How long did it take you to get started and actually put things into practice?
It took at least six months.
And it didn't really kick off until I decided to move from Cambridge to London.
Where I was in Cambridge, everyone that knew me (which wasn't that many people, but I had
a few acquaintances and friends) they saw me as kind of a bum loser virgin guy that
I had always been.
And that creates an expectation of failure from everyone else and you can't change in
their presence.
That's my view.
It's very hard to go from an ugly, badly dressed, unconfident guy who sits in the corner and
doesn't say anything to being the life and soul of the party and being the cool James
Bond character or whatever you imagine if you stay in the same environment with the
same people.
They just won't let you do it because they want to keep you in that role.
And that's how it is.
So It took me moving and it took me starting starting fresh and then not knowing that I'd
only slept with one girl.
My flatmates in London and meeting lots of new people who gave me a chance and forcing
myself to be sociable immediately so that their first impression was good.
And that enabled me to create some kind of new identity where I was a yes man, always
trying new things, going out to saying yes to all the party invitations and meeting people
from the forums online like the pickup guys, going to salsa classes, going to weekend acting
class.
Anything that I thought about for a minute or two whether I should do it or not, I decided
to do it.
Moving was a key step.
I don't think I would have become a famous playboy living in my Mum's house in Cambridge
with my same friends that that bullied me at school.
So now you're out there, you're starting to put it into practice.
What was one of your first (that you can remember, it was such a long time ago) what was one
of your first moments where you go wow, this stuff is working.
The things that I'm practicing, the things that I'm learning, the abilities to be more
social, this is this is working.
Like it gave you even more fire to keep on going and push it further?
There were a lot of breakthroughs.
I remember in a coffee shop, actually that same Starbucks because there was a huge Starbucks
in Lester Square London.
It was just a great place to approach women and I talked to a group of three girls and
they stuck around and smiled and were laughing and stuff and I was like wow, this is this
is just crazy.
It felt like Jedi powers.
I've never seen girls standing and choosing to stay there and talk and seem to enjoy it.
Obviously like I just got terrified and made it an excuse to leave.
But that was a huge progress moment and then first everything.
First time kissing a girl that I've just met, first time getting a very pretty girls number,
first time getting compliments.
Just all of that.
So many firsts come in thick and fast.
And also a lot of failures and hard times as well.
Girls that I really liked and they'd meet me for a date and not want to meet again and
stuff like that.
But I'd always say well a few months ago, she wouldn't have even gone on a date with
me.
A few months ago, I wouldn't have even had five seconds with that girl.
A few months ago, I wouldn't have the balls to approach them.
I managed to refrain from the failures and stay positive and keep the progress moving
and I wasn't too focused on the end goal.
I was focused on just getting better and getting that incremental improvement.
And one of the things that I saw too fast forwards on into the future, guys that didn't
do as well were just focused on the end goal.
Like they were a virgin, they wanted to get laid, and they were disappointed anytime they
went out and didn't get laid.
And it's like dude, you're a virgin.
First be happy having a conversation, then be happy getting the number that flakes.
Then be happy getting a number that doesn't flake, then be happy getting a kiss.
Break it down into the steps and reward yourself for each step.
And I did that naturally and I think that's essential for anyone that wants to get better.
Yeah, I agree.
Again another parallel I was so focused on the journey without even trying because I
was so excited by the little incremental movements I was making.
I would get pumped by that.
I mean just similar to you, just getting that positive reaction from a girl that I never
thought I'd ever talk to and doing it all sober.
It was blowing my mind.
My mind just kept getting blown.
That sober thing was so funny back in the day.
It was like don't buy girls drinks, don't have any drinks, no alcohol.
And it was all because Mystery's dad was an alcoholic or something.
All these PUAs are going around drinking tap water in the bars.
So you had this motivation behind all these little wins and you were focused on the the
journey more and I assume you're seeing lots of success.
When was the moment for you when you said okay, I'm gonna quit what I'm doing (I don't
know what you were doing at the time) and then move into teaching it.
Where was that?
What happened during that part?
It was pretty soon, it was probably two months.
But the funny thing was I wasn't trying to become a coach, to make loads of money and
to charge as much as I could.
I was charging under $30 an hour from the beginning for one on one training.
And remember I had this immense theory knowledge and then I'd approached hundreds and hundreds
of girls over these two months.
And I was so dialed in that was actually a really good coach, especially for $30 an hour
even though I was sometimes training guys who had slept with way more women than and
should have been cooler.
They in any case didn't have the experience of doing daygame or whatever.
I would do these 12 hour one on ones, four or five times a week, take a guy out.
I had to demonstrate the first few approaches then he would do some stuff.
Later we'd do... he could get me to do something again in the nighttime.
And because of that intense focus on performing and on watching a guy and understanding what
works and what doesn't work, watching the woman he's talking to and seeing her reactions
and getting tuned into that, I got way better with women as well from coaching.
So that was a big step up and then in terms of the business it just scaled as I became
more popular, better known and could charge more.
Started doing the boot camps and different events, wrote the book and all of that stuff.
It just went from there.
It definitely didn't start with me thinking this is a great market to make some money.
It was really let me just see what... like I love this stuff, it's just so fascinating
for me so let me try and make it a job as well and that will force me to be even more
professional and even more dedicated.