I think that by this point, it’s fair to say that Breaking Bad’s Fly is one of the
most controversial episodes in television history.
I can’t state that I really have a finger on the pulse of discourse surrounding it nowadays,
but for many years, it was extremely divisive and criticized by many as filler, a flash
in the pan, artistic fluff, you name it.
Now, if you’ve seen any of my Breaking Bad videos, you’d probably be able to guess
how I feel about the episode and which side of the fence I’m on.
And you’d be correct.
To me, this is one of the very best episodes in season three, and probably within the top
20 or so of the entire series.
But my aim here is not to talk about why it’s great as much as it is to talk about why it’s
unique - why is adds something to the series completely distinct from anything else, what
it does for Walter White as a character, and why, as a result, it is an absolutely irreplaceable
episode.
Fly is a bottle episode taking place almost exclusively in Gustavo Fring’s super lab,
where Jesse and Walt deal with a contaminant in the form of a single fly that’s somehow
gotten in.
Walt’s obsession with the Fly spirals out of control, to the point where Jesse slips
some sleeping pills into his drink to get him to cool down so that the situation can
be dealt with.
Ultimately, the contaminant is taken care of, but not before a delirious Walt pours
his soul out to Jesse and let’s loose some of the most bothersome thoughts that have
been plaguing him and stopping him from getting sleep.
The episode ends with Walt telling Jesse to be careful about the crystal that he’s been
stealing, and that he cannot help him is Gus finds out - with this context adding another
dimension of symbolism to what this episode represents, one that won’t be the focus
of this video.
Now, there are many reasons as to why Fly is important - it progresses some significant
plot threads, really effectively shows the state of Walt and Jesse’s relationship,
and works as a metaphor for their dynamics with each other and Gus as this point in the
story.
But more than anything for me, this is an introspection of Walter White unlike anything
else the show has provided us with.
The fly itself can be interpreted as multiple things.
As I alluded to, from one perspective it can be indicative of Walt’s paranoia associated
with Jesse’s risky stealing.
From another angle, can be viewed as representative of Walt’s nagging powerlust and need to
continue on his crusade.
The flaw in his programming that forces him to head down his path without abandon.
Walt’s obsession with it parallels his obsession with continuosly pursuing his goals, and it
shows his fixation and tunnel vision that can be applied to his powerlust, but additionally,
if we frame this in a way that acknowledges that the Fly is heisenberg’s catalyst and
kryptonite, his need to kill it and stamp out the contamination shows an immense amount
of self-hatred for what he is.
It’s His guilt.
And the fact that it keeps him up at night is no coincidence.
Outside of this episode, this may seem a bit of a stretch, because Walt doesn’t outwardly
show remorse much.
He doesn’t often talk about his guilt at the things he’s done, and the moments where
he does - like when he talks about the consequences of his actions coming for him, or the subtext
of the dispenser scene in 4 days out - they’re done subtly.
These bits alone are substance to give credence to the idea that Walt has this remorse and
self awareness, but it isn’t definitive.
And that’s a big part of why Fly exists.
The obsession with the fly in the episode is yet another bit of subtext, but with the
central scene of the episode, subtext becomes text and we can understand the struggles that
plague this man as he nonetheless relentlessly heads towards oblivion.
This is an episode that claws deep into the inner recesses of Walt’s mind in a way that
the show never had until that point, and never will again.
And with that in mind I’m consistently boggled at how some refer to it as filler.
Walter White as a character is often rightfully referred to as villainous and monstrous - the
architect of his own destruction due to his impulsiveness, ego and thirst for control.
But underlying that, he does show clear signs of self-awareness, guilt and remorse, and
that’s what is key about Fly.
Through this episode we see the monster looking in the mirror, terrified of what he sees,
whilst knowing that there is no way to stop.
Because he says it himself - the perfect time to die was before he passed the moment of
no return.
He has no way to go back to the way things were, and he misses how things were.
He reveals here that he fixates often on how it would’ve been perfect to die and leave
a lasting impact that he desired, some sort of optimal equation that would’ve given
his family comfort, peace, and most importantly, good memories of him.
This man is deeply haunted by the things he’s done, by what he is, by what he could’ve
been with more restraint.
He deeply laments killing Jane, and he wouldn’t take it back, but that doesn’t mean that
he doesn’t feel horrible about it, nor does he not care about the pain he caused Jesse
through doing what he did.
He feels the weight of all of this, and it makes him hate the man he is for how he continues
to isolate himself from the things he values for the sake of compensatory desires that
overpower everything else.
Walter knows what he is.
He’s not fooling anyone, least of all himself.
Nothing can stop the train he’s on, and yet, deep down, parts of him wishes he could,
because the emotional manner in which he describes that perfect moment to die is also a metaphor
for his current state.
He thinks back to hearing Holly and Skylar on the baby monitor, their voices muffled
but simultaneously clear as a bell, and he loses himself in them.
The picturesque moment, his beautiful wife singing his beautiful daughter to sleep.
This is a life he longs to be a part of, and if he imagines it and closes his eyes, he
could almost fool himself into believing that he’s right there with them, overlooking
the baby cradle with Skylar.
But in the end, he can’t.
He knows himself too well, and he knows what he’s done.
And the look on his face alone tells us everything we need to know about this - eyes closed,
so much longing for that which is now out of his grasp.
Past that moment, he can no longer be the man in the room with his family.
He can only be the one listening in from the baby monitor.
On the outside looking in, distinct and separated from the life that was the core of why he
said he was doing this in the first place.
Walter says it himself - he did this for him.
He died accepting and satisfied, and.. ironically, alive.
But to state that he did it solely for himself would be untrue, to state that he didn’t
legitimately want what was best for his family would be a falsity, and to state that he has
no regrets at all and no qualms about how he separated himself from the family life
that he saw such beauty in would be totally wrong.
And the crux of why is present in Fly.
Not only is it a beautiful, layered bottle episode full of ponderous artistry and haunting
dialogue, but it is a study into the inner depths of Walter White’s soul, so deep within
that we never get a glimpse quite like this again.
While the show focuses much more on how this story made Walt feel the authority and power
that compensated for his years of doldrums, it also cleverly but substantially shows us
why and how he struggles, not fully advocating of his path, fighting with himself in some
ways, and once again - the core of that idea is the core of Fly.
It is a confirmation that Walt, while a monster, is simultaneously one that has paradoxically
trapped himself into a path that terrifies and saddens him nearly as much as it thrills
him.
I can’t even begin to put myself in the shoes of someone who is seeing themselves
burn to blazes before there eyes, unable to do anything to stop it because they WANT it
to happen.
I can’t imagine the internal anguish and conflict associated with that concept, and
hopefully I never will.
But watching and reflecting on Walt’s words in Fly is probably the closest I’ll ever
get to doing so, and that is what makes this episode totally irreplaceable.
Many thanks for watching.