Pay attention. All right,
let's switch gears a little bit because
it is sort of a bittersweet timf
year when summer draws to a close and
the school bells they started ringing.
And this transitional period can
bring a gambit of emotions rangg
from excitement to apprehension.
So here to talk about how to mae
that stress is mental health
professional And our friend Dr.
Surat Bargabe. Hello, Dr. B. He,
Kara. I swear that's a great in.
Is it? Good attention. Are you inspired?
I am inspired. I'm motivated. I can't
believe that movie came out 30 years ago.
Makes me feel a little bit old. Let's
not do that. Let's not do that. Okay.
You know, I've been talking wity
friends a lot lately about we're all,
we all have kids at different stages of life,
going back to school,
going to college, empty nesters.
And it really is such a stressfl
time for many of us families.
So what is something that you can tell
us to get us ready for all these changes?
I think the first thing I want o
say is it is normal to worry Ok.
So it's okay to worry.
Take a deep breath and know that times
of transition in particular can really
trigger anxiety for a lot of pe.
And on top of that,
school is stressful for a lot of kids
and for a lot of young adults, right?
So, And in terms of what kids worry about,
I think that depends on the chi,
depends on the circumstance.
But young kids, for example,
they worry a lot about separati,
let's say worried about being
away from their parents.
So those morning drop offs can e
really difficult right where thy
complain about stomach aches or
feeling sick and those sort of things.
There are some kids who worry a
great deal about social issues,
so they're concerned about fitting in.
Will I have someone to talk to?
Will I have someone to sit with?
Those sort of things.
So many kids worry about test
and performance anxiety.
So the concern about doing wells
year or letting their parents d,
having a teacher that they might disappoint,
those sort of things.
And then bullying is still
an issue for a lot of kids.
Concerns about being teased and fitting in
and clicks and and those sort of things.
And then really the the other tg
to mention about kids who worry
is that there are some kids who
are going through a trauma right
now or have been through a trau.
And what I mean by that is thins
like a death in the family or divorce
in the family and a health issu,
something they've heard on the
TV that's made them worry.
So the real message today is taa
moment to find out from your chd
what their specific fear is so t
you can find out how to help th.
Well,
I
was going to say too,
and it could all be manifestings
my stomach hurts and it could bl
those things that you just mentioned.
So how, as parents do we help or
child if they're really, you kn,
experiencing that anxiety about going back
to school? There are some specic
things we can do as parents,
and the very first thing that wn
do is be curious and offer empa.
So encourage your child to talk
about what their fears are.
Encourage them to talk about their feelings.
Really find out what it is specific to your
child that they might be worried about.
And you know, there's a lot of t
opportunities to listen, right?
Depending on the age of your ch,
maybe that's during bath time or
perhaps that is during when thee
sitting in the car with you.
Or for some kids,
it has to be one-on-one attentin
that they get from you.
So the first thing is be prepard
to listen and know your child.
The next thing I would say is Im
going to lump together as kind
of make sure about the basics,
make sure they're eating well,
make sure they're getting enough sleep,
getting adequate exercise.
We can approach and tackle our s
better when we come from a healthy headspace.
So make sure we're doing those
sort of things.
The other thing I'd say to to parents
is problem solve with your chil.
Once you know what it is that
they're specifically worried ab,
help them come up with a coping
strategy that's
so good. Because I think a
lot of times it's the unknown.
And maybe you can work it out
together and you can help
them figure it out. And when
we get anxious, it's hard to think straight.
So while they're feeling anxiou,
you're going to represent what it means to
think it through with statements like, well,
if that does happen, what would you do?
Or let me help you think througw
you might handle a situation like that.
And then when you're done with all of that,
here's the real important step,
Make sure that they focus on
what is positive right now.
Because of worried mind,
a ruminating mind tends to only
look at what's negative.
And it's really important to shift your
mind a little bit to what is positive.
Right now. You're
so wise, Dr. BI know,
you don't need me to tell you t,
but I could listen to you all
day. OK. And I know
that the kids, too, can pick up
on what we're feeling. Yeah.
So how do we keep ourselves, li,
not stressed and manage our own anxiety?
We're trying to make sure we do
all the right things for them.
Yeah, well, certainly parents worry a lot
during this back to school season as well.
Right? But there are some thinge
can do to manage our own stress.
I think I want to start with the
thing that I just said about ki,
reminding parents there are positives
right now in this situation so
overwhelmingly and and by and l,
kids do well once they've
transitioned into the academic .
So remember, this is a time whee
your child is getting educated,
becoming independent,
learning their way in the world,
discovering things about themse.
This is a good time.
Let's let's remember to stay positive.
The next thing I would say is do
something about your fear as a parent.
Remind yourself that the schools
have resources not only for kid,
but for parents as well.
So you've got school counselors,
you've got teachers who want to help your
anxiety as much as the child's anxiety.
So make an appointment,
get involved,
and if you need to even think at
reaching out to professional a therapist
or counselor and then know your support
system and find another adult tt
is a trusted person you can tal.
This is the time to lean in.
So whether that's a life partner
a friend or a family member, do that.
And then you and I talk about
this all the time.
But self-care, self-care, self-care, right?
Practice what works for you.
Deep breathing or listening
to music or reading a book,
becoming more active, whatever that is.
You have to take care of yoursef
before you can turn around and
take care of your kid.
I love that Dr. B.
And I think something you said
too that I'm going to take with
me is creating the community to
make yourself feel better about
the whole school year as a whol.
Because you kind of need those friends
and those people that are going
through similar life circumstance to,
you know, be with you.
And
and I think sometimes that is someone
who's going through it, just like you are.
Sometimes that's someone who's
already gone through it who
can help you there too, right.
So you and I are there for each
other in very different ways.
But on the other side of
parenting young kids,
there's some things I would now offer you
that I couldn't have known back then.
Well, I'm so grateful for you
from our friendship, but also tt
he can be here with all of you.
So thank you so much, Doctor.
Me. It takes a village.
And we're happy that you're part of ours,
Right? We've got this.