Everyone loves a bit of candy every once in a while, and there are plenty of different
kinds to choose from out there. However, as anyone knows, some candies eventually get
discontinued. Sometimes it's due to poor sales, and sometimes, much like these examples, it
is due to something far more ridiculous. These are 10 Discontinued Candies That Took It
Too Far!
Trolli Road Kill Gummies
The list starts off with a rather odd choice for gummy candy shapes. As any candy lover
knows, there are plenty of gummy shapes out there: frogs, bears, worms, sharks, and any
other variety of animal. There are gummy soda bottles and gummy feet. The list is seemingly
never-ending. It seems like candy manufacturers could never run out of ideas for candy shapes.
If that's the case, then why was the world ever graced with an idea as bad as Trolli's
road kill gummies? Yes, you heard that right, these little gummy candies were shaped, charmingly,
like pieces of road kill. You know how when you're taking a long road trip and there's
fresh road kill on the street, and you think "that would make a great candy?" Of course
you don't. Unfortunately, the folks at Trolli really thought this would be a great idea.
Maybe they assumed that people would get kind of a gross thrill out the candies. However,
their calculations were way off, and instead, the gummies did nothing except make people
mad. Parents obviously didn't want their kids eating candy shaped like road kill and people
old enough to see the irony didn't find it all that amusing. They were eventually pulled
off of store shelves, and Trolli decided that it was in their best interest to stick to
more conventional gummy shapes.
Nestle Magic Balls
Nestle is not a company that is known for making poor decisions with their products
(setting aside some of their more unsavory actions in the past), and yet they are still
not able to escape the kinds of missteps that could easily sink smaller companies. Case
in point: the Nestle Magic Ball. Much like the Kinder Surprise Egg (more on those later),
these balls of chocolate were filled with candy and prizes that would make eating candy
a much more exciting experience for kids (as if candy needed to be more fun, but that is,
of course, another debate entirely). These things were actually a pretty good seller
for a while, delivering prizes that were often licensed by big entertainment companies like
Disney. However, the FDA eventually started to get wind of these things. Of course, there
are ways to get around certain FDA regulations, but combining non-food products inside of
food, particularly ones that are aimed at children, has always been a big no-no for
the administration. The magic balls eventually had to be pulled from shelves until they could
get some kind of FDA approval. Of course, the balls did eventually find their way back
into stores, so the ban wasn't permanent. However, it probably cost the company a good
amount of money, considering that the products would have to be recalled and then reformulated
in order to meet FDA rules.
Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars
First of all, we need to address the fact that calling candy Toxic Waste seems like
it would be the thing that undid this particular brand of sweet treat. However, that's not
actually the case. After all, despite the failures of road kill gummies and other similar
candies with poorly chosen names, Toxic Waste was actually a fairly popular brand of extremely
sour candy, similar to Warheads. The good folks who made Toxic Waste eventually decided
to branch out and make other products using their signature formula. That led to the
creation of Nuclear Sludge Chew Bars (wow, they really go all in on these candy names,
don't they?). The problem once again wasn't the name. Although it would suggest that this
thing was not healthy, that should have already been obvious from the fact that it was, you
know, candy. The big issue with these bars, specifically one of the flavors that were
sent out from the manufacturers, is that there were actually trace amounts of lead in each
bar. Yeah, that really lends to the 'toxic' moniker that these bars were branded with.
Seriously, this is the kind of thing that should never happen, but the fact that it
happened to a candy that marketed itself on the grossness and toxicity of its own name
seems fitting.
Haribo Sugar-Free Gummy Bears
Gummy bears: you know 'em, you love 'em. They're chewy, fruity, sweet, tasty, and go really
great on frozen yogurt. You can bite their heads off, squish two of them together for
flavor combinations, and you can even buy giant gummy bears online. All in all, they're
a pretty classic candy and one that doesn't really need to be meddled with all that much.
Like their wormy cousins, gummy bears are perfect in their simplicity and their inherent
fun. Of course, there are people out there who would enjoy gummy bears if they could,
but have to practice a lot of restraint due to all of the sugar in them. Haribo, the maker
of gummy bears, thought that this was unfair. Gummy bears should be for all the people!
It's a very diplomatic thought to have, and it resulted in the making of sugar-free gummy
bears. So what made these responsible candies bad enough to be taken off of the market?
Well, it was the fact that one of the ingredients used to replace the sugar was actually a powerful
laxative, and anyone who ate the sugar-free gummy bears was going to need to find a bathroom
very quickly afterward. It just goes to show that sometimes it's better not to eat the
candy at all. After all, a nice piece of fruit or a healthier snack option probably isn't
going to send you running for the nearest public toilet.
Kinder Surprise Eggs
Anyone who was lucky enough to get a Kinder Egg on Christmas or on a birthday knows that
they are not only fun, but even the chocolate shell, combined with a layer of cream on the
inside, was actually pretty delicious! Waiting inside that chocolate shell, of course, was
a fun toy that could be put together and played with. Some people even built up huge collections
of these little toys. Once again, though, it was issues with FDA regulations that kept
Kinder Eggs from being sold in the United States. The entire regulation, as previously
mentioned, had to do with the fact that the chocolate was being combined with non-edible
components. Even though the pieces of the toy and the instructions for how to put it
together were contained in a tightly sealed container, it still presented the possibility
of choking hazards or cross-contamination. People tried to bring the Kinder Eggs into the States,
but smuggling them in came with a hefty fine and possible criminal prosecution. As fun
as the toys could be and as tasty as that Kinder chocolate was, the risk was not worth
it.
Smarties
Anyone who has ever gone trick or treating (which, let's face it, is most the people)
knows the pain of getting a bag full of smarties, the unappealing little chalky circles that
are mildly fruit flavored. These things are no one's favorite candy, and yet when Halloween
rolls around people love to hand them out. Most likely because a ten-pound bag of them
costs next to nothing. Of course, while these things might not be that fun to eat, high
school kids found another, totally irresponsible and stupid way to "enjoy" them. In two different
school districts, one in Oregon and one in Michigan, the candies had to be banned due
to the fact that teens were crushing them up and snorting them. Yeah, it might not be
a real discontinuation of the product, but it is incredibly stupid nonetheless. Leave
it to teenagers to find a way to make Smarties even worse. Of course, stores were not banned
from selling them, the kids were just banned from bringing them to school. What kind of
pleasure could even be derived from doing something this dumb? Apparently, all that
happened is that a lot of kids got nosebleeds and some pretty severe sinus problems.
Candy Cigarettes
This one probably seems obvious to anyone who grew up with this specific type of candy.
For those who might not know, here's a brief history lesson: smoking used to be far more
widespread, and the dangers of it hadn't exactly been ingrained in the public consciousness
yet. As a result, lots of people smoked and didn't really see any problems with it. Doctors
would even recommend certain brands of cigarettes as being 'healthier.' In short, it was a very
strange time. Because there wasn't as much of a stigma against cigarettes yet, candy
manufacturers thought it would be fun to basically make candy sticks that looked like cigarettes.
They didn't even try to hide what they were doing. These things were actually marketed
as candy cigarettes. Imagine seeing kids bumming candy cigarettes off one another on the playground.
"Man, that math homework was tough. First addition and subtraction, but now they're
throwing multiplication at us? Let me get one of those, I need a fix." Ultimately,
people started to realize that selling candy cigarettes to kids might be setting them up
to become smokers in the future, and with more and more people becoming aware of the
real dangers of smoking, it was an easy call to take them off the market. Of course, they
still continued to be sold, but they were just marketed as plain old 'candy sticks,'
often with a picture of Popeye on the box.
Lollipipe
Don't assume that the failure of candy cigarettes kept candy companies from making stupid decisions
in the future as well. Sure, that might have been an obvious decision to make back in the
day, but in the new millennium, candy producers had to try and push the envelope and make
candy products that would be edgy, different, and appeal to both kids and adults. After
all, if you can diversify your customer base, then you'll be sitting pretty. Enter the
lollipipe, an incredibly transparent attempt to be both edgy and attract grown-up customers
to a candy product. This piece of candy, much in the same vein as the classic candy cigarettes,
seemed to send the message that pipes are cool, particularly those that are used to
smoke marijuana or other more illicit drugs. That's right, this thing was just a piece
of hard candy molded into the shape of a classic glass pipe. How is it that candy executives
who make these kinds of decisions make hundreds of thousands of dollars every year? Obviously,
this completely ridiculous and ill-considered candy was taken off of the shelves. The funny
thing is that due to the fact that it's made of sugar, it wouldn't even work as a normal
pipe, and would most likely just end up melting. Way to go, guys!
Hippy Sippy
Let's take a journey back to the 60s. It was a far different time than today. Even though
the early sixties only saw the rising popularity of the beat movement and entirely new forms
of expression, the late sixties erupted in declarations of peace, free love, and expanding
one's mind through the use of drugs like LSD. Needless to say, hippies and hippy culture
were starting to actually influence the market. Sometimes that worked, and other times it
just failed miserably. Let's talk about one of those miserable failures! Hippy Sippy
was a candy that was marketed to kids who wanted to jump on the hippy bandwagon. Basically,
it was a tube of sweet liquid that kids could bite into and sip (hence the name). It wasn't
entirely dissimilar from other candies on the market that did the same thing, except
for the fact that the Hippy sippy delivery system happened to be shaped like a heroine
needle. Yikes! Yeah, needless to say, the Hippy Sippy did not stay on store shelves
very long. It's bad enough to be selling the idea of smoking cigarettes to kids, but
selling them the idea of playing with syringes or hanging out and just getting "strung out"
on candy was just a total mistake. There's a reason why these things have mostly faded
into obscurity. Probably for the best!
Maoam
Finally, we come to a candy infamous not for its ingredients, but for its packaging. Maoam
was a fruit-flavored candy sold in England, and it was known for the little green mascot
that adorned all of its packaging. While he was pretty adorable, when combined with the
personified fruit on the package, he got into some pretty compromising situations. It's
fairly obvious that there is some rather unsavory business going on in the images on these candy
wrappers. One father actually brought this to the attention of the media, though it is
strange that no other parents or people with children seemed to think there was a problem,
particularly with the image of the little green mascot having too good of a time with
a lemon or a pair of cherries. The company did eventually change the image on their packaging,
making it a much more innocuous image of the same mascot riding a skateboard. However,
they did keep their relatively suggestive slogan as "full on... Till it's gone," whatever
that's supposed to mean.
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