Hi, and welcome to my YouTube channel.
On this video, we're going to talk about how to be irresistible
to him without saying a word.
[music]
This is Mat Shaffer, your dating, relationship and empowerment coach.
Today, we're going to talk about how you can be an irresistible force
to a man and attract him and be magnetic to him without saying a word.
If this is your first time being on our channel, take a second.
Hit that little subscribe button, hit the little bell.
I'm doing new content all the time and I'd love for you to be a part of that.
Be sure to stay towards the end because I'm going to be given
some great tips at the end.
I always like to save my best stuff for the end of my video.
This won't be a long one, I promise.
Let's talk about this, because I work with a lot of different clients,
a lot of different women around the world and they always
are very preoccupied when they go on dates with what they said, like,
"Oh, I think I said the wrong thing."
They get so preoccupied with what he said and what I said.
They're always analyzing that and breaking it down and asking my feedback.
Here's the funny thing.
It's almost never about what you say
that determines if a date's going to go well or not.
This is actual science.
When you're talking to a man, 60% of what he's hearing from you
is your nonverbal communication.
We're going to talk about two ways you can really master that
to be powerful in your nonverbal communication in just a second.
35% of what he's hearing from you is the tone of your voice,
the way you're delivering your language, the energy you have behind that.
Only 5%.
That's right, 5%, of what he's actually hearing from you
when you talk to him are your words.
Think about that.
Let's take the pressure and the focus off of the words
that we're saying and focus instead on how are we showing up.
That's going to make the difference for you with the man that you're out with.
That's going to really make that make or break your connection
with him and whether or not you're communicating with him effectively.
Let's talk about nonverbal communication.
That's 60% of what's landing with him.
What are some keys to nonverbal communication?
The first is your body language.
When we're talking about body language,
there's a bunch of different aspects to that.
I'm going to hit on a couple of them.
First off, with your body language, you want to be an open body.
You want to be an open body.
Open body is really important because that means your legs
aren't crossed, your arms aren't crossed, your body isn't hunched over.
You want to be back.
You want to be open.
You want be demonstrating that you want to connect with him
and that you're open to him.
That's a really powerful tool and a very powerful technique
is to always be open when you're communicating with him.
You want to be facing him dead on, don't be off to the side.
It's really going to help you show to him in a subconscious
that you're open to connecting with him.
Sound good?
Okay, good.
Tip two around nonverbal communication is your eye contact.
Your eyes are so powerful.
When they're looking at attraction points
from an evolutionary perspective, eyes are one of those things
they focus in on.
Your ability to make eye contact with him is a huge connection point.
When we're talking about eye contact, there's a general rule of thumb.
Three to five seconds is good.
Imagine if I was doing this whole video and I was looking up at the ceiling
or I was looking over here, dah, dah, dah.
I'm like, "Oh, my name is Mat Shaffer, [?]."
You wouldn't have any connection with me.
Haven't you been on dates where that's happened where a man
won't look at you and he's talking into the wall
or off into the distance?
Isn't that just a disconcerting feeling?
Because that doesn't establish a connection.
The rule of thumb is three to five seconds of eye contact, good.
Here's another rule of thumb.
More than five seconds, a little creepy.
Think about that.
Especially in the initial stages of dating somebody,
you don't necessarily want to hold his gaze for too long.
Eye contact can be very intimate, especially for man.
If a man is not necessarily really comfortable with you yet
or he's not necessarily a professional communicator--
I can hold eye contact all day.
I enjoy it, but for a lot of men out there who haven't done
a lot of work on themselves, it's very intimate to hold the gaze
of a woman, especially a woman that they've just met.
You want to be sure to be making eye contact with him,
holding it for a minute, allowing yourself to feel that connection
for three to five seconds, and then laughing and looking away
for a second, giving him a little break.
Then as the date goes on, maybe you have a couple of glasses
of wine or whatever, and you guys are getting loosened up,
and you're getting that connections deepening,
then at that point, let's let this go on.
See if he'll sustain your gaze longer.
You guys can play with that later on in the day.
Also, one other important thing about eye contact
is it demonstrates confidence.
Your willingness to hold his gaze is a communication to him
that you're confident, and you're not shying away from connection,
and you're sure enough about who you are
that you're not going to look away.
Looking away is a sign of insecurity or not being willing to meet his gaze.
Men are attracted to confident women.
Sound good?
Good.
I'm glad that landed with you.
Now, this last tip I want to offer you around the power
of nonverbal communication and how you can really use it
to be attractive and irresistible to a man when you're on a date
with him or you're even in a relationship with him is a phrase.
It's a mantra that you can use.
This is just for your energy and this is for throughout a date
from the beginning to the end.
You want to be repeating this phrase to yourself
over and over and over again in your head.
Of course, don't say it out loud.
[chuckles]
You want to be asking yourself,
"Am I demonstrating that I'm open to connection?
Am I demonstrating in the way that I'm showing up
that I've opened a connection?" Check in with yourself throughout the day
and then ask yourself,
"Am I demonstrating that I'm open to connection?"
Is my body language open?
Am I practicing eye contact?
Am I smiling?
Am I just showing him that I'm not afraid to connect with him?
If you can do that, if you can show up and you can just be open
nonverbally and in the way that you're showing up energetically,
you're going to be irresistible to him.
Guess what, you don't have to say a word to do it.
I hope that this helps you out there in the dating world.
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We're having a lot of fun here on my YouTube channel.
Let me know what stuff would you like to hear me speak into.
I'm always looking for new topic ideas.
I have a huge running list and I'd love to do a video
on something you're curious about.
How can I be your manslayer?
What can I explore around the mind of a man
or stuff you've been curious about?
I'd love to dig into it.
Leave some notes in the comments and let me know.