Oh, they're good.
Unbelievably, though, I started to make up places.
Oh, he's third! He's going to be third if he can out-drag that one and he is!
Come on, Gary!
Gary, I'm going to get you!
I've got Gary up my chuff here and I'm trying to take Gary on the inside!
Then the super-modified Garys put me in my place.
Heavens, that was a big shunt.
I may be off the track slightly here...
Spurred on by the support of my colleagues, I chased after the pack.
Right, Jeremy, concentrate. Let's go get 'em!
But before I could catch up, the race was over.
That was brilliant and I was last!
Some of you will probably be thinking:
"I'd like to do that, but what about safety?"
Well, the number of people killed last year in rallycross was nought.
The number of people killed on a golf course was...
Well, nobody knows, but it's many, many people.
God, that was good fun.
And the fun continued for the rest of the afternoon.
Loads of short, hard, fast action... and the racing was epic.
-Oh, look at that manoeuvre by the Mini. -That was the girl.
That's Gary the girl. Gary the girl going round the outside!
-Oh, Gary... -Come on, Gary, use all the track!
Come on, this is good!
-Oh, it's absolutely wheel to wheel stuff! -This is spectacular racing!
Gary the girl! Gary the pole!
I've never seen a race where two people are side by side all the time.
Yeah!
In his second race, Richard got another third, despite a bit of a moment.
Whereas, in his next heat, Jeremy improved massively.
I'm not last! I'm not last!
I'm second to last!
Then it was my turn and they put my hastily-repaired car on pole.
I'm ready.
What a start. He's into the lead!
James May is... there's no other word for it... winning!
Oh, he's gone off, look.
Right, now I've got some racing to do.
Cock!
Three completely blind laps later, I finished last again,
with yet another wound on my MR2.
-Oh, yeah! -Oh, mate!
With the points from the heats all added up, we learned that Richard,
with his two third places, had qualified for the B-class final...
whereas James and I were in the final for losers.
That means you and I get to race each other.
-That's very exciting. -Yeah, but it's...
If you actually stop and think about the scoring system here,
it's clever because it means you will always end up in a final,
irrespective of how rubbish you are.
The final for losers went well. James got up to third and stayed there.
That was terrific! Did you see that? Did you see me all over him?
And as for the orangutan...
Jeremy, you're winning! You're actually winning something!
Miracles have happened here, ladies and gentlemen, today.
I actually won a thing!
The victory gave me a chance to wear my winning face.
And there was another bonus as well.
What are you doing here?
Because I won the spanner final, I'm allowed to go into this final.
This is my final. I don't understand.
We established in practice, you're fast around here,
because you're used to driving on wet leaves and mud.
-Because I live in Wales. -Exactly.
Right now I could be, I don't know, chatting to my caddy...
adjusting the tassels on my loafers, instead of which, I'm sitting here
at the wheel of my race car, waiting to start.
This is just so much better.
What if I spoil Hammond's race in some way? I mean, I mustn't and I won't.
I'm going to stay at the back, not get in anyone's way.
I shouldn't be here.
Right, five seconds...
That was a good start for me. That puts me right amongst the big boys.
Bad start. Really bad start.
Come on, Gary, out the way.
Whoa, he's got me on the grass!
God, this Fiesta is really aggressive.
Oh, no, look who's there. It's Richard Hammond, is what it is.
How did Jeremy make up that many places in my final?
I decided not to spoil his big race.
Then I decided I would.
Yeah, come on!
Oh, yes!
Come on, Beemer! Come on now!
Oh, he's left me a gap!
No, I've gone wide!
Oh, that was a biggie!
There was now just one lap left to take Hammond.
Lot more traction here, sunshine.
Coming up the inside of you.
There you go.
Come on! Clarkson's right behind me!
Come on now!
BMW on my inside! This is where he's got the power!
I'll get him on the outside.
Leave him all the room in the world.
I've been hit!
He actually turned his wheel there. The camera will reveal that.
Come on, little Citroen! Everything you have!
There's the chequered flag.
Second place!
And, amazingly, third place for Jezza.
How good was that?
That was absolutely brilliant fun.
Two more different cars you can't imagine pitting against one another,
having a great race!
That was tremendous.