- Hey, kids.
Today, we're gonna learn about the world.
♪ Welcome to the internet ♪
♪ Come and take a seat ♪
♪ Would you like to see the news ♪
♪ Or any famous women's feet ♪
♪ There's no need to panic ♪
♪ This isn't a test ♪
♪ Just nod or shake your head ♪
♪ And we'll do the rest ♪
♪ Welcome to the internet ♪
♪ What would you prefer ♪
♪ Would you like to fight for civil rights ♪
♪ Or tweet a racial slur ♪
♪ Be happy, be horny, be bursting with rage ♪
♪ We got a million different ways to engage ♪
♪ Welcome to the internet ♪
♪ Put your cares aside ♪
♪ Here's a tip for straining pasta ♪
♪ Here's a nine-year-old who died ♪
♪ We got movies, and doctors, and fantasy sports ♪
♪ And a bunch of colored pencil drawings ♪
♪ Of all the different characters ♪
♪ in Harry Potter fucking each other ♪
♪ Welcome to the internet ♪
♪ Hold on to your socks ♪
♪ 'Cause a random guy just kindly sent you ♪
♪ Photos of his cock ♪
♪ They are grainy and off-putting ♪
♪ He just sent you more ♪
♪ Don't act surprised ♪
♪ You know you like it, you whore ♪
♪ See a man beheaded, get offended, see a shrink ♪
♪ Show us pictures of your children ♪
♪ Tell us every thought you think ♪
♪ Start a rumor, buy a broom ♪
♪ Or send a death threat to a boomer ♪
♪ Or DM a girl and groom her ♪
♪ Do a Zoom or find a tumor in your ♪
♪ Here's a healthy breakfast option ♪
♪ You should kill your mom ♪
♪ Here's why women never fuck you ♪
♪ Here's how you can build a bomb ♪
♪ Which Power Ranger are you ♪
♪ Take this quirky quiz ♪
♪ Obama sent the immigrants to vaccinate your kids ♪
- With a lot of modern country music,
What is called "Stadium Country Music."
Sort of Keith Urban Brand of Country music
is that it is not honest,
it is the exact opposite of honest.
Where instead of people
actually telling their stories,
you got a bunch of millionaire metrosexuals
who've never done
a hard days work in their life,
but they figured out the words
and the phrases they can use
to pander to their audience,
and they list the same words
and phrases off
sort of Mad Libs style in every song,
raking in millions of dollars
from actual working class people!
You know the words,
you know the phrases, phrases like...
♪ A dirt road, a cold beer ♪
♪ A blue jeans, a red pickup ♪
♪ A rural noun, simple adjective ♪
♪ No shoes, no shirt ♪
♪ No Jews, you didn't hear that ♪
♪ Sort of a mental typo ♪
♪ I walk and talk like a field hand ♪
♪ But the boots I'm wearing cost three grand ♪
♪ I write songs about riding tractors ♪
♪ From the comfort of a private jet ♪
♪ I could sing in Mandarin ♪
♪ You'd still know I'm pandering ♪
♪ Huntin' deer and chasing trout ♪
♪ A Bud Light with the logo facing out ♪
♪ Hear that subtle mandolin ♪
♪ That's textbook panderin' ♪
♪ I own a private ranch that I rarely use ♪
♪ I don't like dirt ♪
- One verse, one chorus in the bag.
Now it's time to talk to the ladies.
I'm hoping my Southern charm
offsets all these rape-y vibes I'm puttin' out.
♪ Good girl in a straw hat ♪
♪ With her arms out in a corn field ♪
♪ That is a scarecrow ♪
♪ Thought that was a human woman, sorry ♪
♪ A cold night, a cold beer ♪
♪ A cold jeans, strike that last one ♪
♪ I'm wanting you, I hope you're feeling me ♪
♪ Sub-textually ♪
♪ We go to bed, you doze off ♪
♪ So I take your country girl clothes off ♪
♪ I put my hands on your body ♪
♪ It feels like hay, it's a fucking scarecrow again ♪
♪ Like Mike's Evander-ing ♪
♪ Fuck your ears, I'm pandering ♪
♪ I write songs for the people who do ♪
♪ Jobs in the towns that I'd never move to ♪
♪ Legalize gerry-mandering ♪
♪ Tolerate my pandering ♪
♪ You got a beautiful mouth ♪
♪ I got a beautiful ♪
♪ Y'all dumb motherfuckers want a key change ♪
♪ Thematically meandering ♪
♪ Emphatically pandering ♪
♪ I got a tight grip on my demo's balls ♪
♪ Say the word "truck" ♪
♪ They jizz in their overalls ♪
♪ You don't know what land you're in ♪
♪ I'm in the land of pandering ♪
♪ And I'll be upfront ♪
♪ I do what I do ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm a total fuckin' country boy ♪
- Hey, kids.
Today, we're gonna learn about the world.
♪ The world that's around us is pretty amazing ♪
♪ But how does it work ♪
♪ It must be complicated ♪
♪ The secret is the world can only work ♪
♪ When everything works together ♪
♪ A bee drinks from a flower ♪
♪ And leaves with its pollen ♪
♪ A squirrel in a tree spreads the seeds that have fallen ♪
♪ Everything works together ♪
♪ The biggest elephant, the littlest fly ♪
♪ The gophers underground, the birds in the sky ♪
♪ And every single cricket, every fish in the sea ♪
♪ Gives what they can and gets what they need ♪
♪ That is how the world works ♪
♪ From A to Zebra ♪
♪ To the worms in the dirt ♪
♪ That's how it works ♪
- Hey, everyone.
Look who stopped by to say, "hello."
- It's Socko.
- Hey!
- Where you been, Socko?
- I've been where I always am
when you're not wearing me on your hand.
In a frightening, liminal space between states of being.
Not quite dead, not quite alive.
It's similar to a constant state of sleep paralysis.
- Socko, we were just talking about the world
and how it works.
- Boy, that sounds complicated.
- Do you have anything you'd wanna teach us about the world?
- I wouldn't say anything that you
probably haven't already said yourself.
- I don't know about that, Socko.
How about you give it a try.
- All right.
♪ The simple narrative taught in every history class ♪
♪ Is demonstrably false and pedagogically classist ♪
♪ Don't you know the world is built with blood ♪
♪ And genocide and exploitation ♪
♪ The global network of capital essentially functions ♪
♪ To separate the worker from the means of production ♪
♪ And the FBI killed Martin Luther King ♪
♪ Private property's inherently theft ♪
♪ And neoliberal fascists are destroying the left ♪
♪ And every politician, every cop on the street ♪
♪ Protects the interests of the pedophilic corporate elite ♪
♪ That is how the world works ♪
♪ Really ♪
♪ That is how the world works ♪
♪ Genocide the Natives, say you got to it first ♪
♪ That's how it works ♪
- That's pretty intense.
- No shit.
- What can I do to help?
- Read a book or something, I don't know.
Just don't burden me
with the responsibility of educating you.
It's incredibly exhausting.
- I'm sorry, Socko.
I was just trying to become a better person.
This is a song from the perspective of God.
♪ The books you think I wrote are way too thick ♪
♪ Who needs a thousand metaphors ♪
♪ To figure out you shouldn't be a dick ♪
♪ And I don't watch you when you sleep ♪
♪ Surprisingly, I don't use my omnipotence ♪
♪ To be a fucking creep ♪
♪ You're not going to Heaven ♪
♪ Why the fuck would you think ♪
♪ I'd ever kick it with you ♪
♪ None of you are going to Heaven ♪
♪ There's a trillion aliens cooler than you ♪
♪ You shouldn't abstain from rape ♪
♪ Just 'cause you think that I want you to ♪
♪ You shouldn't rape ♪
♪ 'Cause rape is a fucked up thing to do ♪
♪ Pretty obvious, just don't fuckin' rape people ♪
♪ Didn't think I had to write that one down for ya' ♪
♪ I don't think masturbation is obscene ♪
♪ It's absolutely natural ♪
♪ And the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen ♪
♪ You make my job a living hell ♪
♪ I sent gays to fix overpopulation ♪
♪ And boy did that go well ♪
♪ You're not going to Heaven ♪
♪ Eat a thousand crackers, sing a million hymns ♪
♪ None of you are going to Heaven ♪
♪ You're not my children ♪
♪ You're a bad game of Sims ♪
♪ You shouldn't abstain from pork ♪
♪ Just 'cause you think that I want you to ♪
♪ You can eat pork ♪
♪ 'Cause why the fuck would I give a shit ♪
- I created the universe.
Do you think I'm drawing the line
at the fuckin' deli isle?
♪ You argue and you bicker, and you fight ♪
♪ Atheists and Catholics ♪
♪ Jews and Hindus argue day and night ♪
♪ Over what they think is true ♪
♪ But no one entertains the thought ♪
♪ That maybe God does not believe in you ♪
♪ You pray so badly for Heaven ♪
♪ Knowing any day might be the day that you die ♪
♪ But maybe life on Earth could be heaven ♪
♪ Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth the try ♪
♪ My love's the type of thing that you have to earn ♪
♪ And when you earn it, you won't need it ♪
♪ My love's the type of thing that you have to earn ♪
♪ When you earn it, you won't need it ♪
♪ I'm not gonna' you love ♪
♪ Just 'cause I know that you want me to ♪
♪ If you want love, then the love is gonna' come from you ♪
♪ Stunning 8K resolution meditation app ♪
♪ In honor of the revolution ♪
♪ It's half off at the GAP ♪
♪ Deadpool's self-awareness ♪
♪ Loving parents, harmless fun ♪
♪ The backlash to the backlash ♪
♪ To the thing that's just begun ♪
♪ There it is again ♪
♪ That funny feeling ♪
♪ There it is again ♪
♪ That funny feeling ♪
♪ The surgeon generals' pop-up shop, Robert Iger's face ♪
♪ Discount Etsy agitprop, Bugles' take on race ♪
♪ Female Colonel Sanders, easy answers, civil war ♪
♪ The whole world at your fingertips ♪
♪ The ocean at your door ♪
♪ The live-action Lion King, the Pepsi Halftime Show ♪
♪ 20,000 years of this, seven more to go ♪
♪ Carpool Karaoke, Steve Aoki, Logan Paul ♪
♪ A gift shop at the gun range ♪
♪ A mass shooting at the mall ♪
♪ There it is again ♪
♪ That funny feeling ♪
♪ There it is again ♪
♪ That funny feeling ♪
♪ Reading Pornhub's terms of service ♪
♪ Going for a drive ♪
♪ And obeying all the traffic laws ♪
♪ In Grand Theft Auto V ♪
♪ Full agoraphobic, losing focus, cover blown ♪
♪ A book on getting better hand-delivered by a drone ♪
♪ Total disassociation, fully out your mind ♪
♪ Googling "derealization," hating what you find ♪
♪ That unapparent summer air in early fall ♪
♪ The quiet comprehending of the ending of it all ♪
♪ There it is again ♪
♪ That funny feeling ♪
♪ There it is again ♪
♪ That funny feeling ♪
♪ Hey, what can you say ♪
♪ We were overdue ♪
(light upbeat music)