Yeah!
Okay. We got pizza rolls,
pizza balls, pizza tots,
pizza puffs, and duck-ala-range.
Pizza!
Get hyped, kids!
Coming to the stage to sing Happy Birthday!
Give a big “wow” to the Cheese Master of Beremonies,
Alberto, and his fun time band!
Cheery Tomato, and President Pepperoni!
Bonjuorno, kiddies.
I hear someone's a year older today,
and I'm not talking about my underwear.
Uh...
[laughing]
Go, Ghost Bear!
He's the greatest ever.
He's gonna win number 200, tonight!
Buddy, come on.
You know, wrestling is bogus.
They always pull their punches.
Even I could be Ghost Bear.
I call this one the three star hurricane!
You think Ghost Bear can match these moves?
- Uh, here we go. - Every time.
You take that back, Leo.
No one beats Ghost Bear.
Wuh ha.
You know what? That's fine. You have it.
I'll have the of the next last piece of pizza.
Thanks, D.
The moon was full, like a big pie of pizza.
And that can only mean one thing.
Pizza week.
Pizza week!
And see.
Everybody, set your stomachs to
I'm not stoppin' until I explode mode.
It's time we get our pizza on.
Oh.
Ah.
Whoa.
Ugh. Ewe. Gross.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not for you.
Prove you're a champion?
Oh, this is definitely for me.
Well, no, it's not. You, my friend, are not a champion.
- Sorry. - But you see, Bone Man?
And can I call you Bone Man?
I am a champion, and I want to know what's behind your rope.
Well, you need not be concerned with the [spanish]
Or as you would call it, the Maze of Death.
Ominous, but also a question.
When I solve your Maze of Death, what do I get?
You get your picture immortalized
on a wall of champions.
Also, pizza. The World's Greatest Pizza.
Well, guess whose face is about to go on that wall?
I've solved all kinds of mazes.
You're looking at the maze master, mister.
Be warned.
In this maze, the use of mystic powers is strictly forbidden.
No mystic powers.
Perfect. I never touch the stuff.
I'm old school.
Awe, fine.
Would you like to enter alone?
You know what? Make it for four.
Because what's the point of being a champion
if you can't rub it in your brother's face?
Nom nom nom!
Is that pizza looking at me?
Eat us. We are delicious.
Uh, guys, could we maybe just order cheese?
What? You mean not get the Super Creepy Supreme?
I wish, just once,
we could go to a normal pizza spot.
But you know, we can't go into human places
with, ah, this whole situation.
Embrace it, April. You're just a magnet for weirdness.
I know. It's just, sometimes a girl just needs normal. Ugh.
What do you mean, what's not normal about this?
Get ready for the delicious flavors and complex emotions
of our first stop, and my personal favorite,
Lou Mike Tony's Pizza!
No!!!
Where'd it go?
Oh, I think it closed.
My phone says it's open till ten.
Who would do this?
Why, Pizza Supreme in the sky?
Why do you test us like this?
Why aren't you guys more upset?
- Oh. - Oh man! This hurts me.
Uh, I'm very sad.
You didn't like Lou Mike Tony's?
Yeah, I found a bug once, and that was really it for me.
[crying]
Okay, now that we've all moved on,
let's get us some of my favorite, Tony Lou's Pizza!
- Oh no, no, no! - No!!
I only pretended to care
when it happened to Mikey's favorite place,
but now that it's happened to me, I hurt.
Yes!
Whoa!
Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for the first slice.
Me and Mikey are up.
It's funny how rap always starts
against Mr. Only Chooses Scissors.
One, two, three...
- Rock! - Scissors!
Oh, not again!
How do you do it?
[laughing]
Huh?
Hmm.
Pizza... slice... gone! Which you creepoids took it?
Huh?
The table's eating our pizza!
It's the chair!
Wait. Pops?
Mmm.
Yes, And so begins your next lesson.
Let me guess. How to starve your enemies to death?
No. Today you learn the art of ninja stealth and invisibility.
The foundation of every great ninja.
Lights Off Jitsu!
What? Oh.
You couldn't a done this last week,
when Mikey cooked brussels sprouts?
Sweet salvation.
Hey!
My salvation!
No. What you doing? Don't eat that run of the mill
garbage when you can have The World's Greatest Pizza.
Oh, please. Every place in New York
claims to have the world's greatest pizza.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but this pizza's behind a velvet rope.
Velvet rope, guys.
Velvet rope.
You know, that means quality!
Hey, Leo, what is this place?
Though you said we were getting pizza.
It's nothing.
We've just got to solve an easy, straightforward maze first.
[echoing]
Wait. What? I didn't sign up for a pre-meal maze.
Yeah. This'll looks really hard.
My tumbus wants easy food.
Don't worry. Just follow me. Onward, boys.
When we do make it to the end,
which I'm now calling, the must say yes stage.
What are we gonna ask for?
Hmm.
Well, this year I was thinking
we could ask for a... a mir...
Ah, he's got nothing. We're dead.
Hey, I got something, alright? Like a um...
Uranium!
Oh, we should absolutely ask for uranium!
I mean, if I could finally get my hands on a little of that,
we would be virtually unstoppa...
What about a brick oven for pizza?
Who's gonna clean that?
What we should ask for is matching unicorn onesies.
Those are sick! Pun intended.
And I nailed it
[grunting]
Enough!
[screaming]
[grunting]
We're at the center of the maze.
We got the pizza!
- Yeah! - Yes!
I am the champion!
Cheaters!
Who dares to try and eat my pizza
without following the strict customer agreement?
That cannot be good.
[screaming]
You can't escape me!
Oh!
[grunting]
I am the assistant manager of this maze!
And the maze does what I want!
Pending corporate approval!
What do Lou Mike Tony's and Tony Lou's pizzerias have in common?
Besides both being pizza places?
Exactly.
They are both pizza places, but not just any pizza places.
Two of our favorite pizza places.
And what's the key thing they have in common?
Uh, besides having the same name but in different order?
Do you think that's important?
No.
Whatever. It's us.
We are the link between all these places.
Errgo... whoever is behind this isn't only after pizza.
They're after us.
And clearly, we all know that it's Pizzasaurus!
The evil spawn of the Lochness Monster and Bigfoot!
It's taking over Pizza Week!
Pizzasaurus? We've been over this.
None of those things are real.
Calm down!
Everything's gonna be fine.
We just need to eat.
So, let's get to the next place as fast as possible.
To the Shell Hogs!
Let's get our pizza on!
[indiscernible] is in the house!
Swoopin' in to save the day.
That was fast. Actually, I just needed Donnie.
We know. We just came for the free pizza.
Remember, blend in like you're a birthday robot.
Aye aye, Captain.
Hey, buddy, I'm from the...
oh I don't know, Sweedish Chef Awards.
And I'm here to give some kind of golden rolling pin.
Nice. But I just need you to fill out a simple questionnaire.
And anyway, what's... [indiscernible]?
Ah! The coveted golden rolling pin!
Sir Rupert's address is written on a note
under that stack of plates.
And if you just move them to the sink, I will retrieve it.
The stack on the right or the left?
Nevermind, I'll get both.
[grunting]
What the... ?
So, about that address?
And you can take this sweaty apron
that Rupert Swaggert left behind!
[grunting]
President Pepperoni wants you for my punching bag!
Huh? Ooh!
[grunting]
Alright, making it rain!
Ha!
[grunting]
Ow!
Four score and twenty more tickets!
Ow. Oh, you're so cute! But... so mean!
Why do I always go for your type?
This doesn't make Cheery cheery.
Uh. Ahh!
Oh I'll never eat Ketchup again.
You all try to cheat me out of my
World's Greatest [indiscernible]!
How could you call the World's Greatest?
How do you know we haven't had better?
What do you mean, better?
You're not talking about Famous Manitor Pizza on 19th, are you?
Ah, man, you talkin' about FMP on 19?
Oh, I love that place.
[screaming]
That garbage those idiots call pizza!
Wait until you try mine!
Ahh!.
This pizza good.
[chuckling]
Best you've ever had?
Really appreciate you letting us go.
It was the right thing to do.
Who's your champion now, guys?
Hmm.
They'll come around.
Like I said. Pizza week is a magical time.
It can bring families back together.
For too long my family has been torn apart by pizza.
But no more!
Today we come together as famous Lou Mike Tony
Tony's Pizza!
It could create new beginnings.
Edit My costumin' friends!
One, two, three, four.
Pizza pig!
Munch, munch, in the pizza pit!
Eat some crust!
Crunch, crunch, gonna eat some crust!
It can make dreams come true.
And that's how for one week, or five week days...
and two weekend days, pizza Week was saved... by me.
Who are you talking to?
[roaring]