There's no denying that every single one of us
is still reeling over the news
that President Trump has COVID-19.
I mean, one of the biggest places
to see the panic is online.
So I figured, let's get another perspective
from someone who's an expert in online--
Jaboukie Young-White.
Jaboukie, what's going on, man?
Hello, Trevor. How's it going?
What do you make of President Trump's diagnosis?
Hmm. I'm not gonna lie, Trevor.
I'm pissed.
Like, I understand that he's sick,
but that's just how I feel.
That's just how I feel.
You know what, I hear you, Jaboukie.
Um, many Americans are angry with the president
because they feel like he was irresponsible
with his health and with the health of those around him.
And now he's not only endangering his own life,
but threatening the operation of the entire federal government.
Aw, dude, like... I mean, yeah, but no, like...
I'm pissed, because...
he is overshadowing the most important news story right now.
Melania Trump hates Christmas.
(laughing)
She hates Christmas.
What?
I... I don't remember that.
You don't remember? Of course you wouldn't remember.
You don't remember. It's because it was announced,
like, two hours before it dropped
that they both had COVID.
So of course you don't remember.
But she did. She said it. Look.
Turning now to secret audiotapes just released
of First Lady Melania Trump.
She apparently goes on a profanity-laced rant
about Christmas decorations.
Oh, man.
I totally forgot that story.
That shit was crazy.
It turns out Melania hates
putting up Christmas decorations at the White House.
Yo, it...
(laughs): was the greatest news story of all time, Trevor.
I love it so much, I made it my ringtone.
Wait, listen.
MELANIA: Who gives a (bleep) about Christmas stuff
and decorations?
This makes not answering phone calls so much more fun.
Like, yesterday, when you called me 11 times.
Jaboukie, that... that was for work.
I know. But you know what's the worst part
about this getting buried, Trevor?
I had so many jokes about it.
Like...
Now I understand why her holiday decorations
look like she murdered Christmas.
Also, um...
I know why Melania hates Santa.
Because she already got a old, fat white man
crawling into her room once a year.
That one needs a little work.
Oh. This was gonna be... I had a act-out planned, too.
It was gonna be like this.
(like Melania): Why don't you ever give me what I want,
Santa Trump?
A divorce!
The accent is not there yet,
but I was gonna practice it.
Yeah, you know what, I hear you, Jaboukie,
but I feel like Melania hating Christmas, as a story,
just, it doesn't seem important right now.
I know, Trevor, but it's just not fair.
Like, could you imagine if Michelle Obama had been caught
saying that she hates Christmas?
The Fox News building would have exploded with semen.
But instead, it's them.
The people who came after Starbucks
because they didn't say "Merry Christmas"
are now silent when their First Lady said, "(bleep) Christmas."
You know what else? I was gonna start a new holiday.
You know that, Trevor?
I was gonna call it "(bleep) Christmas."
It's when families got together and listened
to the Melania "(bleep) Christmas" tape
and said, "(bleep) Christmas,"
but now we can't (bleep) Christmas,
because Trump got COVID.
Well, also, because Melania is sick.
Oh, right, right, right.
Uh, well, you know, I guess...
we don't want to be mean to Melania when she's sick.
Feel better, Melania.
(singsongy): We're rooting for you.
Well, well, look, I mean,
maybe the Trumps will get better soon,
and then everyone can go back to the story.
You're just trying to make me feel better, Trevor.
I see what you're doing. It's not gonna work.
(bleep) Christmas is ruined.
Now all that we have is regular Christmas.
Who the (bleep) likes Christmas?
Who the (bleep) likes regular Christmas?
-Wait. -MELANIA: Who gives a (bleep) about Christmas stuff
-and decorations... -Oh. Sorry.
(chuckles) That's me.
-Oh. -MELANIA: Who gives a (bleep) about Christmas stuff
-and decorations... -I got to call now to accept.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to not take this,
-so I got to go. -MELANIA: Who gives a (bleep)
-about Christmas stuff and decorations... -Is that cool?
All right. Talk to you later.
-Peace, Trev. Nice talking to you. -MELANIA: Who gives
-a (bleep) about Christmas stuff and decorations... -Wait.
Why would you have to go if you're not gonna...
You know what, never mind. Bye-bye, Jaboukie.