North Korea.
When President Obama left office,
he warned Donald Trump that Kim Jong-un's nuclear threat
would be his biggest challenge.
Well, that and learning to read.
But mostly the nuclear challenge.
And after Trump's second summit with the North Korean snowman,
it turns out Obama may have been right.
Breaking news. No deal.
President Trump's high stakes nuclear talks
with Kim Jong-un suddenly break down overnight.
President Trump beginning an 8,000-mile journey home
from Hanoi, empty-handed.
Sometimes you have to walk,
and this was just one of those times.
No concessions, no deal, no final photo op.
A closing ceremony scheduled to celebrate an agreement scrapped.
Even lunch was canceled with the table already set.
Wow.
You know something must have gone wrong
when these two turn down lunch.
Wow.
(laughter and applause)
Although, I bet after they left the room,
Kim Jong-un came back, and he was like,
"Uh, can I get this lunch to go, please?
"There's a lot of hungry people in my country,
and I want to eat this in front of them. Yeah?"
But yes, after months of anticipation,
nuclear talks between the U.S. and North Korea
have completely broken down.
And I don't know about you, but I was shocked,
because my boy Trump has been telling us
that he and Kim Jong-un are good.
And I mean, like, real good.
I mean, we have a good chemistry together.
Kim Jong-un. We have a great...
Chairman Kim, we have a great chemistry.
I like him. He likes me. The relationship is good.
We go back and forth, and then we fell in love, okay?
No, really. He wrote me beautiful letters.
And they're great letters.
We fell in love.
You see? You see?
Trump and Kim fell in love.
And I know that sounds weird, but when you think about it,
Kim Jong-un is totally Donald Trump's type, right?
All of Trump's best relationships
are with people who are half his age
and don't speak English. It works.
That's when the relationship be best.
That's what I'm saying.
And I'll be honest. I'll be honest.
When this summit started,
it seemed like love was still in the air.
The day started with the promise of a deal
to get rid of the regime's nuclear weapons.
President Trump and Kim Jong-un
are really enjoying their alone time.
The two leaders took a walk around the pool
at the historic Metropole hotel.
Kim, for the first time,
took questions from the Western press.
Oh, wow. That's right.
Things were going so well that for the first time ever,
Kim Jong-un took a question from the Western press.
And he answered with swag. You heard him?
Like, "Do you plan to do it?"
He's like, "If I wasn't planning to do it, I wouldn't be here."
Yeah. That's amazing. That's progress.
'Cause, I mean, in North Korea
when a reporter asks him a question,
his response is usually, "Great question.
"Feed him to the lions!
"And then feed the lions to me.
They wouldn't give me that lunch to go."
So, if everything started out great,
what turned their love affair sour?
Well, it's the same thing that turns most relationships sour.
They both just wanted different things.
The U.S. was hoping for more concrete steps from Pyongyang
towards a deal that is verifiable and enforceable.
There was a fundamental disagreement.
Kim Jong-un wants the crushing sanctions on his country lifted
before dismantling his nuclear program.
Basically, they wanted
the sanctions lifted in their entirety,
and we couldn't do that.
They were willing to denuke a large portion
of the areas that we wanted,
but we couldn't give up all of the sanctions for that.
Oh, man. So that's what happened.
Kim wanted Trump to give everything up,
but before he did,
Trump wanted guarantees in exchange.
Classic relationship dilemma.
Yeah. Trump was like,
"Kim, if I'm gonna open my trade to you,
then we need to make this official."
Kim was like, "Official?
"Why we got to put labels on this, baby?
"Huh? We have fun. Isn't that all that matters?
Remember our trip to Singapore? Come on, man."
Donald was like, "I know,
"but it's just that people are saying
"you're taking advantage of me.
I'm always flying to you. You're never flying to me."
He's like, "Donny, Donny, baby, I told you, man.
"Once my economy takes off,
I'll be flying to you all the time, man."
He's like, "I just don't understand
why you won't let me check your nuclear sites."
He's like, "Oh, you don't trust me, man?
"You don't trust me, Donny?
"I say there's no nukes, there's no nukes, man.
You want to check my sites? Fine, check the sites!"
And Donald was like, "Okay. Thank..."
"No, you're not gonna check the sites!
"There's no love without trust, Donny. That was a test.
China was right about you. I'm out!"
And Donald was like, "No, Kim, wait.
"Kim! Kim!
I need to build a wall around my heart."
(crying)
(applause)
That's how it all went down.
(cheering and applause)
And, now, even though Kim Jong-un
made Trump fly to the other side of the world for nothing,
Trump still believes that they can work things out.
When we walked away, it was a... very friendly walk.
We shook hands.
We, uh... You know, there's a--
there's a warmth that we have.
Now, I hope that stays. I think it will.
I want to keep the relationship.
We will keep the relationship.
Uh, we'll see what happens over the next period of time.
Aw, shame, Donald. This is so tough to watch, man,
'cause we've all-- we've all been there.
We really have all been there.
You told your friends this was gonna work out.
And, despite the warnings, you still carried on.
And now you're trying to save face,
because you think everyone's judging you,
which we totally are.
But instead of dragging this out, Donald,
I think it's time to accept that maybe, just maybe,
Kim is just not that into you.