Hila: Ethan, get up.
Ethan: Huh?
Ethan: I can't, dude, I'm stuck in bed.
Ethan: Ever since PewDiePie made that video about me
Pewdiepie: H3H3
Pewdiepie: Too many chins.
Ethan: Did you realize that I had so many chins?
Ethan: Uhhh... Hila, you should just leave me here dude
Ethan: I'm just gonna die here in the corner.
Hila: You should roast him back.
Ethan: Roast PewDiePie back?!
Ethan: The biggest YouTuber in the whole world?
Ethan: Mr. PewDiePie?
Ethan: You think I can roast him?
Hila: Yeah.
Ethan: You're God damn right I can roast him
Ethan: And he's going down, dude.
Ethan: PewDiePie, you think you're the shit.
Ethan: You're talking shit, you think you're dope
Ethan: Oh, I don't give a fuck, I'm edgy now.
Ethan: Well guess what, bitch?
Ethan: I've got my cancer suit on and I'm coming for you
Ethan: And guess what?
Ethan: I can also raise my voice like this and sound like a broke-ass Filthy Frank
Ethan: And I'm coming for your broke ass, dude.
*wheeze*
Ethan: So, PewDiePie wants to hang with the cool kids.
He wants to make roast videos and be dramatic.
Ethan: PewDiePie? More like PewDie-Boy.
Ethan: Because you look like a little boy without your beard, bitch.
Ethan: ROASTED
Ethan: Me and PewDiePie are best friends.
Ethan: We have made a collaboration together,
Ethan: We have talked in DMs for, like
Ethan: years.
Ethan: We've hung out at least 20 times.
Ethan: We are bros, and now all of a sudden he's going to drop a video like
Pewdiepie: Oh, Ethan's got chins.
Pewdiepie: Too many chins.
Ethan: And now, I'm coming for revenge.
Ethan: Hey PewDiePie, sorry to hear that your channel's really declining.
Ethan: Looks like you only got 200 million views this month.
Ethan: Your stats have tanked.
Ethan: Looks like the PewDiePie channel's on the way out.
Ethan: I guess I know why you're making exposed videos about me.
Ethan: ROASTED
Ethan: Oh and by the way
Ethan: Thanks for the opportunity to put PewDiePie in the title of my video
Ethan: I've never had that chance before.
Ethan: I really hope this video does well as a result of it, bitch.
Ethan: Roasting your ass
Fake Pewdiepie: Hey guys, I'm PewDiePie
Fake Pewdiepie: I talk like a broke-ass Filthy Frank plus South Park character
Ethan: That's not your real voice, dude
Ethan: You're a grown man, you're like 27
Ethan: Why you talking like a little baby, dude?
Ethan: Just 'cause it gets you 300 million views a month you think that it's cool?
Michael Jordan PSA: "It's time to stop."
Ethan: Hey PewDiePie
Ethan: What color's your hair these days?
Ethan: Oh it's blue? That's dope.
Ethan: How old are you? Oh you're a 27 year old man?
Ethan: This 27 literally year old man still dyes his hair blue?
Ethan: Can you say "mid-life crisis", PewDiePie?
Ethan: Fucking roasted, dawg.
*cough*
Ethan: How many chins do I have, PewDiePie?
Ethan: Too many chins?
Ethan: You're talking shit? Well, guess what?
Ethan: You're handsome, you're funny, you've got a huge YouTube channel
Ethan: There's literally nothing to criticise you for, bitch.
Ethan: Maybe I could say you're a little edgy
Ethan: But that's it.
Ethan: Roast- ROASTEEEED
Ethan: Let's take it to the DMs. That's right.
Ethan: Let's slide into the DMs, Felix
Ethan: See what you're hiding in there.
Ethan: Here, September 21st
PewDiePie. AKA Marina Joyce with a bukkake
Pewdiepie: "LOL, I'm jealous."
Ethan: Wow, wow.
Ethan: So this is the Felix we all know and love?
Ethan: Saying this kind of shit in DMs.
Ethan: Saying "lol I'm jealous".
Ethan: And then all of a sudden, 3 days later, talking shit about I have too many chins?
Ethan: Can you please get real, Felix?
Ethan: You've been so exposed right now.
Ethan: September 21st, same conversation.
Ethan: A smiley face.
Ethan: NO, Felix.
Ethan: You're such a hypocrite, dude.
Ethan: On one hand sending me a smiley face in DM and then talking about my chins?
Ethan: You're such a hypocrite, dude.
Ethan: You just got fucking... roasted.
Ethan: You just got fucking roasted to hell, dude.
Errrrrm...
Ethan: Sorry about all the drama.
Ethan: Just had to... Roast ya hard, buddy.
Ethan: Roasted.
*wheeze*
Ethan: PewDiePie. What's with this video "My New Car"?
Ethan: You made a really funny video and it got 25 million views.
Ethan: Good for you dude, I was really proud of you.
Ethan: That video was really good.
Ethan: Nice.
Ethan: You guys should watch that. It's a good video.
Pewdiepie: "Slammin'".
Ethan: But fuck that, dude.
Ethan: My best video has 10 million views and you're gonna crush me at my own game?
Ethan: I'm about to fall over again.
Ethan: You better fucking catch my leg, Hila.
Ethan: Hila, you're supposed to pull my leg, dude.
Hila: I tried!
Hila: Too many chins.
Ethan: I'm gonna roast you next.
Ethan: PewDiePie, you went out in public and you made a fool of yourself. You beat my at my own game.
Ethan: My best video has 10 million you got 25 million you didn't even do anything.
Ethan: Just drove around and ate some fucking bread and yelled at people
Ethan: and it was still funnier than mine.
Ethan: Maybe I need to go on twitter and change my handle to Rob Schneider.
Ethan: Maybe I need to change my handle to Jeff Dunham.
Ethan: My dream is to one day give as little fucks as PewDiePie.
Ethan: But until then...
YOU JUST GOT ROASTED (You just got fuckin' roasted, dawg)
Fake Pewdiepie: Hey guys, it's me, PewDiePie
Fake Pewdiepie: If you wanna go play some horror games...
Fake Pewdiepie: Do you guys wanna go play a part 1 of 200
Fake Pewdiepie: of happy wheels?
Roast ya hard, buddy.
Ethan: PewDiePie talks to cut-out boards of himself.
"Isn't that right, fake PewDiePie?"
"Yes"
He's insane. He talks to himself.
"Thanks for watching this video"
Ethan: PewDiePie licks toads and trips balls.
"He's really cool"
Ethan: PewDiePie thinks that there's fake PewDiePies after him.
"That ain't me."
Ethan: And, PewDiePie drinks his own urine.
*gagging*
Ethan: Is this somebody you want your children watching?
Ethan: I don't think so.
Roasted.
ROASTED ROASTED ROASTED ROASTED
"H3H3, too many chins"
"Too many chins"
"H3H3"
Serious Ethan: And... just in case anybody needed me to say it
Serious Ethan: Obviously I'm kidding.
Serious Ethan: I love Felix, he's a good friend of mine.
Serious Ethan: I really appreciate him roasting me and giving me the opportunity to make a video with his name in the title
Serious Ethan: That's an opportunity that I've never personally had
Serious Ethan: And I really look forward to clickbaiting him in the title, description and thumbnail
Serious Ethan: And I really hope that I get a chance to do it even more
Serious Ethan: Because, I mean
Serious Ethan: We could definitely use all the PewDiePie clickbait juice we can get.
Serious Ethan: Please respond. Please respond, Felix.
Serious Ethan: It helps us a lot, so please keep roasting me and giving me opportunity to keep clickbaiting you.
Serious Ethan: Erm, I appreciate you so much, Felix
Serious Ethan: It's been a joy, it's been a pleasure. Thanks for joining us.
Serious Ethan: And we'll most definitely... be seeing you next time.
Ta-ta.
*Music plays*