- We're going to take some random words and rap about them.
Yeah, I'll give you like 10 seconds thinking time.
Wait, wait one second.
(audience laughs)
You get thinking time.
Also, about three and a half weeks ago at the Comedy Cellar,
someone said gaba gool.
And that is probably going to be released in about four
weeks online.
So I can't take the suggestion twice,
but you now have 10 seconds thinking time to
come up with more.
(elevator music)
People over here, what would you like a rap about?
- [Audience Member] Dave Chappelle loves transgenders.
- Dave Chappelle loves transgenders.
Yes.
(audience cheering)
Okay.
That's the suggestion.
Dave Chappelle loves transgenders.
Not even transgender people, he loves them.
Let's come to this.
Are you pointing at this person?
Yes.
What would you like to rap up?
- [Audience Member] Riding motorcycles through Vietnam.
Riding motorcycles through Vietnam?
My gosh.
You look incredibly youthful to have been there.
Were you riding motorcycles through Vietnam?
I'm assuming you mean present day Vietnam.
Yeah.
Cool. Cool.
No, you just reacted as if you'd never heard of the war.
You were like,
" no, how else would you take that?
Yeah, yeah through Vietnam, It's a beautiful Asian country."
Yeah. Right?
Motorcycles through Vietnam.
I guess that'd be terrible if you, I mean,
it's sad that like your a country's name is forever
associated with a it's awful in it.
I mean,
that's how every other country feels when they hear the word
America as well.
Okay, so Dave Chappelle loves transgenders,
riding motorcycles through Vietnam.
Well yes, yes New Zealand friend,
because you clearly are a man.
You clearly are going to beat the shit out of me.
If I don't take it.
- [Audience Member] Ted lasso coach and all the blacks.
- Ted Lasso coaching all the blacks, okay.
I really wish I'd seen the show.
No, no.
I know it's made to be very good.
It's got a lot of British comedians in who are very funny.
So there was a hand up from behind you as well.
Who? Yeah.
- [Audience Member] Jacob Rees-Mogg is a wild man.
- Jacob - what was the final words?
Okay.
It's going to be so niche.
Jacob Rees-Mogg, is, he's, I do ...
He's like the whitest man in England.
He is not my dad, thanks for asking.
He's a member of parliament for Northeast Somerset.
He's a real piece of shit.
He's quite right-wing and old fashioned.
He loves like Fox hunting.
He lounges on the benches in the house of parliament.
He's really long and lanky, but apparently he's a wild man.
Okay.
And then people over here and I've just realized,
person behind this person with the antennae.
Have you been able to see anything for the whole show?
Yeah.
I've just had like a bullseye over my face, just a target.
So people over here, what would you like to rap about?
- [Audience Member] Realizing you're in the matrix
while doing the rap.
Oh, oh okay.
Yeah.
Realizing I'm in the matrix while doing the rap.
And then I guess I didn't come to the back of the room.
Hey, back of the room, what would you like a rap about?
- [Audience Member] Protein folding.
Well, that's good,
but you're not the back of the room there.
They're back of the room.
Do you have anything better than protein folding,
back of the room?
- [Audience Member] The Fermi paradox.
- The Fermi Paradox?
Is that the thing about intelligent life in the universe?
Yeah?
Oh, wait, wait.
Did someone disagree?
- [Audience Member] No, that's it.
- No, that's it.
Is it, is it the one?
Is it the one about like,
if there was intelligent life in the universe, it like,
it can only be us because otherwise it would have got in
touch with us.
Okay, cool.
I'm just checking.
I don't want to be like, yeah fucking
spitin about it.
And you're like, mate you just wrapped about a pizzeria.
Why are you on about?
So let's remind you,
Dave Chappelle loves transgenders,
We have Jacob Rees-Mogg is a wild man,
Ted lasso coaching the all blacks,
riding a motorcycle through Vietnam,
the Fermi paradox, maybe protein folding and
realize I'm in the matrix, this is too many suggestions.
Okay, right.
Lets drop that beat good sir.
Let's rap about all that shit for you.
It's a, it's gonna be fun.
Yeah.
(audience cheering)
Okay.
Nice.
♪ Big mind in the third row starting with you. ♪
♪ Let me coach rugby, named Ted Lasso. ♪
♪ Ted Lasso, technically like the rope. ♪
♪ Maybe is a key, we, your one hope is not Jonah Lomu ♪
♪ R.I.P He was the biggest guy that ever played rugby. ♪
♪ Look how excited he is, yeah, ♪
♪ he really knows that the only key we know is Jason Momoa, ♪
♪ but that's fine, Ted over he slaves this. ♪
♪ Gettin' those boys, Jason Sedakis. ♪
♪ Used to soccer in the UK, ♪
♪ But down under in New Zealand, what would we say? ♪
♪ Like, aye hello mate welcome to the team, ♪
♪ I sat slightly Australian gimme team. ♪
♪ Don't worry about that, all there again. ♪
♪ I sleeped on the floor, can you leave me a pen? ♪
♪ That's what they all say. ♪
♪ Yeah, I stroll into the lab talk about ♪
♪ Protein folding. ♪
♪ I'm looking in that all the cells and then a scientist in ♪
♪ the corner, she yells like, Jesus Christ. ♪
♪ Look at what's happening. ♪
♪ I'm looking at the time in little folding, ♪
♪ While he's rapping, its coming out. ♪
♪ No hope, you've gotta use a big electron microscope ♪
♪ What does it mean? ♪
♪ It makes up all the microbes and the DNA ATP on those. ♪
♪ The mitochondria, made me ponder why, ♪
♪ Wait, Jesus Christ. ♪
♪ I've got pain behind my eyes. ♪
♪ There's a plug at the back of my head. ♪
♪ I thought I was alive, but I'm technically dead. ♪
♪ I'm up here in a rap, it hurts me, I say ouchie. ♪
♪ A movie made by the Wachowski's. ♪
♪ I'm getting in the bath, looking round quickly, ♪
♪ There's Morpheus, there Trinity, ♪
♪ They're like Neo, what is even happenin? ♪
♪ I thought I was a British guy who did the rappin ♪
♪ In the bell house. ♪
♪ They're like nah, you're wearing black latex, ♪
♪ Jack, you're on the big screen, what's next? ♪
♪ 1999 it was released, and since then ♪
♪ Well, they've had less grief. ♪
♪ The Wachowskis, why? ♪
♪ I might befriend you. ♪
♪ Why? Because they came out as transgender. ♪
♪ They, yes they did. ♪
♪ One's called Laya and the other one, I'm not sure, ♪
♪ So I can't say the name, but they made ♪
♪ Sense-8 for Netflix. ♪
♪ And what else did they do? ♪
♪ Had such a big hit. ♪
♪ A man who doesn't go down well who doesn't ♪
♪ Go down well in certain places, that's ♪
♪ Dave Chapelle, he's from Ohio. ♪
♪ Grew up in NYC. He did that recently wisely, ♪
♪ Put it out there, people protested, ♪
♪ They're like, Oh Dave, yes you quested and suggested, ♪
♪ You said, women are women and everyone else cause the ♪
♪ People are winnin'. ♪
♪ And went on stage with Joe Rogan recently, ♪
♪ He said, if you see a Trans person, give them coffee. ♪
♪ Say, its from me, Dave Chapelle. ♪
♪ You've got to keep up with the news as well. ♪
♪ He probably does love them. ♪
♪ He says that they're in the special. ♪
♪ Everyone's tense they be testing their mental. ♪
♪ Like, Chris can you say this? What's the plan? ♪
♪ Let me talk about this, man in Vietnam. ♪
♪ You'll be goin over there, its ever so vital, ♪
♪ To have SPF on your motorcycle. ♪
♪ Cause you're pale, and your hairs slightly red. ♪
♪ You would burn in Vietnam, people have said. ♪
♪ You'd be there on the back, like single chair. ♪
♪ Thinking about 'Nam like, I was there. ♪
♪ I was rolling through Saigon, riding on, ♪
♪ My little Kawasaki, Yamaha, that a wild one. ♪
♪ I go, vroom vroom, stepping there keepin' touch. ♪
♪ I see a lady, and she hops on and revs that clutch. ♪
♪ And, I'm like, yo, pretty, do you want to make ♪
♪ A reference to your titties? Or sucky sucky long time. ♪
♪ There, from Full Metal Jaket, that's a quote to a movie ♪
♪ So, please don't attack it. ♪
♪ Don't come back at me, and lob through a lot. ♪
♪ Talk about intelligent life, of Paradox of the ♪
♪ Fermi's. ♪
♪ Yeah, it feels really cool, I prefer the guy who said ♪
♪ Fucking gabagool. ♪
♪ But, I can't be beat by rappin about the meat. ♪
♪ Are we intelligent, did people even reach? ♪
♪ Can they come to us, can they see from the planet? ♪
♪ If they had a laser, would they understand it? ♪
♪ Would they fly down below, to the fellow, ♪
♪ Come in like the aliens there in UFO's, ♪
♪ No, cause they don't exist, so we learned these please ♪
♪ From an italian man called Fermi. ♪
Boom.
(audience cheering)
(air horn)