someone said a dildo what'd you do wait i just bought a new dildo that's also a vibrator and
it's working wonders for me it'll take your mind off everything make the investment lol
okay i love that i love that for you
subscribe for more videos why am i so late well i honestly wasn't gonna come on here if i'm being
like super honest i was going to reschedule for tomorrow but um i haven't been taking my medicine
very very well you guys um i take medicine for my bipolar anxiety and estrogen so i don't go through
my menopause moment and i haven't i don't know i haven't been uh look like you got some sun i
actually have been going outside more for sure um but i haven't been taking my medicine good today
is the fourth day in a row that i've taken it so we're trying to get back on track with that so um
yeah i don't know i just like emotionally been like drained i've been like overwhelmed
i've just i don't know i've been having like mood swings again and i like low-key hate it
so we're getting back on track with my meds so that's an update on that
i mean they're like surroundings definitely play a role for sure but it's just like i
hate when people say that like what do you have to be like depressed about i'm just like
that's really not how it works but i do have a lot of things to be depressed about for sure
i don't know i'm just i don't know there's a lot of um things that i am like bottling in here and
it's like i've been journaling too and it's like i don't even talk about it like in my journal so
i don't know i just feel like the things i want to talk about i don't want to say out loud i don't
know like i really did not want to come on here because i knew i was gonna be like emotional weird
so let's like not have this energy and let's move on um someone said when you finally realize you
miss your ex that's definitely not it um becky did officially move out and it's definitely been
weird because it's like she was my best friend for over four years and that's i don't know
it's just crazy because like i lived with her for over four years
like she's the only person on this planet that knows like absolutely everything about me so
yeah it's definitely been it's definitely been weird so yes she was my fiance
that still never really felt real like you know those things like
sometimes things just like not like so shocking but like something happens
to you in your life and you're like wow that did not feel real kind of like that
um i'm trying to see some of these chats that i've skipped i usually
literally am on for my other phone so i can read you guys this chat better but
i've lost my phone i don't know if you guys remember in my last um live stream
i was like went to go grab my phone and i couldn't find it i literally have not found
my phone since then so i have literally no idea where my phone is it's yeah that's yeah
um did you mean it when you said you don't have fans that really hurt a lot of people's feelings
okay that makes me sad i didn't realize that um what i meant by that is like i don't consider like
my supporters fans because fans it just seems very like celebrity style i'm definitely not a
celebrity no one special just a mediocre youtuber who does live streams now um so i know that i have
supporters and i appreciate you guys so much like so so much but like for you guys to call yourself
fans i don't know it's just weird because like i don't know like literally i'm rambling
rambling rambling love that will becky be on your live streams anymore yeah i'm sure she will
what do you think about people constantly comparing you to chantel do you think y'all
are like i do think we're similar in certain ways but we're also very different in other ways um but
people compare us because there's not many youtubers that are like
bigger like we are obviously i'm massively bigger than she is but people are going to compare the
the fatties if you will oh my god um you guys know the group of us and i think that it's very
fat shamey to do that because it's like just because we're all fat doesn't mean like
we're grouped together like should be grouped together because we're all also very different so
i don't know i think it's very strange that this community is all obsessed with
like the same few fat chicks and it just kind of goes to show what kind of community
this really is it's not really about us as people at this point it's about our weight
and i can go more into that but i really just don't want to i just don't
there's a lot of bigger size youtubers not 90 percent not 90 are big but don't say they aren't
it's just you and chantelle it feels putting down all other plus eyes no he took what i said and ran
with it why don't you watch becky's video it's probably the same reason she doesn't watch mine
like what i don't like literally i think like since i've known her for way over four years
why i said way over four years i don't know why i said like that um almost five years
i think that she has seen maybe three of my videos maybe three am i spiritual
um like i believe in the universe like i know a lot of people like what i just believe like
the universe is what created us and what like i feel like we all have paths
if that makes sense like our paths are already like written out for us
um i believe everything happens for a reason even if we don't know the reason and we're all meant to
meet the people we're meant to meet because it's all part of the path any ghost experiences no nope
um yes if you're hearing noises i do have three pets i do have three pets you love ghosts
i don't think i believe in ghosts like i just i i don't understand like i feel like
if ghosts were real i feel like there'd be more of them i feel like um
skip this super chat if your dad oh my god you're crazy okay so what are we talking about i'm dead
that like literally distracted me yeah okay so if ghosts were real i feel like we'd be seeing them
more like whether it be in pictures or movies or shows reality shows like there would just be more
like proof and there's just not a lot of the things that you see online is fake
so um your life is more isolated than it used to be are you concerned about this um
um a little but like i do have the option of driving so it's not like i'm absolutely incapable
like so yeah you look so down are you okay i mean for all i'm okay um
i don't know just kind of down lately it's my fault because my medicine and such and i feel like
environment plays a large role of that as well um like what i'm doing in my life if that makes sense
i mean i'd have depression regardless like if i lived in a mansion with
all my family like i'd still be depressed not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie
girl i love you so much
do you mean your wifey cause i ain't got no wifey so
can we scissor totes mcgoats i'd love that let's do it just kidding um
flip the camera around what is there to see nothing really okay
the tv is still in my bedroom we have a bag moment nothing really nothing really i'm thinking about
buying a tv for out here um it's kind of a mess what you guys just saw but you know it's fine are
you and becky doing okay as friends do you ever get sad about what happened between you and becky
i feel like our friendship lately isn't as strong as it was in the beginning i don't
know why i'm i'm personally trying to figure it out because like i care about her and i want
everything to be between us obviously um i think that she's just really stressed out right now so
makes me sad and i'm helping in the best way that i can help so
um did you go to ricky and eric's of the weekend i did exes grow apart becky has a lot of go
has a lot wait becky has got a lot going on and has her own following to make content for back
he's thriving yes she's getting there um let's see becky is such a nice person she really is
am i moving him with destiny and dana no no no no no
did becky have to push you to get the vaccine because of your anxiety no i wasn't gonna let
anyone push me because i know like who i am as a person you can't push me to do [ __ ] just saying
um i make my own choices i have my own opinions and beliefs and i knew that getting the vaccine
was something i was gonna have to do i feel like every single person on this
planet needs to get vaccinated i was just anxious because
i've never had a flu shot before not even a regular flu shot ever because i've never
had the flu i've had the flu one time and it was actually swine flu in high school
fun fact so it's only time i've ever had like the actual flu and um yeah i was just nervous to get
a vaccine like it's not that big of a deal but i'm i'm glad i did everyone definitely needs to
did you wash your hair or just use really dry shampoo just kidding
it does look fab today i washed my hair i actually use conditioner yay me
do you regret moving on from becky so fast no everything happens for a reason
hi amber i've been subscribed for years now and i wanted to say that i'm wishing
you the best can you say hi to my bf and ips his name is isaac hello isaac hello
uh my mom genuinely thinks the vaccine will kill you oh my god oh my god i
i i'm just gonna be respectful i'm not gonna say anything i'm not gonna say anything
um does it make you sad you can't talk about any current or potential romantic relationships
i know people love to be able to share their happiness with the world amy you are so right
um but i think from this point on whenever i do get into a relationship i will no longer
talk about it on here it just sucks like a lot because you're right like if you're in love you
want to tell people and if you're happy you want to tell people and you just want to share that
and i unfortunately have it's kind of like a privilege in a way and i've gotten that
privilege sort of taken from me and it sucks for sure so when and if i ever do
get married you guys will literally have no idea so that's a thing that's a very interesting thing
um thank you for the positive vaccine talk get backs of course very very important um
and i think it's so funny when like these anti-vaxxers they're like i just need to
do my research and i'm over here like what dr google like is that your research you're gonna
ignore the actual doctors who did the research and you're gonna do research and what dr google
what are you really gonna be researching like honestly i'm really confused
things amber won't discuss relationships family finances
health this is her call may affect her viewership but gotta respect the personal boundaries
it is so true it is so true like some of you guys are so kind and like understanding when it comes
to stuff like that oh is that like really feudi beauty if it is oh my god i love you hi hi um
oh my god i got my flustered futy beauty what were we saying
what were we saying like i have a bunch of people in my brain what was i saying oh my god
um what were we talking about for real is it weird how thousands of people watch you yes it's
very weird oh my god so what is your channel now q a's about nothing pretty much right no i feel like
we're just in a weird area on my channel right now and i'm totally fine with that um what time is it
by the way okay so it's 10 that means i have to get off of here soon
um there's something i have to do but uh yeah so i think i will go live
tomorrow for a little bit longer um obviously members chat of course remember chat always
don't be afraid of falling falling