- Good day to you, Miss Cluckadoo.
(chickens clucking)
Might I examine your nesting box?
(Suzanne exclaiming)
An egg is a tiny miracle, isn't it?
It's life and life's sustenance all at once.
- Okay, why are you so happy?
Did you get some new meds? 'Cause I want some of those.
Unless they make you speedy, 'cause I'm just
speedy enough as it is.
- No, what you are seeing is the joy a person feels
when they single-handedly, through the power
of their own words, can turn the course
of another person's life.
- Oh!
- Look.
Look.
- "Dear Suzanne, thank you for being a bull-headed,
refuse-to-listen-to-reason pain in the ass."
(laughs)
"I think this book might actually help,
so I'm sending it to my lawyer"?
"I'm sorry I doubted you in the first place."
- "Your friend..."
Huh?
"Taystee."
- Wow.
That's really cool.
- Yeah, it turns out I'm a fixer.
Like Olivia Pope or Woodward and Berenstain Bear.
- [Lolly] Move chicken, chicken. Move.
(chickens clucking)
- Hmm, only three?
Yet we have 12 chickens, so it stands to reason
we should have closer to 12 eggs.
Give or take.
Ladies, gather around.
It appears we have our first chicken crisis.
- A foul fowl?
- Uh...
I'll allow it.
Now, why are our chickens not producing eggs?
- The eggs can get stuck inside the cloaca.
We could reach inside and grab the eggs out.
- Oh, maybe the chickens are eating their own eggs.
They're cannibal chickens. It happens, you know!
- It does, but we would see evidence of their abomination.
I'm not seeing pecked-out shells.
(Suzanne exclaims)
- [Alvarez] Ms Warren? Your solve?
- They need sunlight.
- Do chickens go through menopause?
'Cause we could make a test of their hormones.
- The coop is too dark and the yard, it's covered.
They need those harmful UVs.
- Vitamin D is vital for egg production.
- Mmm-hmm, yeah. The roof has gotta go.
- That would leave them vulnerable to predators.
- What? Hello? We're in a prison.
Do you not see that fence, with the barbed wire on top?
There's nothing coming in.
- Dragons!
- No.
- Shh.
- And, before you ask, they can't escape
because chickens can't fly.
(laughs)
- That's what they want you to think!
- All those in favor of opening the yard.
Well, that's not a majority but since it's the only
practical solution offered...
- See?
- Okay, okay, okay!
- I am a fixer!
- You're a fixer.
- A fixer.
- [Alvarez] That's 10 eggs.
A 233% improvement rate.
I have to say, this sunlight theory appears to have legs.
Or should I say, eggs?
- I'll allow it.
- Yeah?
- I think you both mean drumsticks.
- Either way, chicken crisis averted, thanks to you.
- [Suzanne] Thank you, thank you. What can I say,
when I look into their chicken faces,
I just understand them. I think it's because
I think of them as people.
- Chickens actually see substantially better than people.
They have two additional cones, they can see colors
we can't even dream of.
- Since one of the tenets of farm therapy is
that taking responsibility for creatures
other than yourself empowers you, Ms Warren,
you have earned the position of Mayor of, uh,
New Cluck City.
- What?
Oh! I'm gonna need a podium and two flags
flanking me at all times.
- New Cluck City? Nothing?
- It should have been me.
- Thank you. Thank you for your service.
Thank you. Oh...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Everything's-- Everything's changed.
The responsibility...
Before, my life was...
(exclaims)
And now my life is the mayor.
I promise to bring together this divided house of chickens.
I promise to fight for you.
And for every citizen in this coop,
I promise to ensure--
- Wait, wait, wait. Can I please...
May I please be your lieutenant?
- Yes.
You can.
- I can?
- Yes, you can!
Yes, you can!
- Yes, I can!
- Yes, you can!
(imitating chicken clucking)