Hey everyone, and welcome to TopThink.
Today, we are going to learn about 10 signs of a lasting relationship.
Now, let’s begin 1.
Future Visions A lasting relationship requires more than
compatibility.
Two people can share a strong, loving bond, but if your relationship is going to last…
you need to have similar visions for the future.
In every lasting relationship, you and your partner’s lives need to move in the same
direction.
For example, do you both envision a quiet life in the country, buying a plot of land
and enjoying nature?
Or maybe you see yourselves traveling the world and experiencing new things?
In either case, your relationship is moving in the same direction as your life, which
gives your relationship a much better chance of going the distance.
But what if you have different visions of the future?
Even if you have dozens of things in common, you two may want very different things in
life.
You may want to settle down.
Your partner may want to travel and explore.
For your relationship to work, someone would have to make huge compromises.
Now, it’s not impossible for partners with differing goals to find lasting happiness.
Many couples find a middle ground, which satisfies both of their goals.
Other couples pursue their goals separately while finding other ways to keep their relationship
strong.
Similar goals are not necessary for a lasting relationship, but they make your future together
a whole lot easier to imagine.
2.
No Strings Attached Have you ever wished your partner would live
their lives differently?
Do you ever hope, in the back of your mind, that your partner is going to change?
This is a common feature of short, unstable relationships.
You wish your partner would change their ways, evolving into the kind of person you want
them to be.
You may envision yourself falling in love… if only they would change their personality.
But no matter how long you wait, your partner will never transform into a different person…
and you shouldn’t expect them too.
Partners in lasting relationships accept each other the way they are.
When you find someone you truly love, you stop hoping for them to be a different person.
You lift each other up and encourage each other to improve, but in a lasting relationship,
you want your partner exactly as they are with no strings attached.
3.
Healthy Challenges Do you and your partner push each other?
We know strong couples love each other the way they are, but they can still push each
other to grow and improve.
Because you, more than anyone, want to see your partner succeed.
You want them to find happiness, accomplish their goals, and create a happy and satisfying
life.
You want your partner to become a stronger, happier, and more confident person.
But you should never force your partner to be anything they don’t to be.
In lasting relationships, partners never control each other’s futures or manipulate each
other’s decisions.
Instead, they encourage each other to do things they don’t have the confidence to do on
their own.
For example, you can encourage your loved one to achieve their dreams by cheering them
on and offering support.
But if they don’t want to achieve a dream, it’s not your place to change their mind.
In other words, you are a strong support system for your partner, and they are a strong support
system for you.
Because you both want the best for each other.
You both want the other person to grow and improve.
But, at the same time, you are always in your partner’s corner, and they are always in
yours.
4.
Physical Romance In the beginning, almost every couple is physically
expressive.
During the first year or six months of the relationship, you’re in the honeymoon phase.
You’re still learning new things about each other, and the physical spark is burning strong.
But after the honeymoon phase ends, many couples experience a steep decline in physical affection.
Little gestures, like hugs, kisses, and holding hands, disappear from the relationship.
That’s why lasting couples find ways to keep their physical intimacy alive.
Even after the honeymoon phase ends, lasting couples go out of their way to show each other
physical affection.
Because each piece of physical intimacy keeps the romance alive.
It reminds the other person that you find them desirable and attractive.
No matter how long you’ve been together, you should make your partner feel attractive
whenever you can.
You should make each other feel wanted.
You should find ways to express love in physical form.
Because the best couples keep the romance alive, long after the honeymoon phase is over.
5.
Mutual Control Who is “in control” in your relationship?
Does one person make all the decisions?
In a lasting relationship, control is always mutual.
No one person controls the actions of the other.
No one makes all the final decisions.
No one person chooses what is best for you as a couple.
Instead, strong couples make decisions as a unit.
When something happens, loving partners work hard to communicate, problem-solve, and make
smart decisions that benefit you both.
It isn’t easy to find balance and compromise, but couples that make decisions together…
can last a lifetime.
6.
Angry Love Every couple fights eventually.
In short and long-term relationships, you’re bound to disagree at some point or another.
Your partner may do something to make you angry, but people in lasting relationships
experience anger a little differently.
In short or unstable relationships, a disagreement may drive the two of you apart.
You may realize all of the sudden your partner is not the person you thought they were, and
that may create emotional distance between you.
But in a lasting relationship, you love your partner no matter how angry they make you.
They may say stupid things or make stupid mistakes, but you can’t imagine yourself
fighting with anyone else.
You love them even when you’re angry, and that love drives the two of you toward forgiveness.
In other words, you never want to stay mad at each other.
Both of you want to fix the relationship, and you’re always willing to put in the
work.
7.
Exposing Your Flaws In the early stages of any relationship, you
may hide certain aspects of your personality.
You may be embarrassed about your flaws, weaknesses, and bad habits.
You hide your vulnerabilities, because you want to show your partner the best version
of yourself – someone who is confident, attractive, and interesting.
But as the relationship develops, you see different sides of your partner, and they
see different sides of you.
You start to expose your weaknesses.
You allow your partner to enter your world, and you feel more comfortable letting your
guard down.
With your partner, more than anyone else, you can be yourself.
This is a necessity in any lasting relationship.
If you can’t be yourself around your partner, you will experience resentment, frustration,
and emotional distance down the road.
Because loving someone means loving them for their strengths and their weaknesses
If your partner never sees who you really are, your love and trust may never grow.
But if you’re honest and comfortable around your partner, they can love and accept you,
flaws and all.
8.
Two-Way Listening In lasting relationships, good communication
is essential.
You need to feel comfortable using your voice and expressing your needs.
Otherwise, your partner may not understand what you want or need from the relationship.
But good communication means more than voicing your concerns.
You need to use your voice, but you also need to listen carefully when your partner has
something to say.
You’d be surprised how often relationships crumble because of poor listening skills.
One person may be vocal and assertive.
They may express their needs and value their own voice.
But they’re unable to give their partners the same attention and respect.
If your relationship is going to last, you and your partner must open your ears.
You need to listen attentively and be patient with each other.
Sometimes, that means listening to a long, boring story.
Other times, you’re giving your partner a shoulder to cry on.
In lasting relationships, partners give each other the attention they deserve.
You both talk, and you both listen.
Because their voice is just as important as your own.
9.
Finding Resolutions If you want to know how long a couple will
last, pay attention to the way they argue.
In unstable relationships, partners try to damage each other emotionally.
When they fight, their goal is not to improve the relationship, but to hurt their partner
the way their partner has hurt them.
But in lasting relationships, loving partners don’t want to hurt the other person.
They don’t criticize or insult each other.
They don’t get revenge or sneak around behind the other person’s back.
While loving partners can yell and argue like anyone else, they approach every conflict
with one intention.
They want to strengthen the relationship.
They want to forgive each other and move forward.
In other words, loving partners argue, not to cause emotional damage, but to find a lasting
resolution.
10.
Embracing Individuality Just because you’re in a lasting relationship
doesn’t mean you aren’t free to be yourself.
Strong, loving couples enjoy hobbies and activities together, but they also engage with personal
passions and independent activities.
It can be difficult for some partners to give each other time and space.
You want to be a part of your partner’s life, and you struggle to let go when they
need some time to themselves.
But that time and space is critical for any lasting relationship.
Because every good couple consists of two unique individuals.
As important as it is to enjoy time with your partner, it’s just as important to take
time on your own.
Your partner loves you for who you are, so they should give you time and space to embrace
your individuality.
If your partner respects you as a partner and an individual, you may have found a lasting
relationship.
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