- [Female Narrator] Don't do it, don't do it!
Come on.
(laughter)
(choir singing "Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee")
- I'm Timothy.
- I'm Stefan.
Hi.
- We used to date, maybe like, four years?
- Three or four years ago.
I don't know if there was any hearts broken.
Was your heart broken?
- No.
There weren't tears.
- I don't really know how to do this.
Mother fucker.
Give your ex access to your dating app for five minutes.
Let them message whoever they want.
- Let's message someone who's online.
Horny man?
- Oh, God.
- Are you DTF?
Call me.
- Wait, you wrote call me?
- Yeah.
- Picking up the phone is like, not part of this dare.
- Not into phone sex man, sorry.
You got denied.
- What's wrong with phone sex?
Really nervous...
I was about to say I'm really nervous I'm not gonna get any.
- French kiss your ex.
- This is only benefiting him
and I still have to do the dare.
What do I get?
- How was it for you?
- Pretty awkward.
- I didn't mind the people watching.
- Let your ex dump a container of glitter over your head.
Fuck yeah, that's like the easiest, funnest,
bestest thing I've ever heard in my whole life.
Very well presented in that wine glass.
- Here we go, and, glitter.
- I'm not gonna close my eyes but I wanna see it.
Yes!
Cool - You did great!
- This is putting the intentions out in the universe.
I want this ball to go into one of those cups.
- Describe to your ex the first sexual experience
you had after you two broke up.
I think he was one of your best friends.
I think he was wearing heels and a dress
and we tore those off and the sex was pretty normal.
- Does that mean it wasn't good and it wasn't bad?
- It was intercourse.
There were orgasms.
What's the longest relationship you've been in?
- The one I'm in now.
I think it's about to be four years.
I'm really competitive so I get angry when I lose.
- I'm sorry.
- Why?
Let your opponent do your makeup blindfolded.
- Pucker up.
Do you have any cheek?
- Are you criticizing my facial structure right now?
I actually like it a lot.
You did a really good job for being blindfolded.
Oh, no, I look great.
Universe, I want this ball to go into one of those cups.
Yes!
- Let your ex undress you down to your underwear.
- Okay, lift your foot.
- It's too tight.
You're not gonna get it.
- I don't know how you wear shoes like this.
Like every time you take your shoes off
you have to do all this?
I mean there's like, four knots.
- I double knotted.
- Oh my God.
Hanes.
- Classic.
- That means I'm winning.
Wait, what if you ask the universe
if you wanna get into one of these cups.
- I don't think that's my...
- It's not your jam? - That's not my deal, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Serve chocolate cake to your opponent
off your naked body.
- I have to eat it?
I really feel like I'm getting the shit end of the stick
for all of your fucking dares, dude.
It's getting all over my face.
- Take your time.
- Are you comfortable?
I mean, I don't really like dessert.
I really don't.
Yes.
- Do a dramatic impersonation of your exes orgasm
for one whole minute.
- You guys!
What the fuck?
(heavy sighing)
- I'm done.
- At the end did you say, "I'm done?"
- Yeah.
- I would never say that.
Yes.
- One to five, what would you rate me?
- Four.
Three point seven five.
- I'll take it.
I feel like I've improved since you, so...
- Cool.
Congratulations.
- Was I a good lover?
- I would rate you a two and a half.
- What?
Let's not talk about it.
- I don't think you were bad at sex,
I think it was mostly just a chemistry thing.
- So we didn't have chemistry.
- Not the most.
- I would agree with that.
Cuddle with your opponent for one minute.
They choose the big spoon or little spoon.
- I actually hate cuddling.
- This is cuddling.
- I know, now this feels good and I'm like,
I'll just go to sleep. - Just take a nap.
- God damn it.
Shh.
Oh no!
- This is fun.
- Let your ex crack three eggs down your pants.
That's like, super uncool, like, I have to get home.
Let's just fuckin' do this.
- It's hard to crack.
- Oh, it's dripping down my legs!
It's cold!
- I got the whole shell in there, I'm sorry.
- No, you don't get to drag it down!
- It's gotta go down.
- I hate everyone in this room.
Okay, what if like, as a really nice gesture,
like, you let me win because I had to do so many like,
bad dares.
- I think let's just try our best.
We'll both feel better.
Oh, my gosh.
- No!
You're supposed to do somethin' like this, right?
- Yes.
(cheering and applause)
Thanks for dating me.