Can the guilt of a relapse be helpful in a Porn Brain Reboot. I'm
Dr. Trish Leigh let me tell you how. Number one we're going to talk about
what happens after a relapse in your brain and the emotional correlates of what you're feeling. Number two we're going to talk about how you can use them to motivate you and
fire you up and keep you moving forward. Number three I'm going to give you one takeaway strategy to use today so you can make sure that relapse is worth it in the end. So stay tuned till the end for the brain tip strategy. Number one
can you use a relapse and the guilty feelings that you feel after to motivate you to continue to change? This is a question from someone dear to me in the 90 day
program and I wanted to get him an answer even though I emailed him. I wanted to get him a video answer and I think everyone else can benefit from it too. Because I know people bet themselves up after a relapse.
There is no loss in this journey. There's only win or learn. And if you learn from the relapse then it is a win. So guilt can be good. Guilt is the feeling that I've done something quote on quote bad. I've done something that I don't want to do. That can be motivating because if I
I mess up and do something I don't want to do. I immediately debrief myself. I've thought myself to pull myself away from whatever I'm doing. Sit down with myself get my journal out and write it down.
Why did I just act that way? It's about me. Why did I relapse in this case? Deconstruct it so in this case. This is the case for most people too. In this case, it is overworking. Working long shifts, working many shifts, and your brain gets tired. And hyperarousal, too much fast speed
because it's been go go going plus it's exhausted. Which means it's too much slow speed, overdrive, and exhausted. Burnout, overwhelmed and
so when your brain's in that mode. It needs something to take the edge off. So if you can build breaks in then you don't get to that hyperaroused mode.
You can keep yourself in check and this is the brain tip for the day. If you and this is number three. If you build breaks in it is easier to stay away from the relapse. So think about the days that you have. They have to be perfectly engaged not on overdrive or working too long.
Work 12, 13, 14-hour shifts. Many people are doing that. That is too long you have to take a break. Ideally, you're working 1 hour and 15 minutes, and you're taking at least a 15-minute break. Then you get your lunch and go do something that gets your brain down. Of course not watching porn. But something that is
dopamine-producing. Something that you love, something that you enjoy. You like sports check some sports scores. You're a Kriptonot like me, check the Kripto. See if it's going up, if it's not get off that app because it's only demoralizing.
If you enjoy shows, watch a quick movie clip. Do something that will give your brain some dopamine then go back to work. Stay perfectly engaged, stay out of hyperarousal. So that you can stay away from porn so that you don't have a relapse. So now say you do that. You work three 12 hour days and your just getting back up and going to work.
Work, sleep, repeat. That's not a life but if you're doing that then you have a relapse let that guilt move you towards progress. If shame sets in. Now shame is different. Shame is I am bad, I'm a bad person and unfortunately, many of us are taught shame around sexuality when we were young
were taught that being a human and being sexual is not a good thing. And were definitely taught not to talk about it. So when you realize I did something that I don't want to do.
But I'm still a great human being then you can use that fuel to move you forward and do things that you do want to do. So that you can. move towards a life with dignity and integrity.
And you have to get a small win. So now from that relapse, you say to yourself. I don't want to do that but I needed to because I put myself in this position when my brain was jaked up across the day. The learning
is I'm not going to let my brain get jacked up across the day. I'm going to give my brain breaks. I'm going to feed it some dopamine in a healthy way. And then if I'm really jonesing at the end of the day. What I'm going to do is give my brain a dopamine hit in a healthy way. it's going to be lower and your brains going to have to learn how to deal with that. But if you get a small win you can get over that hurdle
you can move forward. So in that case do something that takes the edge off that's healthy become the person who lives in dignity and integrity through your actions. So in this case you worked a couple of 12 hour days, you come home your exhausted
you pick up some food that you enjoy on the way home. So you're not eating cereal. Foods are very dopamine-producing for most people. Uhh, my husband got home late last night two nights ago very late, unfortunately. So I made uhh just this
chicken pasta dish with this lemon butter sauce or whatever. But he was eating it late so he said whatever this thing is it's a 9.9 out of 10. And he had a really long day but the fact that he came home
to a uhh you know beautiful meal. It was really dopamine-producing for him. If you like to play video games not that it's a great alternative but it's definitely a good cheat in the right direction
so play some video games. Let your system come down. If you like to watch tv then watch a little tv. Let the system come down. Take a shower, showers are very relaxing and dopamine-producing
for most people. Take a great bath with lavender essential oils. Those are healthy alternatives that then can help you to fall asleep. And to be able to get up and do it all over again the next day
while you add some breaks to stay out of hyperarousal. So yes you can learn from relapses. Most people are going to have to. This is a process it's not an event. It can be challenging up to
the front. But it gets easier with every small win. So just know if you do take the opportunity to learn from every relapse it becomes every single one of them as a win. And
when you approach it that way your framework shifts. Your like ok I didn't slip back, unfortunately, I did something I didn't want to do but I'm going to learn from it. So I can keep moving forward framework shifted for
yourself. You're the person who is succeeding at this you have to be that person because if you feel like your failing. You're going to be sucked back into it through shame. Use the feeling of guilt I don't want to do this to start
doing things that you do want to do. Stay the course get the small wins your brain will thank you. You will be so glad that you did. I will be here for you if you need me. Stay tuned on this channel
subscribe get the notifications. I have new videos coming out all the time and if you want support join me over at dr.trishleigh.com. I have a new program Porn Brain Reboot
it's all detailed on that website. It tells you everything that's involved and it's a beautiful site that explains it to you. And it's a non-profit organization. SO any purchase of any program all the investment goes back into the cause. So we can help people and heal some brains together. Uhh, one brain at a time. Alright and as always control your brain or it'll control you.