyone.
Pixis: RIGHTO, LISTEN UP.
Pixis: WE ARE GOING TO TAKE BACK THE WALL FROM THE TITANS...
Pixis: SO HEAR THIS PLAN.
Pixis: WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO... IS...
*inaudible shit*
Featured Extra: He does realize he's like 200 feet up now, right?
Pixis: TAKE THEIR LIVES... AND TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN...
Pixis: PRINCE OF BEL AIR STYLE. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ )
Featured Extra: Nope, he has absolutely no idea...
Pixis: BUT THAT IS THE PLAN.
Pixis: DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?
...( ⚆ _ ⚆ )...
whaaaat?
Pixis: Alright, did you catch all that?
Mikasa: Get Eren so triggered by his titan-self, that he punches himself
in the face.
Pixis: Yes!
Mikasa: Hey Eren, guess what...
Mikasa: YOU'RE A TITAN.
*Eren stupidly punches himself in the face*
*mock laughter*
Featured Extra #2: Do it... Do it again!
Ian: Ah wait, we should probably get him to carry the boulder.
Eren: *pant* Where am I?
Eren: Wait a minute... You're the...!
Erwin: Survey Corps.
Levi: Scouting Regimen.
Erwin: Scouting Legion.
Levi: Recon Corps.
Erwin: Whatever.
Levi: Yes, and I'm Captain Levi.
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ *fangirls screaming and jizzing in pleasure* (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Eren: Uh, what was that?
Levi: Ignore that.
Erwin: So, Eren. Remember this key which opens your basement that's gonna be a huuuuge plot point now?
Erwin: Wouldja mind telling us what's in it?
Eren: Yeah, I remember. My dad told me before.
Eren: Hey, dad! What's in our basement?
Grisha: Ah, sure thing son, it's called...
Grisha: GO READ THE FUCKING MANGA.
Levi: God dammit.
Erwin: Every bloody time.
Darius/The Godfather: Alright, in the trial of whether or not we should execute Eren Jaeger,
will both sides please state their cases?
Nile: Kill him!
Erwin: Don't fucking kill him. Please.
The Godfather: Compelling arguments!
The Godfather: How does the wall religion view this?
Nick: As a follower of the wall...
it is our believe that any foreign object will pose a great threat to us!
Nick: As foretold long ago by our founder and supreme prophet,
(^̮^) Lord Trump! ಠ_ಠ
The Modfather: Does the defendant have anything to say?
Eren (thinking): Okay, Eren. You can get through this the best way you know how.
Eren: DOES SHOUTING REALLY LOUD SOLVE MY PROBLEMS?
Eren: Yeah! (^̮^)
Levi: Stop. (；一_一)
Eren: Again! (~˘▾˘)~
Levi: Stop. ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ
Eren: oh baby yeah ლ(´ڡ`ლ)
Levi: STOP. ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
- Eren: oh that's so good (っ˘ڡ˘ς) - Levi: STOP.
Levi: Captain... Eren's enjoying it!
Erwin: Eren. Stop enjoying it.
Eren: ah! more, yeah! ♥‿♥
Levi: STAHP. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
Levi: EREN. ಠ~ಠ
Eren: oh!! ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
The Goodfather: Is this REALLY how the Fujoshis saw this scene?
Levi: Look, enough of this.
I propose that from now on that Eren will be supervised by me
privately, at all times.
Eren: OH GOD YES. ♥‿♥
Levi: God dammit. ب_ب
The Godfather: Sustained.
The Godfather: Under the notion that all fangirls now think that you have this weird dominatrix thing going on with each other.
Levi: Now that that's over, allow me to introduce my crew:
Dead 1
Dead 2
Dead 3
...and Petra.
Petra: I'm the only one everyone cares about because I'm a cute girl!
Eren: What about her?
Hange: TitAnS maKE mE HOrNy
Eren: Did I just hear that correctly?
Hange: Yes...
Levi: No.
Erwin: Enough of this!
Erwin: Survey Corps, head out!
Levi: But first....
WE CLEAN~
Eren: Oh god, seeing you clean makes me so wet~
Levi: What?
Eren: What?
*cue Indiana Jones theme*
Eren: Wait, how long are we gonna be riding on these horses?
Levi: Oh about 5 episodes or so.
Eren: WHAT.
Eren: How have we gone from years passing in a single episode...
to spending half an arc on a FUCKING horse?
Eren: What is this arc even about?
Titan Chow: That titan's got a nice ass...
*dies*
Eren: Aw, what the FUCK is that?!
Levi: Don't worry, Eren.
Levi: It's all part of Erwin's fail-safe plan.
Erwin: It's all part of Erwin's fail-safe plan.
Erwin: Mission success!
Erwin: Mission failed! (We'll get 'em next time!)
Erwin: Levi Squad, get 'er!
*cue A-Team theme*
*bodies hit the floor*
Eren: Oh no. Levi Squad. They're dead.
*screams horrified*
*dies*
Eren: PETRA, NO.
Gigguk: Nice punch, jackass!
Mikasa: Oh my god. Eren, can you STOP GETTING EATEN ALREADY?
Levi: Jesus Christ, do I have to do everything myself?
♥‿♥ *FANGIRL BERGINAS EXPLODE WHILE LEVI BEYBLADES* ♥‿♥
Levi: Well, I don't know about you, but I'd call this mission a complete bust.
Erwin: Just another day for the Survey Corps!
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ *Seinfeld theme* ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Erwin: ehehehehe
Levi: MY ENTIRE TEAM IS DEAD.
Erwin: I know we're all feeling a little bit down...
but we've figured out Annie is the female titan, even though it was blindingly obvious to everyone watching.
Even for blind people.
And I have an absolutely fool-proof plan to lure her into a trap.
Eren: What's the plan?
Eren: Annie, come with us, PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEASE.
Annie: No.
Eren: IT DIDN'T WORK.
Erwin: God... FUCKING dammit.
Armin: Eren, now would be a great time to get angry.
Eren (as Bruce Banner): That's my secret, Cap. I'm always angry.
Eren: *bites thumb* Agghhh... GOD, IT HURTS SO MUCH.
Armin: Was something supposed to happen?
Eren: I dunno, it just... sounded really cool in my head...
Eren: I'll give another shot...
Eren: *bites thumb again then sobs* ACK! IT HURTS EVEN MORE THIS TIME.
Armin: Eren, turn into a titan...
Eren: I'M TRYING, OKAY?
Armin: You're not trying HARD ENUFF...
Eren: WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!
Armin: OH GOD, EREN.
Armin: JUST SHUT UP AND GET IN THE GODDAMN TITAN.
*cue insert song*
Armin: Is it just me or does this looks like very forceful titan sex? (ง>ヮ<)ง
Jean: God, don't make it weird, Armin!
Titan Eren: Alright, Annie. I have you JUST you right where I want you!
Titan Eren: OH WTF IS THIS BULLSHIT. (◥▶Ĺ̯◀◤)
Titan Eren: HACKS. 乁(◥▶Д◀◤)ㄏ
Titan Eren: THAT'S FUCKING HAX. ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻
Mayor: Well, Erwin...
In a few days, you've cost hundred of lives,
years worth of collateral damage
and all you can show for is a prisoner we can't even touch now?
Mayor: Do you have anything to say?
Erwin: Just another day for the Survey Corps!
*Seinfeld theme, cast laughs* ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Eren: WHY DID YOU LET MY MOM DIE, YOU BASTARD?
Hannes: I'M SORRY, OKAY?
Hannes: I ONLY KNOW MY SECRET TECHNIQUE OF RUNNING AWAY.
Eren: DID YOU JUST MAKE A JOJOS REFERENCE?
Hannes: EREN, WHAT'RE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
Hannes: YOUR MOM JUST DIED. THIS IS NO TIME FOR A JOJOS REFERENCE.
Eren: THERE'S ALWAYS TIME FOR A JOJOS REFERENCE.
Hannes: ALRIGHT, OKAY?
Hannes: I WAS MAKING A JOJOS REFERENCE.
*BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN*
Eren (as Old Joe Joestar): OHHH NOOO. ¬_¬
Hannes (as Old Joe Joestar): OH! MY GOD! (>ლ)
*BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN*
Mikasa (thinking): What the FUCK is going on? --__--