One of my absolute major passions
and one of the major points that's helped
me get through life has been my motorcycle.
I've got my big black motorbike jacket on and my boots.
I've found a way to put a wall up,
from people out there
that had, you know, that I got bullied.
I found this wall, you can't come in and hurt me anymore.
I was watching Connie do 'girl play'.
She had the Barbies and she was making a story with them.
She set up a pool and she put them all in the pool
around it in a position so they were ready to talk.
And then she went and left the game.
And I came up to her, and I said, "What are they doing?"
"Are they talking to each other?"
And she said, "No they're in the pool."
And it suddenly struck me,
that although she looked like she was doing imaginative play
that it stopped at the very surface of it.
It was a veneer.
Some of the coping mechanisms for me to fit in
is quite often, this masking thing and pretending to be somebody else...
this chameleon factor.
Because we want to try and fit in
with the group and society in general.
So if I'm with a bright and bubbly person.
I will try to be funny. The more information we have
the more we can change with our surroundings with us.
The more we tend to get accepted
because we know something to communicate with someone else.
She looks like she's managing and she looks happy and social.
But it's all on the surface.
You scratch it, the veneer, it's based on mimicry.
That's the thing that distinguishes, the girls from the boys.
She fitted every category. There was no doubt about it.
It wasn't a slim margin or anything, she was full on.
Had Asperger's, which is now called ASD2.
Yeah I remember that conversation.
I don't really mind.
At first I did think, "I'm different and this is bad."
But after a little while
I realised that, I'm the same as everybody.
I just act a different way.
It's fine that I'm different.
Some common traits of females with autism spectrum disorder is
similar difficulties to how the males present.
They have difficulties with social interaction
yet it is much more sutble.
"Hi, Connie. Hi, Anna. Come on in."
Due to the way that the female brain is wired
they naturally have a little bit more of the connection
socially and emotionally.
They're much better at masking their difficulties
so, they blend in.
Mostly boys
Because I'm a tomboy and all my life I've just been
I've just played with boys.
And at my old school there was more boys than girls
and there is only, wait how many girls are there?
There's only four girls.
Because, it's a school that helps with 'Aspies'
and people with ADHD and things like that
and there's not many girls with it.
"I'm going to write, pasta."
"Pasta, good."
In terms of, the portion of females to males
with an autism spectrum disorder.
If you're knowledgeable and experienced with the females on this spectrum
and you know what to look for it would almost be one to one.
Myself as a child, I was very, very quite girl.
Even in crowds of friends and stuff like that.
I can never get it right.
You know, when do you speak in the conversation?
It's like, ok I'm just going to keep quite
and try and watch and work this out. I will work this out.
For me seeking a diagnosis only came about
after being with my partner Paul
and seeing this quirkiness in differences in Paul.
My diagnosis was fairly quick.
I got in in two weeks
and it was just like that.
But going through being a woman as well
We don't tend to stand out
trying to explain, that you have these difficulties
You go through these different points
but because you can sit there and talk and present.
Only after 40-odd years of trying to get to that point
which is still extremely difficult.
They tend not to accept that and I ended up
getting misdiagnosed as bipolar disorder.
I know it was pretty hard on her
getting this other diagnosis of the bipolar.
I think it was too much information she gave
and it was, it seemed like it was a bit erratic
and where she's been the chameleon and adapted and changed.
This has gone against her diagnosis.
Females will often be misdiagnosed
when they go to see a professional who
doesn't have experience with females on the spectrum.
So common misdiagnoses are: borderline personality disorder.
There might either be bipolar
due to the difficulties in regulating their emotions
Quite often anxiety and depression
that might be a co-occurring issue.
Growing up with my mother, Marina
she found it very difficult to socialise with people
was very quiet.
This difficulty in connecting with people
was something that was
actually quite detrimental to her as well.
She had this massive meltdown
and the next thing I see her strapped in this
bed/chair thing being dragged down the stairs
and being put in an ambulance
and I just watched her go.
Once mum was taken to the institutions and assessed
by the psychiatrists that were there
her diagnosis was manic depression, schizophrenia and paranoia.
and it was horrible
to go back and visit her
after that, 'cause she wasn't there anymore
she was no longer my mother
They'd taken away someone that was so very important to me
by this whole misunderstanding and...
quite simply, she was autistic.
As the awareness of autism spectrum disorder
is developing, more and more adult women
are ringing up to make referrals
and, quite often it is after one of their children
has been diagnosed, then said yes this is me
this is explains some of my difficulties,
I really want to understand myself better.
"I'll get you to make the crepes"
"Okie dokie."
I started to realise
that there was a reason for how I had felt growing up
I had always, always felt like someone hadn't told me the rules.
I've accepted it and I'm really happy
I'm quite comfortable with accepting that I think
I'm on the spectrum as well.
I think I have ASD2. I accept myself very differently now.
I'm much kinder to myself.
And I know longer have that sneaking thought
in the back of my head, that I'm a failure.
I think it's changed my life for the better. Immensely.
It also makes me a much better mother.
If they had the tools for women in diagnostic procedures, as they do now
back in the day with my mother. I think my mother
would of had a far more fulfilling and accepting life as well.
My life would have been different if my parents had been diagnosed.
Let alone me.
I look at Connie and I wonder about her future.
If you find someone, who loves you
and accepts you, and you love and accept them
To me that's a good life.
I finally got my diagnosis Asperger syndrome at the age of 40.
For me it was life began at 40.
It seems like a lifetime of difficulties and heartache
to finally have this clarification and validation
I can be quirky, I can be different
and I can stop trying so damn hard
to fit in.