- Uh, 11B.
- Say "breathing like a dragon," and I've won.
- Poop your pants and I've wind.
- Let's blast some asses, Danny!
- You've never put crickets in your
hot chocolate when you were a kid?
- I never did, not when I was a kid.
- As an adult now,
- I do it all the time now.
- Touch me, touch me.
(laughing) - Touch me!
- It's a fun tingle.
I've got a little tingle in my mouth.
- This is how you can murder a toupee (laughs)
- Are you ready to get ass on your face?
- Oh, you got the diarrhea cup!
- Who wants a kiss from White Jesus?
- I'm crowning, I'm crowning!
- Pop and squirt, baby!
Ugh, the Hershey Squirts!
- Mmmm, poopy!
- Ah, that was a nice little dessert to my poop ship.
- Kinda, eww! - Like I might poop my pants.
- Nope, - So, I'm out!
- Yeah, oh, I can smell it now.
- It's awesome time, nah we don't start that way
Do we?
- This is the show where I tell you
about all the new stuff happen (choking)
Farting emojing poop pen, did I say emojing?
Oh, oh!
Oh no!
Pa-pow!
Pa-pow! Bam!
Pop, pop!
Pop!
Boom!
(blowing raspberries)
I hit myself in the face
Oww!
I forgot all the stuff I was gonna say.
We've got birthday cake, another cake,
and a slightly darker red cake.
You've got apple, orange, blueberry, and muffin.
I don't know what the last one is.
Yup, I poured it on myself.
Why am I having such a hard time drinking soda on camera?
- Is there still hair flying here?
- I feel like that's a cute moment for us to have on camera.
- Let's replay that with romantic music please.
(soft jazzy music playing)
- Hi, I'm Joey.
- And I'm John. - And we are going to
(stuttering)
- Thanks for finishing up that
client retention report ahead of schedule.
Thanks for finishing up that client retention report
ahead of sc..
Looks like you might have to (muttering)
- Just let them mix man, let them (coughing)
God it does really stink.
- I don't know why I'm jumping.
Five, six, seven, ah crap, I'm sorry.
- Man if Celeste gets tracked up on queen (muttering)
- But as fun as it is (muttering)
- Alright, let's hook that thing up
to a gas battery, let's,
Did I say "gas battery?"
- But if you sign up for the monthly
mysterious mystery box,
Monthly mysterious mystery box mystery promo.
- Quiet, recess is canceled!
- Mmm, I need more juice!
Sorry, I kind of forgot what I was gonna do.
(coughing)
(hacking) (laughing)
- Ding! Hi!
(makes blubbering sound)
- Ugh!
So we, (muttering)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
(imitates ringing sound)
(choking on cotton candy)
(smacking lips)
(laughing)
- Oh, ugh!
It got down my shirt.
- Root beer! (imitates guitar riff)
- Ugh!
(makes glutaral sounds)
(hacking)
(burps)
(choking noises)
(makes bubbling noises)
(laughing)
(slow motion whinnying noise)
- I just involuntarily sounded like a horse.
- I'm here to show you the
gummy tarantula.
Now look at these lines.
Do you see them?
This is a female, and a male.
(leaves rustling)
- Ugh!
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
(laughing)
Oh, it went on me,
it went to the bathroom on me.
- I'm gonna give you a couple different surprise looks, so.
- Absolutely gorgeous coloring on
this tarantula!
Pretty great Australian accent, don't you guys think?
You need more?
- There he is, ah, you can see his fangs,
up there, up there, I guess those are
the fangs, the fangs,
they call them the fangs I believe.
He's actually biting me, currently,
he's got his fangs deep in my flesh,
and he's a delight, I mean,
he's just an absolute delight to have
and to hold.
(belching)
(blowing farting sounds)
- Oh, I've got the burps.
(burping) - Oh, no!
(burping)
(farting) (laughing)
- Kara farted in the thing!
- I've got a fart that I'm about to let loose here so!
- It wasn't me, I would have admitted it.
There was a couple close calls, I'll be honest.
- After that Chinese food.
- Ah, I shat myself.
- I smell it.
- Don't say anything disgusting on camera, Adam, PG-13.
- Ah, you mother (bleeping)
- Is there a timer on my bathroom time later too?
- Yeah, you have three minutes for that as well.
- Give that (bleeping) to him. - Do you like it?
- I have (bleeping) at this point.
- I'll give it a whirl. - Give it a whirl.
- This is weird!
Holy (bleeping)
(crunching)
(sucking and slurping)
(chewing)
(crunching)
(chewing)
(swishing)
(chewing)
(laughing)
- Ow, it's in my eye!
- Whoa!
He's got a knife!
Aw, dang it!
- Oh, dang it!
- Okay, that just kind of exploded.
- This...
You probably can't hear me right now because of all the
what?
- Ahhhh!
Aw, dang it, sorry.
- So you can drink straight from
a natural water source.
- Check, check, check,
Check one, two, check.
- Check, check, check, check, check, check. Check or cash?
- Rolling..
(laughing)
- Ugh! (clapping)
- Aw, geez that was loud!
(clapping)
- Come on man, you don't have to clap so loud.
- Cut.
- Ahhh! Oh my god!
- Whoa!
- Argh!
- Whooo!
- Ugh!
- Oh god!
- Ugh!
- Ahhh!
- Oh my!
- Awww!
- Ah, god!
- Ugh!
- Ah, oh!
- Ah, oww!
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh!
- Yow!
- No!
Oh god!
- Woooo!
Oh!
- Ahh!
- Oh shoot!
- Oww!
- Oh!
- Aghh!
- Wheee!
- Extreme!
- Ugh, I just smell like poop!
Pure poop!
I smell like pure poop!
I just got birthed out of out a butt hole.
Just a butt hole of butt, butt stuff.
Just ass, just pure pure simple ass.
One hundred percent ass.
- It's like you poured some sugar on your toes,
that had cheese.
- Sugar toes. - Sugar toes,
my nickname in college, sugar toes.
- Was that your nickname in college?
- Yeah, Fun, - Fun Tingle?
- They call me Fun Tingle.
- Minimum cinnamon,
minimim cinnamon, minimum cinnamum,
minimum cinnamon, minimum cinnamon,
minimum cinnamon!
(laughing)
- Ugh!
- Alright, I'm gonna let you do it.
Okay let's put that on the floor for now.
I'll do the whole thing.
- Okay
(laughing) Did that just happen?
I missed my mouth!
My body was like, don't do it, John!
- Ahh!
(dance music playing)
♪ [John] The best part of waking up ♪
♪ Is unicorn farts in your mouth ♪
(blinging) (laughing)
- Okay! (muttering)
(gibberish noises)
- Let's keep trucking
- Keep trucking!
Thumbnail!
- A really, well-built,
- Spruce, - spruce wood,
maple neck, dented,
- There's some serious loot inside this box.
L-U-T-E, lute!
Oh!
♪ Somewhere, over the rainbow, ♪
♪ Way up high ♪
- One, two, three (shutter clicking)
And, terrible!
Yeah, do it again, look at both of them
right here and right here.
No, look more at this one, but less at this one.
Scooch, go ahead and scooch,
scooch, can you scooch?
Can you scooch, I'm scooching, scooch!
- I went pee pee.
I went potty in my pants.
- Paul, let's get that out of our mouths.
- Are you, what?
- Let's get that taste out of our mouths.
- Oh, okay!
- Is it not, uh, lit enough?
- Aw, mom, don't say that.
(laughing)
- Lit, litted enough?
- I'm feeling tart!
- It's gonna be the bomb!
Is that still in, people still say that?
- Every day, yeah.
- Wassup?!?
- You can't see what my eyes were doing
behind these glasses, though,
but they were like, oh!
- Jimmy, we're matching!
- Yeah! - A little.
- Little bit, yeah.
- Red boys!
- Guess what, I'm going to bite my own face off,
and it's gonna be amazing.
I'll review what my taste face,
taste face, face like, face like,
What do I taste like?
I don't know, only one person knows.
That man who bit me on the bus.
- Ugh!
- This episode of, what are we on?
Test Lab.
- Welcome to the Vat 19 Taste Test.
- Taste Lab.
(imitating robotic beeping)
- Damn it.
We built something at least.
- I don't know how big mine is compared to that.
- I don't either.
- It's hard to tell.
- Who's is bigger?
(laughing)
(imitating air horn sounds)
- [Adam] Listen to that Kelsey and Maddie,
more air horns.
(air horns blowing)