( APPLAUSE )
GENTLEMEN, AS I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THE LAST COUPLE DAYS,
RIGHT NOW, THERE IS ONE MAJOR QUESTION ON ABSOLUTELY
EVERYONE'S MINDS: WHO WILL BE "PEOPLE" MAGAZINE'S "SEXIEST MAN
ALIVE" FOR 2021?
IN THESE DIVIDED TIMES, IT'S THE LAST THING THAT ALL AMERICANS
CARE ABOUT.
SO, OF COURSE, THERE HAS BEEN RAMPANT SPECULATION IN THE
SEXINESS MARKETS.
ON THURSDAY, THE "NEW YORK POST" REPORTED THAT THE TITLE WOULD GO
TO CHRIS EVANS.
SIMULTANEOUSLY, DWAYNE "THE ROCK" JOHNSON CLAIMED IT WAS
HIS, SAYING HE IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE.
( LAUGHTER )
QUESTION: WILL THESE TWO HAVE TO FIGHT FOR THE TITLE?
AND, IF SO, WILL THEY GET ALL SWEATY AND KIND OF WRESTLE?
THAT MIGHT BE SEXY.
WELL, ALL THE SPECULATION ENDS TONIGHT, BECAUSE IT IS MY
DISTINCT HONOR TO HAVE BEEN CHOSEN BY THE GOOD PEOPLE AT
"PEOPLE" TO BE THE OFFICIAL PERSON TO ANNOUNCE THIS YEAR'S
"SEXIEST MAN ALIVE"!
IT IS NOT A RESPONSIBILITY I TAKE LIGHTLY.
AS AN OFFICIAL SEXINESS ADJUDICATOR, I RAN A THOROUGH
AND COMPREHENSIVE SCIENTIFIC EVALUATION ON DOZENS OF
POTENTIALLY TOP SEXY LIVING MALES.
AND TONIGHT, WE PRESENT A BEHIND-THE-SCENES GLIMPSE OF ONE
OF THOSE CANDIDATES.
JIM?
HELP ME, MATTHEW.
( LAUGHTER )
SEXY MAN.
>> HI.
>> Stephen: UH, EXCUSE ME.
I THINK YOU HAVE THE WRONG ROOM.
THIS IS "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE."
( APPLAUSE )
THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR.
>> Stephen: CONFIDENCE.
THAT'S SEXY.
HAVE A SEAT.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: AND YOUR NAME IS?
>> UH, PAUL RUDD.
>> Stephen: UH, PAUL RUDD, PAUL RUDD, PAUL RUDD...
I DON'T-- I DON'T SEE THAT.
I HAVE A RAUL PUDD?
>> THAT'S PROBABLY A TYPO.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
CORRECTING "PEOPLE," NOT SEXY.
STRIKE AGAINST.
>> BUT NO, YOU FEEL FREE TO CALL ME RAUL PUDD,
ANYTHING IS FINE.
>> Stephen: FLEXIBILITY, THAT IS SEXY.
OKAY, WE'RE BACK IN THE BLACK.
UH, LETS GET STARTED, PAUL.
ARE YOU READY TO BE SWORN IN?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: RAISE YOUR RIGHT HAND AND PUT YOUR LEFT HAND ON
THE PHOTO OF YOUR OWN FACE.
>> UH...
>> Stephen: DID YOU BRING A HEADSHOT?
>> I COULD JUST USE MY OWN FACE?
>> Stephen: YES, OKAY.
I DO SOLEMNLY SWEAR.
>> I DO SOLEMLY SWEAR.
>> Stephen: TO GIVE THE SEXIEST ANSWERS I CAN.
>> TO GIVE THE SEXIEST ANSWERS I CAN.
>> Stephen: TO BE A MAN.
>> TO BE A MAN.
>> Stephen: AND STAY ALIVE.
>> AND STAY ALIVE.
>> Stephen: SO HELP ME McCONAUGHAY.
>> SO HELP ME McCONAUGHAY.
>> Stephen: OKAY, THAT'S GREAT.
YOU'RE READY.
WHEN WAS THE FIRST TIME THAT YOU KNEW THAT YOU WERE SEXY?
>> I GUESS, LIKE, WHEN I WAS...
WHEN I WAS A BABY.
I THINK A BABY.
BUT IT WAS-- I WAS A BABY.
I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SEXY WAS.
I JUST FELT DIFFERENT.
>> Stephen: OKAY, HOW SO?
>> WELL, I HAD A-- I WORE A THONG DIAPER.
MY DIAPER WAS A THONG.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> UM, AND I KNEW THAT THE OTHER KIDS DIDN'T DO THAT.
BUT LOOKING BACK, OBVIOUSLY, THAT'S VERY SEXY, BUT I JUST
THOUGHT IT WAS...
FRENCH.
>> Stephen: OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
WHEN IT COMES TO SEXINESS, WHAT'S YOUR BIGGEST WEAKNESS?
>> OH, BOY, UH... WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I HAVE-- I HAVE A WEIRD FOOT.
I SUFFER FROM A THING CALLED BIG PINKY.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S THAT?
>> WELL, UM...
( LAUGHTER )
AGAINST ME.
>> Stephen: YOU KNOW WHAT?
ONE POINT FOR HONESTY.
THAT'S VULNERABILITY.
LETS LOOK AT SOME OF YOUR SEXY WORK EXPERIENCE.
DID YOU BRING A RESUME?
>> I DID.
>> Stephen: OKAY.
>> CALVIN KLEIN.
>> Stephen: OH, CALVIN KLEIN PERFUME?
>> UH, NO, NO.
I JUST, I JUST RUBBED MY UNDERWEAR ON IT.
( LAUGHTER )
"CLUELESS."
UM, YOU WERE THE LOVE INTEREST THERE, BUT YOU'RE HER BROTHER.
>> WELL, STEP-BROTHER.
>> Stephen: OKAY, PAUL?
THIS IS "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE," NOT PORNIEST MAN ALIVE.
>> IT WAS BASED ON JANE AUSTEN.
>> Stephen: PORN.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: OKAY, ARE YOU LACTOSE INTOLERANT?
>> NO, BUT I'M WILLING TO TRY.
OF WHAT DO YOU SEE THAT'S IN COMMON?
>> THEY'RE ALL KIND OF CASUALLY RECLINING.
>> Stephen: POSTURE.
CAN I SEE YOU SLUMP?
SHOW ME-- SHOW ME A SEXY SLUMP.
>> SURE THING.
UM....
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: CAN I GET YOU TO STAND IN FRONT OF THAT
SILHOUETTE FOR A SECOND PLEASE?
THANK YOU.
MHM, MHM.
CAN YOU TURN AROUND PLEASE?
TURN AROUND PLEASE.
STAY THE SAME LEVEL STAY THE SAME HEIGHT.
STAY THE SAME HEIGHT.
STAY DOWN THERE.
TURN AROUND.
VERY SLOWLY.
SLOWLY.
( LAUGHTER )
THIS IS GOOD?
>> Stephen: YEAH.
LET'S DO A QUICK WORD-- >> SORRY.
>> Stephen: WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN.
I THINK YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE.
PAUL, CARDS ON THE TABLE, I'M IMPRESSED SO FAR.
YOU'RE PRESENTING VERY SEXUALLY MENTALLY, AT LEAST.
AND NOT EVERYONE KNOWS THIS, BUT THERE IS A CERTAIN PHYSICAL
COMPONENT TO "SEXIEST MAN ALIVE" AS WELL.
ARE YOU READY FOR AN EXAMINATION?
>> YES.
>> Stephen: LET'S DO IT.
>> OKAY.
>> Stephen: GET UP SEXY, GET UP SEXY.
GET UP SEXY, PLEASE.
THAT'S IT.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WOW.
WHAT A ROLLER COASTER RIDE.
( APPLAUSE )
AND I KNOW WHAT'S COMING.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, STICK AROUND, BECAUSE WHEN WE COME
BACK, I RUN PAUL THROUGH HIS SEXY PACES.
YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO SEE THIS.
♪ ♪ ♪