(Jonah knocking)
- Oh, God, what?
- Sorry to disturb you, ma'am.
- And yet you are disturbing me.
(intense orchestral music)
- Hey Jonah.
What's the news from the mountain top?
- The, uh, White House would like
for you to attend-- - Hang on just a second.
Can you, uh, do me there?
- [Amy] Doing you.
- What?
- The White House would like you
to attend the 6:00 pm SRVA fundraiser tonight
instead of the President. - Oh no.
- Not in the schedule. - That's not gonna happen.
I can't do that. - The President,
of the United States of America is very keen.
- Uh-huh. - That you're going
to the fundraiser should be fundamentally
the sequence of events that does actually
take place this evening.
- I will make a call.
- Thank you.
- And I'd like you to watch your tone with me.
- I will watch my tone. - Yeah.
I spoke in favor of immigration amnesty
all during my primary campaign.
Hey, how's it going? - Well, with respect,
ma'am, do you think anybody's gonna remember
your primary campaign?
- [Gary] Ooh.
- In spite of your preface,
I did not detect a whole lot of respect in that question.
- No, I meant that more as a slight
against the power of recollection of the electorate
and not as an attack on the potency of your campaign.
- Well why didn't you say that then?
Oh, because you have the social skills of someone
who was raised by wolves.
- You got to get out of here, okay?
Take all these meaningless syllables with you.
Just get out.
- Yes, absolutely ma'am.
Oh, and I will see you at the dinner tonight.
- Oh my god, yeah.
Okay, yeah, that's a cherry on top of this whole turd cake.
- You look good, ma'am.
- Well, thanks, Jonah.
- You look really good.
- Thank you.
- Yes, ma'am.
- Jonah, don't talk, don't stay.
You need to fuck off and go back to Westworld.
- But ma'am I-- - No you need to fuck off.
- But ma'am I-- - I said fuck off.
Three fucks, you're out.
- Yes ma'am.
- Jonah, hey, listen, settle something for me.
- Okay. - You like
to have sex and you like to travel?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Then you can.
- [Mike] Ma'am. - Yeah?
- Do you have a moment for Jonah?
Oh Jonah, oh yeah.
I want to thank you for your work on men's health,
and talking about that bullying that you had to endure.
- Thank you ma'am it was my--
- You know what, I need to thank Vermont.
- [Gary] Yeah that's it Jonah, it's been a busy night.
- What was that, I got like four seconds.
- Well, most people get just two.
- You helped Selina Meyer screw up this country.
- I think she did a fine job screwing up the country
all by herself.
(audience gasps)
- Oh ho. - [Jonah] No, I'm serious.
- This is so much more beautiful to watch
than the birth of my child.
- Right, she single-handedly destroyed the economy,
but she doesn't care because she's too busy cuddling up
to her billionaire boyfriend.
(audience cheers) And I don't know about you,
but my boyfriend's not a billionaire.
(audience cheering)
Like her whole presidency has been one disgrace
after another, and I don't know if you're sick of it.
(audience cheers)
- Yes. - But I'm definitely
sick of it, and I'm not just going to sit here
and take it anymore.
(audience cheers) - What the fuck?
- My name is Jonah Ryan, and I want to be your Congressman!
(audience cheers) And I won't back down,
thank you.
- In further good news, ma'am,
Jonah had a huge polling bump
since he hit on the strategy of attacking you.
- What, he's attacking me?
- Yeah, and the voters, they love it.
- Is that good?
- It's really good. - Oh.
- Let me tell you something else about Selina Meyer,
our commander in thief.
(audience laughs)
She has destroyed the economy,
made a mess of the middle east.
She ruined Thanksgiving,
and that's only just 10 months in office.
- Kent says Jonah is up another five points.
- Wait, what?
- We're going to win in Nashua,
and we're going to win in Peterborough,
(audience cheers) and Keene,
(audience cheering) and Brattleboro, yeah!
My name is Jonah Ryan, and I.
- Won't back down!
- [Selina] Jonah, can you hear me?
- Yes, ma'am
- You listen to me, all right?
You are already dead.
What you do now, you do for your family.
You get yourself in there and you vote for me!
Congressman Ryan,
I haven't spoken to you since the historic House vote.
- Yes, I'll just sit here - I just wanted
to thank you for all that you've done for me.
And I want to let you know
that I will destroy you in ways that are so creative,
they will honor me for it at the Kennedy Center.
- The reason that we are here.
- Yeah. - Is Congressman Ryan
is considering stepping aside and endorsing.
- I want Vice President.
That's not negotiable. - Ooh, let's go.
- No, I'm willing to negotiate, just,
what about department of the exterior?
- Interior.
- Oh, what, we're going to negotiate
against ourselves now Amy?
- Amy, Amy, I mean (scoffs).
- She is offering you Vice President,
you monument to vaginal dryness.
(funky rock music)
- Well then, no.
- I'm sorry?
- I said no, as in never.
I will be President, or I will be nothing.
And in fact, if I don't get the nomination,
I might run as a third party just to fuck your shit up.
- President or nothing?
- Yeah. (hand slaps)
- Fucking kidding-- - Are you fucking kidding me?
You cockless cockroach.
(Jeff, Jonah, and Selina arguing)
- [Jonah] You don't get--
- You shameful rapist! - I am not a rapist.
(Jeff, Jonah, and Selina arguing)
- When they cut open your-- - Like I did in kindergarten.
- Figure out what the fuck-- - And that is with purpose,
- You were! - and repetition!
- Okay fine!
- Jesus fuckin' Christ I'll be Vice President,
just stop yelling at me.
- [Selina] All right, fine!
(upbeat rock music)