LADIES AND GENTLEMEN -- ADAM DRIVER.
♪♪♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
I'M SO HAPPY TO BE DOING THE FIRST SHOW OF 2020.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AND TO BE HONEST, I'M A LITTLE
SAD TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO 2019, BECAUSE I ACTED SO MUCH AND SO
HARD ALL YEAR. SERIOUSLY, I WAS YELLING, I WAS
CRYING, I PUNCHED, I SANG, ALL FOUR EMOTIONS.
AND PEOPLE ASSUME I'M JUST LIKE THE CHARACTERS I PLAY, REALLY
SERIOUS, PRIVATE INTIMIDATING GUY, ADAM FROM "GIRLS."
KYLO REN FROM SPACE ONE. I'M NOT AN INTENSE GUY, I'M JUST
REALLY CHILL. I'M JUST GOING TO BE MYSELF,
OPEN UP A BIT AND BE CHILL TONIGHT.
CAN WE GET SOME CHILL MUSIC? ♪♪♪
NO, NO, NO, I DON'T LIKE THAT. CAN YOU PLAY SOMETHING ELSE.
♪♪♪ OKAY, I LIKE THAT ONE LESS.
CAN YOU GO BACK TO THE FIRST ONE?
♪♪♪ OKAY, THAT'S GOOD.
YOU CAN HEAR THOSE BETTER, RIGHT?
>> OKAY. GOOD.
ANYWAYS, SO, I'M VERY CHILL. AND I'M JUST GOING TO PROVE IT,
I'M GOING TO TAKE MY TIME UP HERE, BE MYSELF AND ENJOY THIS
MOMENT. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> OH, THAT'S COOL. THAT'S LIKE A SUBWAY.
IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE GRAND CENTRAL?
IS GRAND CENTRAL A SUBWAY? I CAN'T TAKE THE TRAIN, I GET
MOBBED. THAT'S COOL.
I NEVER NOTICED THAT BEFORE. OKAY, NOW, I'M GROOVING ON THIS
MUSIC. I'M SORRY I JUST DIDN'T TRUST
YOU GUYS YET. ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU SOME
STUFF ABOUT ME. I'M A HUSBAND, AND A FATHER IN
THAT ORDER. I'VE BEEN VERY CLEAR WITH MY SON
ABOUT THAT, HE'S SECOND IN EVERYTHING.
I LIVE IN BROOKLYN. I CAN'T AFFORD MANHATTAN, SPENT
ALL MY MONEY. PEOPLE THINK I HATE RED CARPET
STUFF, AND I DO. BUT IT'S JUST CAUSE I'M BAD AT
SMILING. I LOOK LIKE A KIDNAPPED PERSON
TRYING TO SEND A MESSAGE WITH HIS EYES.
LOOK. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> SEE? WHAT ELSE.
OH YEAH, I SAW "LITTLE WOMEN." SPOILER ALERT, THERE'S NOT A
LITTLE WOMEN, THERE'S A LOT OF WOMEN.
I'M DOING DRY JANUARY, THAT MEANS YOU JUST DON'T TAKE A
BATH. IT'S NOT VERY HARD.
YOU KNOW, OTHER THINGS. I'M VERY APPROACHABLE.
I'LL JUST APPROACH AN AUDIENCE MEMBER.
HERE, MOVE. HI.
HEY, MAN. HEY, MAN.
YOU LOOK LIKE A STAR WARS FAN, NO OFFENSE.
HERE. HERE'S A SIGN RIGHT HERE,
KYLO REN ACTION FIGURE, CHOKING HAZARDS, SMALL PARTS NOT FOR
CHILDREN UNDER THREE. THAT'S JUST FOR YOU.
>> THANK YOU. >> YOU'RE WELCOME.
IF I FIND IT ON EBAY, I'LL KILL YOU.
THANKS FOR BEING A FAN. [ LAUGHTER ]
WHAT ELSE? YOU KNOW, I'M GOING TO BE HONEST
WITH YOU, I'M TRYING TO DRAG THIS OUT, BECAUSE THERE'S A
SKETCH AT THE END OF THE SHOW THAT I REALLY DON'T LIKE.
SO I'M HOPING IF THIS GOES LONG, IT WILL JUST GET CUT.
YEAH, SEE. I PLAY A WOMAN IN IT, AND I
CAN'T TELL IF IT'S TRANSPHOBIC OR JUST REALLY DATED.
OH, HERE'S SOMETHING. I WAS A MARINE BEFORE I WAS AN
ACTOR, ACTING IS A LOT LIKE BEING A MARINE.
YOU DO ONE MISSION THE WAY THEY PLANNED, AND THEN THE SERGEANT
SAYS JUST DO ONE FOR ONE AND THEN MAKE IT YOUR OWN.
I CAN'T SEE IT. I KNOW, I'M IN A MOVIE CALLED
"MARRIAGE STORY" WITH SCARLETT JOHANSSON.
I BASICALLY KISSED COLIN JOST, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT.
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT HALSEY IS HERE, SO
STICK AROUND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK