- [Jen] Whoa!
- It's like cow but make it strawberry.
Oh no, is it not in my size?
(gasping)
Is gonna be like--
(imitating loud sucking)
- I love that noise.
Get your patootie out here.
Oh my gosh!
- It's every plus-size person's nightmare.
You travel to a fabulous location
but your suitcase gets lost along the way.
"Oh, just go and buy new clothes,"
your thinner friends might say
because they don't know that if you're above a certain size,
your chances of finding clothes that fit
are small.
Well, I'm about to turn the nightmare
into a dream come true.
I'm gonna visit eight cities
with just the clothes I'm wearing.
Then, I'm gonna try and find a day look
and a night look to explore the city.
Will I be too nude to leave the hotel?
Woo!
(trumpet music)
It's "The Empty Suitcase Show" and we're about to find out.
(upbeat music)
- You ready to go to London?
- I am, if our flight isn't delayed.
It's currently delayed. - It's currently delayed.
We've been sitting here on the floor
for 30 minutes. - Mhmm.
- Waiting for our flight. - Yeah.
(upbeat music)
- It is seven in the morning.
We've just made our connecting flight.
- Also, it's torrentially raining
and very windy in Iceland right now.
(laughing)
(upbeat music)
- We're here in the parking garage
where we will be staying for the duration of this episode.
Aren't you excited?
- It's the Queen and her corgis.
(laughing)
It is warmer here than it was in DC, I will say that.
- Yeah, but that's 'cause we're in a garage.
- [Mike] Is it nice to be wearing a jacket, Kristin?
- It's nice to be wearing a jacket.
Finally, big jacket wins one again.
(upbeat music)
Oh my gosh.
Welcome to our home. - Oh!
- Look at this view.
(laughing)
- Look at this, look at,
it doesn't open!
- I guess we can't be nude in the living room,
but that's okay. - We haven't slept
in 12 hours.
- This room and this bathroom, for London, are very big.
Look at those people, they're cold.
(laughing)
This place is beautiful.
Thank you so much to Sonder for hosting us.
We are here at the lovely Sonder in London.
You've been with me while I've been pre-proing this episode.
- I have, yes. - So you have an idea
of maybe the answer to the question
I'm about to ask you. - Okay.
- Which is, how hard do you think it is
to plus size shop in London?
- It's a really large city,
so I would assume it's not as difficult
as some of the smaller places we've been.
But I've been wrong before.
- So, in order to demonstrate to you
how difficult it is to plus size shop here in London,
we've come up with another not-so-scientific anecdote.
We looked at five popular shopping centers here in London
to see how many stores sell women's clothes
and we've identified 180 stores.
Guess how many of those stores sell my size,
which is a size 20, or above.
- 31.
- Seven.
- What? - Seven.
It took me so long to find a store here.
So long.
(nervous laughing)
As I say in every episode,
the fact that I'm even able
to make this show at all is a privilege.
If I'm above a certain size,
approximately a 24,
making this show would be extremely difficult,
if not impossible.
So, the fact that we're here is, in itself, a privilege.
Because there are not that many stores,
we're actually going to be going to two stores today.
The first store we're going to today is Lazy Oaf,
which only sells up to a US size 16,
but it sells a lot of oversized stuff.
So we're gonna see if we can find some things in that store.
The second store we're going to is a plus size store
and it's called Yours Clothing.
These are actually the first two
non-thrift stores of this season.
As with every episode,
I have to put together a day look and a night look.
The day look should be a little bit more pretty and refined.
The night look is whatever I want,
but I have to have close toed shoes.
- All right.
- Are you ready to go shopping?
- Yeah. - Well, let's go shopping.
- I already have my coat on. - Okay.
(electronic dance music)
We are here at Lazy Oaf and we are gonna start shopping.
So, this is a store that only does carry up to a US size 16,
so I'm gonna be looking for oversized stuff.
I'm also gonna try
and find some things that fit in ways that,
are maybe a little bit different
'cause I feel like coats don't need to close.
- Mm-mm. - They can be vests.
Are you ready? - I'm ready.
- To start shoppin'? - Listen,
I'm ready to hold some clothes.
(laughing)
You show me what you like and I validate it.
(gasping)
- Thank you. - Unless it's a moto jacket.
- I'm not allowed to buy any more moto jackets.
(upbeat music)
How do you feel about this cutie patoots?
- I love her.
- If something is tent-like,
it's gonna be slim-fitting on me.
So something that will be oversized
on a person who is maybe like a 10,
is gonna be like
(imitating loud sucking)
which is what I want anyway. - I love that noise.
- You want me
to just keep making it? - Yeah.
- How 'bout when I wake you up tomorrow morning,
I'll just make that noise?
- I'm definitely gonna be awake before you.
(laughing)
- It's like cow but make it strawberry.
(laughing)
I don't actually ask Jen to hold the stuff.
Jen just likes holding the stuff.
- I like to be useful. - You are useful!
- I know. - Look how cute
she is. - Wow.
Wait, I love this.
- And if I am up to something, I can untie it up top.
- Bada-bing-bada-boom.
All right, I'll hold it.
Oh god.
You see how easy it comes off?
- The clothes just fly off my body.
- [Jen] Whoa, this is a statement.
- I haven't bought any coats yet.
I really like a big statement coat.
It says, "I have money but I'm not giving you any."
(laughing)
Thinking of statement coats.
- Whoa.
- I love her, she's soft.
Listen, I will buy any coat if it means people will pet me.
Hold her, take care of her. - Okay.
- She needs to be fed twice a day.
(laughing)
Look at this, it's like a little sweater
but you've got little babies on the shoulder.
- I think those are dogs.
- Dogs can be babies. - That's true.
Actually that's very true.
- I don't have any purple.
- Ooh. - I know.
- Do you like this?
- Yeah, it's also kind of a moto jacket
and also a denim jacket but it's not really either,
so you won't yell at me. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- These are so cute, they are tragically not gonna fit me.
So let's just take a second to mourn them.
- Pour one out. - Pour one out.
(gasping)
So this is a US 12 and it's pretty big.
- This is extremely (bleep).
- Yeah, my (bleep) kindergarten teacher (bleep).
(laughing)
Ooh, look at this coat too. - That is really cute.
- Okay, we have to try things on
'cause we're gonna be here forever.
- Yep, chop, chop. - Okay, all right.
Chop chop chop chop chop chop chop.
- I'm ready to see you for the first time.
- Moo!
- Wait, I love this.
- Okay, I like it too.
I like it a lot.
So this is a medium. - Okay.
- Which means that the bustline
kind of intersects with the equator of my boobs right now.
But as you can see, it's on my body.
- It's mobile. - I am street legal.
- Hello.
- Wow.
This jacket is incredible.
- I know.
This jacket's so cool.
So the sad part is this coat only comes in a medium
so it won't quite close.
The good part is that you can see what's inside.
- Which is this really cute dress.
- Yeah, so this is a 20.
This is a US 16.
- And it's funny because you have a lot of floral dresses
but you don't have anything with this art style
which I love.
- I don't have a lot of faces.
And this is flowers and faces.
- Which is so cute. - I know.
It's like all my friends came with me.
- Get your patootie out here.
- Hello, your patootie is here.
This is so cute.
This is a large actually. - Wow.
- I love this little color block thing.
This would look really cute
with a high waisted pencil skirt.
- Or some hard boiled eggs.
That'd be cute.
- It's like I'm going to business but also daycare.
(laughing)
Hi.
- Oh my god.
- So this isn't an outfit
but these are three things that I really like and are cool.
- [Jen] I think it very much is an outfit.
- This is definitely something I would have worn
when I was 12,
which means that it's now back in style
because it's been 20 years.
- Did you have boobs when you were 12?
- I mean, yeah.
- Some people were lucky.
(laughing)
- I love this jacket too.
It doesn't quite close
but again, the advantage is, you can open the book.
The library is open for business
and you can check them out.
(laughing)
- Cool!
(laughing)
That's so cute. - I love it so much.
Also this is a 16. - Oh!
- This is a US 12.
I walked in here thinking
I'm not gonna fit in any bottoms.
It's gonna just be all tops and flowy stuff.
And also the fit is very different
'cause these are very long sleeves.
- They are quite long
but it's actually cute because it accentuates the puppies.
- My little babies.
Hi, I'm a Care Bear. - Hi!
(laughing)
Nice.
- I love this coat so much. - This coat is cool.
- Literally someone just walked by
and did a double take of me wearing this outfit.
Regardless of what we use for the show,
it's coming home with me so.
(laughing)
- You also do not wear a lot of purple.
So I feel like you could use something like this.
- I feel like I'm dressed like your favorite crayon
for Halloween. - Yeah.
- All right, we're all done.
We're ready to go.
- These are cute bags.
- I know, they're such cute bags.
They're like little envelopes.
- Wow.
- Thanks so much to Lazy Oaf
for letting us hang out and shop.
We have some more choices to make.
Come on. - Yeah yeah!
- It's lunchtime, baby!
(upbeat music)
- [Jen] We're on a bit of a time crunch.
- Bit of a time crunch so we gotta run again, run again.
- [Jen] Yeah, makeup's happening here,
lunch is happening here.
(laughing)
(upbeat music)
- Hi!
Hi guys, how are you?
- Hello! - My name is Lorraine.
I'm the deputy manager
at the Yours Clothing Bluewater Branch.
- Thank you so much for having us.
Oh thank you for coming, guys. - We're so excited.
Tell me a little bit about your store.
- [Lorraine] We are part of a massive chain
for plus size clothing for women here in the UK.
I think we are a place where fashion is for everybody.
Regardless of age,
we offer something from a young trendy lady
to a more mature woman.
It's for everybody.
- That's great. - It is.
- We're gonna go look for some clothes
and then we'll be back. - Okay.
- Thank you. - All right.
- If you need me, give me a shout.
- All right!
(upbeat music)
- Ooh. - Hello.
- Hello!
- I'd like to draw your attention
to the coat I'm gonna try on.
- Nice. - I know.
You're so proud of me, right?
- [Jen] It looks warm.
- But I feel like we could do some fun pattern mixing.
- Yes. - If I find
the same color scheme.
- Totally. - Ooh.
I like these pants too.
Did I say that sentence out loud?
- Yeah. What?
Who are you?
- I'm London Kristen.
I break all the rules!
I like the little button details.
What do you think I should be going for?
- Where are we going?
(laughing)
- Okay, I know I own this dress in eight different colors
but what if I owned it in this one too?
- You really do already own this dress.
You do a good v-neck, don't you, Kristen?
- Listen, I know where my butter is breaded.
Plus, I don't have anything like this
even though I realize that we've just talked about a dress
with the same silhouette.
- Yeah, it's similar but different.
- Oh no, is it not in my size?
- [Jen] What size are we looking for?
- 24.
I was just holding it.
Oh my god, chaos a sea.
- Oh, it's right here.
It's literally right here.
- Oh.
I was talking earlier about some pattern mixing.
Maybe we could mix this pattern with some other patterns.
- Oh, hell yeah.
- Also, I like when things stick close to my body.
- Totally. - I want people to know.
I don't want this to be a mystery.
- Nuh-uh.
- I didn't get to wear a uniform in school,
so I feel like I don't have negative feelings
associated with being forced to wear a uniform.
So it's kind of all I wanna do now.
I really like the sweaters
that come with the little shirt accents.
- Yeah.
- Because I don't like wearing two shirts.
- But you want people to think you are.
- Yeah.
When you want people to think you've done the homework
but actually you haven't.
Arf arf arf arf arf.
There you go, thank you.
I can hold some of this. - No.
(laughing)
It's mine.
- Okay.
- It's going back to my nest.
I love this.
- There you go, get in your nest.
- Get in my nest.
Ooh! - This is a new animal
altogether.
So you know these shirts
I picked up five minutes ago? - Mhmm.
- I'm thinking this could go under that.
- That would look cool.
- [Kristen] So I wanna do a little bit of color maybe.
- Oh cute.
More cold shoulders, I like them.
- [Kristen] I know.
Oh, it is more cold shoulders. - Yeah.
(laughing)
Hey, let me help you.
I'm also 5'2" and a half.
(laughing)
- Oh wait, hold on.
Lorraine really wants to help us.
Thank you.
- Excellent reach.
(laughing)
- Get out here, girl.
- What do you think of this dress?
- I like it.
It's blue, it's pretty.
I do think it is similar to stuff you already own.
- I love how you're doing
your don't yell at me ridiculous person hands.
- No, these are my I want a juice box hands.
- I think that if I tuck this in.
- [Jen] Ah!
♪ Tucking montage ♪
♪ It's a tucking montage ♪
♪ Tucking in ♪
- Hey, look up the lyrics on Genius.
- In that way, it maybe tightens it up a little bit.
You can see the cute little details right here.
- [Jen] Yeah, I love those buttons.
- These pants say, "I love boats."
But the elastic says not too much.
I could take this
and just sort of knot it up here.
- [Jen] Oh, I didn't even think of that.
- A slightly sleeker silhouette.
- Oh my gosh! - I don't like to hide.
So sometimes you have shirts
that are made for a little bit of a looser fit.
But if you know the hack, you can get that tummy up.
- First of all, I love these overalls.
These are so cute.
- They're not overalls, it's a dress.
- It's a dress.
And that's what I love about it,
is how it's a dress.
- [Kristen] Where do you see the part between my legs?
- [Jen] Well I don't know.
This always screams overalls to me.
Straps? - There are other parts
of my body besides my breasts, Jen.
- Head, face, hands.
Okay, yes, that checks out.
(laughing)
- Take me to the currency exchange
'cause I'm a penny and you can't spend me here.
- [Jen] Oh yeah, definitely not.
- I think it's so cute. - This is adorable.
I love the shiny.
- Makes me wanna do this. - Yeah.
- Makes me wanna be like,
I'm a mermaid but I'm not as good at swimming.
I'm that scene in "The Wizard of Oz"
where everyone goes to sleep.
- Whoa, we would love that.
- We're both very tired. - We would love that.
- It's the end of the day. - My favorite scene.
- And we're sleepy. - This is a good dress though.
- Are we done now?
(laughing)
I have decisions to make.
Jen is falling asleep. - We have to make choices.
- We have to make the choices.
If I don't make the choices we can't leave.
- We cannot sleep 'til the choices are made.
- Well we have got some fun stuff here.
Thank you so much Lorraine and to Yours Clothing,
Now we gotta put some outfits together.
Thank you. - Thank you very much.
Thank you.
- Too many choices, too many.
It is, it's like the SAT.
- Oh yeah, or the A Levels.
- Good morning, Kristen. - Good morning.
It's time for our morning activity.
(upbeat music)
- It is time to reveal Kristen's day look.
We're here in beautiful London
and she's gonna look marvelous.
Come on in.
- Hello!
- Ooh, wait.
Let me see, full frontal.
- Hi, I'll open my coat for you.
(laughing)
So this is all from Yours Clothing.
- All of it? - Everything.
This entire day look is Yours.
- [Jen] I can't believe
this is all from Yours. - It is.
- [Jen] I love those shoes.
- So I wanted to do a different kind of waistline
because sometimes vintage waistlines,
they'll have the skirt come up to the boobs
and then the belt will be more on the hips.
- Right. - So that's what
I was trying to do.
- You have a leaf in your hair, I'mma get that.
- Oh, thank you.
No, that's part of it.
- Oh, I love that.
Let me put more.
I wanna play.
- No no, don't do that.
- I think it's really important that everyone in England
knows that I came here with a hot person.
So I'm excited.
- All right, you're ready to go find out
what our day activity is?
- Yes! - So am I.
- Let's go!
(pleasant music)
We're here at the pub that I used to drink out
when I was in college.
It's actually so much more beautiful
than I remember it.
- A really gorgeous pub. - I remember it being cute
but I don't remember it being just in a magazine.
- It is a beautiful pub.
- So we just ordered some roast.
You got a little fish. - I did get fish.
- That's a beautiful meat candy.
How's your fish?
- It's so good.
- The thing about halloumi
is that it's a cheese that I feel like
we don't really eat in the United States.
- It tastes like elevated mozzarella sticks.
- I know.
It's like a salt party and also fat's invited.
What I love about this look is that it's like,
I'm a student but also I'm the teacher
'cause I'm a gemini. - Oh yeah!
(laughing)
- But it's been nice to be here with all of you too
'cause it's like welcome to my world from many moons ago.
(upbeat music)
It's time to get ready for our London night activity.
It'll be a very round good time, like me.
(upbeat music)
- All right, it's time for Kristen to reveal her night look
and I for one, am excited.
Get in here!
- Hello!
So here is my thinking,
because I did a very buttoned up look for daytime in London,
I was like, why don't I do something
that kind of reflects the other side of London,
but is like a little bit more creative,
a little bit more wild, more playful.
This outfit came from Lazy Oaf.
Because this outfit was a bit outside my budget,
I decided that I was gonna use the shoes
that I brought with me.
- Which are really cute.
Because if this were a real situation
where I lost my suitcase,
that might be an option I looked at.
Plus the place we're going to
is very crazy, very creative, very child-like.
So I wanted to get something that was like--
- Fit those vibes. - Yes.
That was my vision from the beginning.
- Okay, let's go. - Come on.
(upbeat electronic music)
We're here at Ballie Ballerson
which is--
- A real name.
- A real name and a real place 'cause we're in it.
It is a ball pit for adults.
- We're literally getting pizza and going to a ball pit
- Yes! - This is Chuck E. Cheese.
- This is Chuck E. Cheese. - With wine.
- Are you ready to jump into some balls?
- Why not?
(upbeat music)
- It's like being inside a giant silica packet!
(Mike laughing)
(upbeat music)
We went to the adult ball pit!
- It's much harder to move around in a ball pit
than I remember.
- I know.
I mean many of my adventures
have taken me to the far reaches of the world
but never have I ever
tried to traverse a ball pit as an adult.
(laughing)
We had a really good time at Ballie Ballerson.
- [Jen] They were so lovely to us.
- From the window to the wall.
- From the window to the Ballie Ballerson.
It was so well decorated.
The aesthetic in there was great.
And some really nice women said that they liked my scarf.
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah.
- [Kristen and Jen] Time to go to bed!
- Wow, we did it. - We did it.
- We did it.
- We had some balls around us.
- This is the first European Empty Suitcase.
I was able to put together
two very distinctly different looks
for two very distinctly different activities.
- Yeah.
- I think that I thought it was gonna be hard
and obviously I got very pleasantly surprised.
The first store didn't sell that much
into the plus size range.
Obviously the reason why
I was able to even fit in the Lazy Oaf at all
is 'cause I'm a 20
and so there was a little bit of leeway
'cause it was baggy.
I think that both of these stores
really worked out in different unexpected ways
and I definitely got outfits
that I would never have bought otherwise
and will definitely have to find new context to wear.
Thank you so much to Sonder London,
Yours Clothing, Lazy Oaf,
Builders Arms, and Ballie Ballerson.
- It's been a really wonderful time.
- It really has.
And we will take so much of it home with us.
- It's been smashing.
- Where are we going next with Jen
who is with me for the duration.
- Yeah, what up?
(upbeat music)
(scratching and squeaking)