An age old issue that we've seen in households is women not only have to
work and earn a living in order for families to survive in this economy.
They come home and they're expected to continue on with the traditionally
female roles in the household, cooking, cleaning laundry, folding,
dishwashing, putting the dishes away all of that stuff.
Well one mother had enough.
Her name is Lily Token token, Lily Token decided I'm gonna strike.
I'm not gonna say I'm gonna go on strike, but I'm just gonna stop doing everything I
do on a daily basis that gets taken for granted because I want my spouse,
I want my family to see what I'm bringing to the table, what I contribute.
And she documented all of this on Twitter and I thought it was super telling.
So, let me give you a few of her tweets.
She says, two days ago I decided to stop doing the dishes.
I make all the dinners and I'm tired of having to do all the cleaning too.
Since then, this pile has appeared at some point,
they're going to have to run out of spoons and cups and plates.
Who will blink first?
Not me.
Okay, so you see the stack of dishes.
So I have OCD, like literally diagnosed OCD.
And so like watching that, looking at that photo, it's distressing.
I've had the temptation to do something very similar to what this woman is doing.
I just can't like the second it starts piling up.
I freak out.
But, what do you think about this was?
I wanna hear about as a man, I wanna hear about your personal experience with this.
Why do you guys wear so many white shirts?
Like why?
And if you have to wear white shirts, like why don't you just wear your shirt?
Why do you have to wear a white shirt under your shirt?
Like why do you guys do that?
It doesn't make any sense.
And if you have to wear the white shirt, then why don't you wash it?
And why don't you fold it?
>> Well, here's the thing.
And because in my culture, that's what you were expected to wear under your clothes.
And not only that, my mom used to do the thing where
she would soak the white clothes and clorox for
days just to make sure that it got extra white.
So that's what we've become accustomed to.
And so that's why we wear white, we used to our white still staying
white because our parents made sure that they remain that way.
I'm telling you she would put bleach, she would put,
I forgot the name was this other product that came in a blue bottle.
And she would pour that in there too and she would soak the whites, whether
it be sheets back when we was wearing tighty whiteys underwears undershirts.
And that would be and if at least 24 hours and then you would put it
through the watch cycle and your stuff will come out looking white as hell.
You looking like mr clean out there.
>> It must be, look, I don't know if it's an immigrant thing, but
that happened in our household too.
I remember Saturday mornings when my mom did all the laundry,
every sink in both bathrooms, right?
Were just full to the brim with white stuff like white clothing,
white apparel that was soaking in bleach.
So yeah, I know exactly.
>> Also these people would hand wash.
>> Yes.
>> They really hand washed.
Like, whoa boy, if something just gets too stained and dirty,
I'm just throwing it out and buying a new one.
It's over. >> When I was old enough, seriously,
like when I was old enough to just do my own laundry, I was like,coz I grew up with
my mom telling me like, these are the kinds of things you need to hand wash.
And I was like, I don't believe her.
So, once I was old enough to do my own thing, I was like, look at this thing,
I'm supposed to hand wash, I'm gonna throw it in, it'll be fine.
And my mom was right.
Almost every time it was just, turns out, turns out, mom's are kind of wise.
They've had some experience.
>> But no, but back to the dishes though,
like I'm somebody who cooks for myself here at the crib and
it is exhausting to prepare the food, make the food,
eat the food, be tired as hell while you're digesting from
the digesting period then get up and clean and do all.
Like it's exhausting, so like yes if somebody makes some food,
just wash dishes, y'all got dishwashers in your crib,
just throw the dishes in the dishwasher and keep it pushing.
>> Yeah.
Yeah that's a fair point.
For me, it's like the little christians so good.
I'm very lucky, he's very tidy, he doesn't make a mess.
The problem is more with me because I have OCB.
So I have to like remind myself like the things that really really matter to me
seem ridiculous to him and pretty much everyone else.
So, if it matters that much to me then I just have to do it myself and
not complain about it.
But there are little things, like for me,
the biggest thing is the damn espresso maker, okay?
THe espresso grounds, I clean the espresso grounds and
get that machine ready for him.
The least he could do is look out for me.
I hate the espresso grounds.
They make me feel, the fact that they haven't figured out a way to make
the espresso without the espresso grounds [LAUGH].
I know that sounds really stupid but they got to find a way, I gotta find a way.
Anyway I know, I know guilty,
guilty, guilty.
All right but let's hear more from Lily, okay?
Her kitchen was an absolute mess as you can see, but she was hopeful that her
husband or maybe even her children would take on a dish or two that never happened.
The blue as she refers to at the bathroom, ran out of toilet paper in no time.
The last of the loo roll in the downstairs loo was used at 7.04 p.m last night.
It hasn't been replaced.
Their downstairs or the downstairs loo is now out of action for
anyone that remembers, for anyone that doesn't God help them.
And perhaps the best moment is when she walked into her kitchen
to discover what she referred to as the sausage of death.
>> This place is a hazard as you can see.
And every time I'm in here, I want to die a little bit because that pan,
the pan with the sausage of death, it's tormenting me and
look at it, it looks like a little poo, good.
Someone obviously ran out of cereal this morning,
decided to just leave that there as a fire hazard so
we can all just burn in our beds, potentially.
Really, really not enjoying this.
>> My God.
>> Yeah, they've obviously become accustomed to just like I put something
somewhere and magically disappears.
They've become accustomed to that and so they're just doing what she's Yeah,
but she's conditioned them to do that's, unfortunately.
She should just have a stern talking to with them and be like, guys, like,
please, when you can please remember to throw stuff out to help your mom out,
help your wife out.
It's the least you can do.
>> Yeah, I mean, so before I got married,
my mom told me that I shouldn't spoil my husband.
She sat me down and said, you have to set the tone from the beginning,
don't spoil him, don't be like a doting wife,
like just set the ground rules and like, but it's true.
Like I've seen, I don't have it in me, like I'm not the kind of,
I'm not a high maintenance kind of girl.
And so, I don't have it in me to like demand, like pamper me or do this.
I've seen women do it though to demand those kinds of things from the beginning
and it works.
It's actually pretty incredible.
Like maybe not with all guys, but it is true.
Like if you start off the relationship by waiting on the person hand and foot,
they will end up coming becoming accustomed to it, taking advantage of it.
I think that's a problem with every relationship.
You start getting too comfortable, you start taking things for granted, right?
So you gotta remember to keep the relationship spicy by
manufacturing a fight here or there.
[LAUGH] I'm kidding.
I'm totally kidding.
But seriously, no, I am kidding.
No, but it is true.
Like it is ongoing conversation, like you have to communicate your needs.
It can't just be like I'm keeping it in, I'm keeping it in, I'm keeping it in and
then all of a sudden, you're fed up.
You feel like you've been taken for granted and then you just kind of like
continue cutting off communication which is kind of what she did here.
You can't just expect people to read your mind.
You have to talk to them and say, hey, I do all of this.
I would like some help in return.
I can't just all be on me.
>> You can't expect people to read your mind if you're a woman for sure.
That's what you're specializing [LAUGH] that as if y'all specializing.
Like you know I said the one thing but
I said it in such a way that you should have read the signs.
>> No, I'm good about communication because men and
women communicate differently.
I think women are more observant,
like women pick up on certain nonverbal communication and
we have to remind ourselves men don't communicate that way necessarily.
You guys just like it's simple.
You just want us to tell you, right?
So. >> Yeah.
Yeah. Say what is, what's the problem?
What's the need?
What's the request?
Just just get it out.
All right.
Cool. That's what you need,
that's what you want, all right, cool.
I'll get it to you by Monday.
All right. See you.
>> Keep it simple.
Keep it simple.
Yes.