[sigh]
I'm leaving Smosh.
Or I guess as of today, I've left Smosh.
Oh, God.
Wow.
This has been that something that I've been
contemplating for a really, really long time.
And it's hard for me to admit to myself that it's
finally happening.
I know that a lot of you may be upset, or,
confused by all this.
And
I just hope that by
being honest with you and explaining how I feel and how I've been feeling will
help
make you understand, a little bit?
Smosh has been a huge part of my life
for as long as I can remember.
It started as a website that I made
for me and my friends to hang out and talk to each other after school.
And a few years later, Smosh became
a YouTube channel where Ian and I made videos together
just because we liked to make each other laugh.
I still remember Ian and my first trip down to LA
someone invited us down to LA
just for a random business meeting,
and we didn't necessarily know what that meant,
we were just like, "alright, let's do it!"
We hopped in the car
and it didn't matter, because we were best friends and we had each other,
and we knew that no matter what would happen,
we'd be there with each other.
These memories, are
the reason it's been so difficult for me to admit
that
things change.
I've been holding on to these memories and hoping that someday
Smosh should be like how it was from we first started,
before Smosh was a brand, owned by a company.
And I had to come to terms with the fact that Smosh, being part of a company,
has put all of my creative decisions through a filter of what's appropriate for the
Smosh brand, as deemed by the company. I need to feel that happiness again. I need
to be doing what makes me happiest to wake up each morning. Right now that's
for me to do things on my own again with complete creative freedom, to be able to
make whatever I want, whenever I want, to walk away from something that I created
as a teenager with my best friend, which has now become something bigger than I'd
ever imagined. And it's terrifying. I've never made anything on my own really. I've
never made things without Ian by my side. I'm feeling so many things right now, I'm
scared, but I'm also excited. I'm so excited about creating things again that
won't have to pass through a filter. I am really really sad that I'll be walking
away from this thing that I made with my best friend, but I have to remember that
you know I might be walking away from Smosh but I'm not walking away from Ian,
we're still friends and he lives like two miles away so I could see him all
the time, and I'm honestly so grateful for you always being there, supporting me
over all these years and allowing me to even make Smosh in the first place, and I
really hope that you'll follow me in this new chapter in my life. I mean you
already found my channel so, here it is! I'll be making stuff here consistently
and I really hope you'll support me in this transition. All right well, I guess,
I guess that's all I wanted to say. Thank you, and I'll see you soon, right here on
this channel. Bye