Hi. We all want people to be polite to us, yet sometimes we forget how to behave politely
towards others. My name is Rebecca, and in today's lesson, I'm going to show you how
to be polite to others and how to make requests politely so that people are more likely to
do what you ask them to do. Okay? Let's look at the board. I've written a number of expressions
that you can use for these purposes. Okay, so here are some of the many expressions that
you can use. The first, of course, is with the word "please". By itself, you could say,
"Please do something." All right? Next expression, "Could you please?" This is actually my favorite
because you could use this in any context, and it always works. "Could you please?" And
we're going to see exactly what you could add after that. You could also say, "Would
you?" And you could also say, "Can you?" But in my opinion, "Can you?" is not as polite
as "Could you?" All right? "Can you?" is very casual, and "Could you?" you could use in
a business situation or in a formal situation. Okay?
Now, one last one is the expression, "Would you mind?" Now, "Would you mind?" is special
because when you ask somebody, "Would you mind opening the window?" The question is
really there, "Do you have any problem with opening the window?" Or, "Do you have any
objection to opening the window?" Right? So if you don't have any objection, then what
you should say is, "No." So, "Would you mind opening the window?" "No, no problem. I'll
open the window." So in fact, here, when you say, "No," you're saying, "Yes." To all the
other ones, "Could you please open the window?" "Yes, I'll open the window." So to all of
these, you can just say, "Yes" as the answer, and to this one, the positive answer is, "No."
All right? If it confuses you, just forget about it. All right? There are many good expressions
that you can use, but you should also understand when other people are speaking to you what
you should say.
So let's try with this one, and let's see what happens when we look at different contexts
when people don't use a little something to make a polite request. Let's say you're at
the bank, and someone says to you, "Fill in this form." "Oh, how's that going to make
you feel? Not very nice." So it would be much nicer if they said, "Could you please fill
out this form?" or, "Would you fill in this form?" Right? If you're in a restaurant, and
you say to the waiter, "Bring us some water." Okay? Of course, the waiter will bring you
the water, but it's not a very nice way to treat other human beings. So it's much nicer
to say, "Would you bring us some water, please?" "Could you please bring us some water?" or,
"Please bring us some water." Okay?
Next one. Let's suppose you work in a call center, and you have to ask people for information.
Now, of course, you want to use all the diplomacy you can, and you want to be as polite as you
can, because sometimes your job is hard enough. So you don't want to say something like, "Give
me your name." "Give me your address." "Give me your phone number." No. Much nicer to say,
"Could you please give me your phone number?" "Would you give me your phone number, please?"
etc. Okay?
Next, in an office situation, if you say to someone, "Send them an email." Okay? Of course,
it sounds like you're angry, and you don't want to sound angry around people you work
with all the time, so much nicer to say, "Could you please send them an email?" "Would you
send them an email, please?" All right? Or, "Would you mind sending them an email?" Another
thing that happens when we use "would you mind" is that this verb has to change. "Would
you mind filling in this form?" "Would you mind bringing us some water?" "Would you mind
giving me your name?" "Would you mind sending them an email?" Okay? So remember that little
change if you're using the last one, but only for the last one.
Next one, if you're in a hotel, and you're asking them to send you some... You need some
more towels in your room. So it wouldn't be very nice to say, "Send me some towels." It
would be much nicer to say, "Could you please have someone send us some towels?" Or, "Could
you please send me some towels?" Okay? Or, "Could you please send some towels to my room?"
Any of those, as long as you're saying "could you please", it's going to be much nicer and
you're going to get the desired effect. Okay?
Next, on the phone. Instead of saying to someone, "Speak a little louder." Say, "Could you please
speak a little louder? I'm afraid I can't hear you." Okay? These little words and expressions
that we add on make life a lot kinder.
Okay, next, at home. Also, it's really important to be kind to the people that we live with
and that we say we love, so we don't want to give them orders all the time. We don't
want to say, "Pass the salt." "Turn off the TV." "Close the door." We should say, "Could
you please turn off the TV?" Or, I should say to the motorcyclist going by on this nice
summer's day, "Could you please pass as quickly as possible?" All right?
So, at home, "Could you please turn off the TV?" "Could you please close the door?" "Could
you please pass the potatoes?" All right? Lots of ways to be polite at home, too.
And let's say you're in public and you need to tell someone something. Also, use one of
these expressions. "Would you switch off your cell phone, please?" "Could you switch off
your cell phone, please?" Okay? So, remember next time when you're making a request, do
so politely. The world on a personal level, your world will be probably a kinder place.
And on a global level, we'll make our existence here on the planet a much better, more pleasant
experience. Okay?
So if you'd like to do a quiz on this subject, please go to our website, www.engvid.com.
Good luck with your English.