How was the relationship with your ex, your son's father?
As far as me and his relationship?
Yeah.
I mean, we're OK with each other.
We don't really get the opportunity
to see each other much because he's in New York.
I'm here.
We mostly communicate through my son, honestly.
OK.
Like he talks to him and he'll kind of relate the message.
But if I need to have a conversation with him directly,
we can, and we will.
OK, what are your thoughts on the relationship
Joia has with her son's father, because if you all
did get married, then that would bring a young son
in the home day in and day out?
Blending those two energies, because with Jordan--
Yes.
--Jordan, it seems like that relationship
is kind of estranged.
How that would work together, because he
is the father of your son?
Have you thought about, man to man,
how that is going to be with you and this person?
Yeah, a little bit.
We talked about it.
I said one day whenever that does happen, man to man.
Like let's say, hey, man, we're here for Jordan.
And that's pretty much what it's going to be about.
I hope that he's open.
You said at first he said he would be open to it
at some point.
We're talking about a new child.
There's a real human being currently in the picture,
an 11-year-old Black man--
- Yeah. - Yes
Right.
--who will then have two father figures in his life.
That's one of the things I say,
like we got to focus on and make sure we give them the attention
and the energy that they need because they're
going in their teenage stage, going to high school.
My daughter's in high school now, like 16.
And it's going to be-- it's a lot of attention.
And so you don't want them to feel like,
oh, you just got your new baby, and you ain't
thinking about us anymore.
And possibly saying, I want my dad,
because now you all have something together
that I'm not a part of.
Facts, yeah.
Right.
Real conversations.
Real conversations, especially with an 11-year-old boy.
Yeah.
And the thing about it is it's a hard conversation.
It's very hard.
But as long as you have it now--
I'm all about, what do I say, healthy romantic relationships.
This individual over here coming together
with this individual over here and deciding this
is the relationship. - Right.
I know we want to have children,
but we have a family right now.
We have Jada and Jordan.
And I am learning how to become a stepdad.
I'm working on blending these families together.
And that's something new to me.
We have a lot of things we got to work through.
But I'm open to it.
We set the standard for him at this point.
So we have to be leaders and great role models for him.
Yes, what I'm suggesting is the importance of involving him
in this journey.
I know he sees you all together traveling.
He likes, yeah, I'm on these trips with you all.
But really have you all had a conversation with him,
and even made him a part of the planning or even the thinking
so that he can--
especially long-term you're thinking
about involving another child, him feeling
a part of this process now.
Have you all done that?
I won't say--
no, we haven't really.
We talk to him and stuff, but--
We have not.
But me and him have the conversation all the time.
Tell me about that, Joia.
We were talking about--
he has a friend at school who has a little sister.
And he's like, mom, I want a little sister or brother.
I'm tired of being alone.
I really want you and Jeisha to have more kids so that I
don't have to be here alone.
So I was like, well, you know that's not going
to happen until we get married.
So you might want to talk to him about doing that first.
But the three of us having that real conversation,
no, that has not happened yet.
I think it is key, because if you're blending you and Jeisha
as a family, him involved in the family blending immediately,
if that's what you're thinking, as an 11-year-old boy.
Again, who also has a father who is in his life.
Maybe he's in New York, but he still is a consideration.
You want to win more fans, right?
Yes.
Mm hmm.
Because he is still blood to him.
And that could potentially, if not positioned,
disrupt or challenge something with you all.
That we're building, yeah.
Because we didn't include him in the process.
- Right. - Exactly.
I'm just like, wow, how did we miss this?
I feel like Jeisha and I are finally opening up
our eyes to a key piece of our relationship
that we've been missing.
I'm glad you're making us see that from another perspective.
Getting in front of those conversations as a couple
so it's not as much the child, because it
seems most children are like, yeah, I want another brother.
I want a brother. I want a sister.
That's what I said. That's what I tell you.
They, of course, they want kids.
Yeah, I want a brother or a sister.
Yeah.
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