♪ Chicago Chicago ♪
♪ It's a city that's exciting It's a city that's inviting ♪
♪ It's a city for a woman Just like me ♪
♪ There's a lake They call Lake Michigan ♪
♪ I think I'm really fitting in ♪
♪ This city is my perfect cup Of tea ♪
♪ Chicago Chicago ♪
♪ I'm so sick of it You're attention deficit ♪
♪ Never listen You never listen ♪
♪ I'm so sick of it So I'll throw another fit ♪
♪ Never listen You never listen ♪
♪ I scream your name ♪
♪ It always stays the same ♪
♪ I scream and shout So what I'm gonna do now ♪
♪ Is freak the freak out ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa-oh ♪
We have a chopped salad for the gentleman.
Oh, yeah, that's some legit salad.
And for the lady, a lobster salad with avocado.
What?! What is this?
Uh, well, you ordered--
Where's the manager?
Uh, Tori, maybe you--
Stay out of this.
Well.
Uh, ma'am, if you would rather have something else, I'd be--
No!
What I'd rather do is you get fired
for being an incompetent pretty turd!
Uh, check, please.
My salad.
Excuse me, young lady.
Give me those ravioli!
...this upset over-- Oh my stars. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
I'm gonna kill you.
Oh, no.
Man, you better run before the girl--
[screaming]
Rex!
Trina, I'm teaching a class right now.
How dare you call my one woman show a comedy?
I had to follow my conscience!
Trina! Out of this classroom.
I know where you live.
No, you don't. W-We moved last year.
What's your new address?
3707 Cahuenga. It's a duplex, we're on top.
Got it.
I am so upset.
♪ Hey you, what's your face ♪
♪ Get back in line It's not a race ♪
♪ I am thinking, man Tell me the dream ♪
♪ I'll show you the plan You don't know what you got ♪
♪ Every time I hit the spot Red stop, green go ♪
♪ Make up your mind I'm starting the show ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ You haven't seen the best Of me ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ What you get's Not what you see ♪
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ I'll give ya something To believe ♪
♪ You haven't seen the best Of me ♪
♪ Eyh eyh eyh eyh eyh eyh eyh ♪
♪ We're heading for the sky ♪
♪ And we'll get lost in it 'Cause ♪
♪ All I want, all I want All I want is everything ♪
♪ And I will pose if I wanna And I will vogue like Madonna ♪
♪ I might not dance like M.J. R.I.P. ♪
♪ But I will give the best Of me ♪
♪ All I want is everything ♪
[screaming]
How gross is this food?
So gross.
What are these fried clams?
Maybe. Are clams supposed to have hair?
Oh. Ew.
- Mm. - Mm.
See, this doesn't feel anything like a date, right?
Total opposite of a date.
To seafood from a truck.
Seafood from a truck.
[vomiting, coughing]
Don't. Don't eat the clams.
[coughing]
Who are those flowers for?
Better be for Beck.
They're for Trina.
What?
Well, I heard the boys in the locker room
say that Beck asked you out,
so I thought I'd ask you too.
Look out, Shapiro!
[screaming]
Trina wants me, not you idiots!
[fighting]
Boys! Don't fight over me!
Boys, come on.
[fighting]
- Andre no! - Hey.
Don't look! It's disgusting!
[screaming]
Dad, come quick! They're killing each other!
Hi, I'm Trina Vega.
Hello, Trina.
Oh, that's a funky taste.
All right, Trina, take it away.
[music playing]
♪ Can't stop ♪
♪ You know I'll never give it up ♪
Oh, I think this coconut milk is affecting me.
♪ In this life ♪
Oh, yes.
♪ Gonna live it up ♪
♪ So everybody put your hands ♪ ♪ In the air ♪
Oh.
♪ Party That we're getting into ♪
Roman soldiers?
♪ Then the joke is on you ♪
Oh, sweet mitosis. Look what she can do.
Oh look! Now she's a hot dog!
I love hot dogs! Ah, sing, hot dog!
♪ Then the joke is on you ♪
♪ You don't have to be afraid To put your dream in action ♪
♪ You're never gonna fade You'll be the main attraction ♪
♪ Not a fantasy Just remember me ♪
♪ When it turns out right 'Cause you know ♪
♪ That if you live In your imagination ♪
♪ Tomorrow you'll be Everybody's fascination ♪
♪ In my victory Just remember me ♪
♪ When I make it shine ♪
[music playing]
I can't get up. You'd better, dock the boat.
We're not docking.
I'll captain this boat.
You? Don't be ridiculous.
[coughing]
That little girl is sick.
Help me. Please. Help. [coughing[
We've got to get her to New Orleans by daybreak.
You can't captain a boat. You're just a woman.
I may be a woman... but that doesn't mean
I'm not the best dang steam boat captain
this here river's ever seen.
[boat whistle blowing]
♪ Now, men will always tell you How they do it all ♪
♪ While women do the work You never see ♪
♪ But so as it would happen ♪
♪ You're in great need Of a captain ♪
♪ oh A captain And that captain is me ♪
♪ And so as it would happen ♪
♪ We're in great need Of a captain ♪
♪ Well a captain Yes a captain is she ♪
[babbling]
Mandy!
You know, I can't understand you.
Not with your speech impediment.
[babbling]
Uh, you're- you're hungry?
[babbling]
You're frightened?
[babbling]
You're sticky?
[babbling]
You're Canadian?
[babbling]
You like my pants?
[babbling]
Oh, I don't understand.
Mere.
You want me to come closer?
Mere.
Oh, Mandy. Wait. What is?
Ho, ho, oh. Oh.
I can hear your thoughts.
[whispering] Tori.
What do you mean
- you're not the same as me? - Yeah?
You wrote this play?
Yeah. Ya like it?
You're not of this Earth?
What does that mean? You? You're from another planet?
I don't believe you.
[babbling]
Okay, come on. If you were an alien,
why would you pretend to be my sister?
Here in this simple ranch house?
[babbling]
Okay. Okay, then prove it.
You ready for this? Yeah? Get excited.
[squeaking]
Ooh, how does she get her feet so white?
Oo-oo-ooh.
♪ Now no matter What it is I have to do ♪
♪ I'm not afraid to try ♪
♪ And you need to know That you're the reason why ♪
[cheering]