It's D-Day, World War II, and Canada has joined in the international struggle to politely
ask Hitler to stop being a mass-murdering Nazi dickhead- by sending her soldiers to
kill as many Nazis as they can.
Amongst the men charging the beaches of France that day, is one Canadian infantryman, serving
with the Regiment de la Chaudiere, Leo Major.
In his early twenties, Major joined the Canadian military years earlier in a bid to prove to
his estranged father that he was someone to be proud of.
Major would soon prove that as he single-handedly helped put a considerable dent in the rapidly
shrinking global supply of Nazis.
Major manages to make it off the landing beach intact, while many around him are felled by
German artillery and machine gun fire.
Making his way past the bunkers guarding the beach head, he stumbles across a German communications
team working from the back of an armored truck.
A proper Canadian through and through, Major proceeds to politely introduce himself to
the Nazi soldiers, with his bullets.
Moments later several dead Nazis are all that remains of the communications team, and Major
has managed to single-handedly secure an incredible intelligence victory for the Allies- the armored
truck is loaded down with German radios and codebooks, a veritable treasure trove that
will allow the Allies to monitor German radio broadcasts for weeks to come.
Days later the Germans make a compelling counter-argument for the Allies to please leave Europe, sending
huge formations of tanks and infantry against the Normandy beaches.
The allies sternly refuse the invitation to leave Europe in Nazi hands, and Major soon
finds himself going up against a squad of elite Nazi Schuztstaffel- the feared SS.
In a fierce firefight, Major and the men of his unit managed to destroy the SS, but not
before one of the men threw a phosphorus grenade, which exploded and coated part of Major's
face with burning phosphorus.
Rushed to a field hospital, Major suffered some burns to his face, but tragically, he
also suffered the loss of his left eye, which the phosphorus had rendered blind.
The medical officer in charge informed Major that his part in the war was done, and that
he would soon be returned home.
Major however had different plans.
He marched straight to his commanding officer and demanded that he be allowed to remain,
pointing out the very obvious in that he had in fact been born with two eyes, because God
had seen fit to give him a spare just for this very reason.
After proving that a man really only needed one eye to look down the barrel of a rifle
or into a scope and kill Nazis, Major was allowed to stay.
From then on he would wear a trademark eye patch and begin referring to himself as a
pirate, which if you lose an eye killing four members of the most elite Nazi warriors, you
totally get to do.
From this moment on Leo Major would become a bonafide Nazi-eradicating pirate sniper,
and we double-dog dare you to tell us of a more awesome job title in history.
Canada's pirate sniper would fight across France, gradually helping the allies push
back the Nazis and liberating town after town.
A year later as Major joined Canadian forces fighting in the Netherlands, he was sent to
scout alone for a patrol of fresh recruits who it was feared had gotten lost.
Making his way to a small dutch town in freezing cold rain, Major spotted two German soldiers
walking along a dike, and immediately took one prisoner, using him as bait to try and
capture the other.
The second soldier however- possibly because he believed a real-life pirate had just time-traveled
to the present and now demanded his surrender- panicked and tried to go for his weapon, forcing
Major to shoot him dead.
By now the allies had learned that Germans made some of the finest soldiers in the world
because they were really good at listening to orders, so Major made his way to the unit's
command post with his prisoner in tow and captured the unit's commanding officer.
Major ordered the German to surrender his unit, and because if you yell at a Nazi loud
enough with an authoritative voice they pretty much do what you tell them to, the majority
of the German unit surrendered.
Three men however raised objection to being captured by a single possibly time-traveling
Canadian pirate, and Major silenced those objections by killing them dead.
Marching his nearly 100 prisoners back to Allied lines, nearby Waffen-SS units saw an
entire unit being held prisoner by a single man and opened fire.
Major however considered this nothing more than a rude interruption of his afternoon
stroll and ignored the SS troops, though the SS managed to kill seven of their own and
injure several others.
Upon returning back to friendly lines, Major was chosen to receive the Distinguished Conduct
Medal, the oldest British medal for gallantry and second only to the Victoria Cross.
Major however refused the medal, as if he accepted it then it would be British General
Bernard Montgomery who pinned it on his chest, and in Major's view, Montgomery was a puffed
up blowhard interested only in his own glory.
Given the fact that Montgomery had just sacrificed the lives of thousands of Allied paratroopers
in the disastrous Operation Market Garden two months prior, Major had a rather good
point.
When a secret Nazi program to travel back in time and stop the first pirate from being
born so that Major would never exist failed to stop his rampage across Europe, it would
be a mine that nearly knocked Canada's pirate-sniper out of the fight for good.
In February 1945, Major was assisting a military chaplain load German corpses from a burned-out
Tiger tank into an armored personnel carrier.
The chaplain and the driver then sealed themselves in the front compartment while Major rode
in the back with the dead.
Minutes later the APC ran over an anti-tank mine, and later Major would recall that he
remembered only hearing a loud blast and the feeling of being thrown up into the air and
coming down hard on his back.
He would awake later over two medical officers doing their best to treat the wounds across
Major’s body, which had very suddenly developed an allergic reaction to landmine explosions.
Drifting into consciousness, the first thing Major asked was if the Chaplain was ok, though
the medics ignored the question- the chaplain and driver had both been killed in the blast.
Major was rushed to a hospital, the truck having to stop every fifteen minutes so that
the medics could administer a fresh morphine injection for the terrible pain in his back.
Drifting in and out of consciousness, Major eventually was made stable, though the doctors
had terrible news for him: he had broken his back in three places, and had also shattered
four ribs and both ankles.
The war was over for Leo Major, the Nazis had at last eliminated their pirate-sniper
scourge.
Or that's what would have happened, if Major hadn't sought out a second opinion on his
injuries- from himself.
A week later, Major fled the military hospital, and we have to remind you here that he did
this with a back broken in three places, four shattered ribs, and while fleeing on two broken
ankles.
If the military was going to be stupid enough to send him home for something as measly as
debilitating, crippling injuries, then he would just have to get away from the military
for a while.
Hitching a ride to the Dutch town of Nijmegen, Major stayed with a family he had met while
previously passing through the area.
The family gladly took him in, and Major informed his broken body that it had exactly thirty
days to fix itself before Major would return to the business of killing Nazis.
Major would end up only giving his shattered bones 28 days to heal though, as everyone
knew that the war would be winding down soon and then there'd be no more Nazis to crush-
at least not until 2018.
Major returned to his unit and luckily for the Allies, his commander decided that it
would be best to not punish a man who had single-handedly captured almost 100 Nazis
just for going AWOL so he could avoid being sent home.
A month later, Major would repeat this incredible feat, though in a far more spectacular fashion.
When asking for volunteers for a dangerous recon mission, Major and his best friend Corporal
Willie Arseneault both stepped forward.
They would be tasked with reconning the dutch city of Zwolle, which was currently under
the control of Nazis.
Their mission was to discover the number of German defenders and then contact the Dutch
resistance, so that later a full assault could be launched on the town.
After arriving at Zwolle, Major and Arseneault decided that a full-blown battle would devastate
the beautiful little town, and so instead they chose the next rational course of action:
simply capture the entire town by themselves.
Defended by well over 100 Germans, the duo snuck into the town with the same trick in
mind that Major had used earlier in the war- simply capture the commanding officer and
order the Germans to surrender, then shoot any that declined.
Unfortunately Arseneault gave away the two's position, and a firefight erupted, during
which Arseneault was killed.
This proved to be a slight mistake for the Germans, as watching his best friend get gunned
down drove Major to go all super-saiyan and murder the living crap out of two of the Germans
before the other dozen fled for their lives.
Still Major persisted with his self-appointed mission, knowing that a full-scale battle
would devastate the civilians trapped in the town.
Ambushing a German officer, Major told the man that Canadian artillery would begin firing
on the town at six am, causing untold casualties amongst the Germans and civilians alike.
Believing that they were facing insurmountable odds, the German agreed that holding the town
would be foolish, and so Major returned his weapon to him and let him leave unharmed,
hoping that the officer would warn the rest of the Germans about the terrible bombardment
they would soon be facing.
Then Major decided to fool the rest of the Germans into believing that the town was under
full-scale attack by Canadian forces, and thus he ran across the town like a madman,
firing his submachine gun and throwing grenades, making such a racket that the Germans were
fooled into believing the Canadians were attacking.
As he ran across the town raising hell, Major would regularly run into groups of German
soldiers, and ten times throughout the night he captured groups of up to 10 men and ran
them back to the Canadian troops waiting outside the town.
After handing over each batch of prisoners, Major simply rushed back into the town to
keep waging World War II all by himself do it all over again.
Eventually, he discovered the Gestapo HQ and set the building on fire.
When he then discovered the SS headquarters by accident, he got into a close quarters
firefight that saw four Nazis dead and the other four flee for their lives.
By 4:30 am all the German soldiers in the town had ran for their lives, and Major had
successfully captured an entire city by himself.
For his feat, Major was awarded the Distinguished Conduct Medal, which he accepted this time.
Sadly for Major, World War II was soon over, and he returned to civilian life to work as
a pipe fitter.
Just five years later though the Korean war broke out, and while it wouldn't be the same
as killing Nazis, Major decided that killing Communists would simply have to do.
He volunteered for service and he joined a scout and sniper platoon.
A few years later, cease fire talks were planned between both sides.
Knowing that a cease fire would lock each side's forces into their current positions,
both sides attempted to capture strategic positions that they could then hold on to
and reinforce during the cease fire.
In one corner of the war, American troops held a spot known as Hill 355, a commanding
position which allowed whichever side that held it to control over twenty miles of terrain
around it.
The Chinese decided that they wanted that hill for themselves, and sent 40,000 men against
the US's 3rd Infantry.
After two days of fighting the Americans were forced to retreat, and after a failed counterattack,
the hill remained in Chinese hands.
To make matters worse, the Chinese army had also taken up a position on Hill 227 near
Hill 355, which in effect left UN forces nearly surrounded.
Major, now in command of his own platoon of scout snipers, was immediately dispatched
to shore up Canadian and American defenses.
However, deciding that the best defense is a good offense, Major once more chose to creatively
interpret his orders and led his men as they snuck into the middle of Chinese positions
on Hill 355 in the dead of night.
At a signal from Major, the men all opened fire, and the Chinese, confused and panicked
at why and how they were being fired at from within their own ranks, fled the hill.
An hour later though the Chinese regrouped, and two divisions, numbering at a staggering
14,000 men, launched a counter-attack.
Reinforced with some Canadian and American troops, the UN forces were still hopelessly
outnumbered, and yet the Chinese had failed to take into account the fact that Major was
in fact, a certified Nazi-murdering pirate sniper.
Major's own commanding officers also failed to take that fact into account, and when he
was ordered to retreat, Major noted that there was little if any cover for his men if they
tried to make a run for it, and thus he declined the order and proceeded to politely request
the Chinese get off his hill by killing hundreds of them.
Holding against incredible odds for an entire night, Major would go on to earn his second
Distinguished Conduct Medal.
After the Korean war, Major settled into his civilian life and into raising a son to ensure
that the pirate bloodline would not end.
He would return to the dutch city of Zwolle regularly and befriend its inhabitants, who
thanked him each time for liberating their city and sparing them the horror and suffering
of being caught in a full-blown battle.
The city would go on to honor him by naming a major road after him, and in 2008 Major
would finally be laid to rest at the age of 87.
Or at least that's the official story, and we here at The Infographics channel believe
that as a possible time-traveling pirate, Major actually left our timeline to find earths
in alternate dimensions where Hitler had won, liberating one timeline after another from
the rule of Nazi dickheads.
Think you would've had what it took to fight alongside Leo Major?
Did the Nazis really try to stop him from being born by traveling back in time and killing
the first pirate?
Let us know in the comments!
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