what's going on my beautiful people this is your certified life and relationship coach coach court
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me uh so well and it's it's great it's just great so um also now that talk about the community
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type of follow-up session with me because if you don't have that accountability it's like going
into the gym lifting the weights for one time and thinking that you're going to be you know swole
for the rest of your life i hope you guys can hear me well let me know if you guys can thumbs up
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yesterday i apologize my camera wasn't working well i had to use this potato of a computer
but um i mean it works well but it's not like a like what i have right here is it's the canon m50
um it's very i think it's very crisp but make sure that you reach out to me get your coaching session
for the month and also i release the course now the course is going to be coming out next
week next week wednesday you guys can sign up for that right now if you're not a member um you can
sign up for that course and you know the course is really affordably priced i put a lot of things in
there that i um get asked a lot of questions that i get asked for my coaching clients it's really
jam packed full of information and i feel like it's going to be really valuable for everybody
and if it's not get a refund but in today's video we're going to be talking about rebound
relationships and why the rebound will blow up it's pretty much inevitable it always happens
whenever i see people get into these relationships right away after they've just ended another
relationship it is never a healthy thing to do now i have some reasons why it's not healthy to do
the very first reason is uh most likely when you get into that rebound you're not totally
over your ex now i tell i'll be talking about this all the time where i say you know women they tend
to check out our relationships before they they terminate the relationship you know it's like um
mark knapp's theory of relationship development uh the six the ten stages of relationships is it ten
it's five yeah it's ten stages of the relationships it's the coming together stages and
then it's to come into part stages and when you're going through the coming of part stages when you
start a relationship during that time you're not totally over your ex there's going to be
songs that's going to be reminding you of them there's going to be play restaurants
that you right pass tv shows even tv shows that's going to be reminding you on them and
you're totally you're not totally over your ex i don't care how much you want to believe
that you are i've seen it too many times where i was just talking i was just on instagram talking
about this how i had a client that um didn't do the work he was divorced for about five years
got into a relationship with somebody else was with her for two years and then at the end of
the relationship when he terminated it he said look i'm not totally over my ex-wife and she's
confused she's like you were the divorce was finalized five years ago now and that's not even
a rebound relationship now think about how uh much more intense it would be if you you know pretty
much monkey branch into another relationship because usually when people get into rebounds
i have to i have to say that it's about 8 out of 10 times they have already developed some type
of report with that person they pretty much monkey branched over into their relationship
and i would say that monkey branches happens more times than people realize
so if you guys aren't familiar with monkey branch and that's when a person form some type of
emotional connection maybe even a physical neck connection with somebody else before they end
the relationship that they're currently in so usually when we think about a monkey um they won't
let go the other branch until they have this other branch completely secure so you know they you know
they have to test it out like all right is this thing gonna break off all right it's secure this
person's gonna you know be my emotional support system they're going to feel whatever needs i need
right now i can totally let the other branch go so that's what monkey branching is and like i said
the first one is you're not you're most likely not totally over your ex and the next reason is
um when you get into those relationships you don't realize that most of the time you're
settling for the next person that comes along you haven't went out into the dating world you haven't
taken the time to vet these people properly so when you get into that relationship this
new rebound you're most likely settling because you're not looking for the red flags you're not
looking for the things that will be a deal breaker for you you're just like all right i'm just happy
that i can elevate this relationship to the level that i had the last relationship if you i've seen
more times than not than that people
they tend to have this tendency where if you're like you know 30 40 years old you have a pattern
of going from relationship to relationship and relationship you haven't taken the time which is
my next thing you haven't taken the time to heal and if you don't take the time to heal yourself
all right if you don't take the time to heal your heart heal some of the things that you were some
of the ways that you were showing up the unhealthy ways that you were showing up in a relationship
to be able to strengthen that and to change that then you're going to take those same
behaviors into the new relationship right that's just that's without a doubt
because you don't if you don't take that time to you know do the the personal work you know
the personal development to reflect upon you know all the relationships and what you've done
and what happens is you get into that relationship and you feel guilty especially if you start to
finally see those red flags you start to see them like maybe three months down the line six months
down the line you're like oh man this i feel bad because i drugged them into this relationship
when i knew i hadn't healed from the previous relationship and usually what happens is
the person that you get into the relationship with they'll be asking you those questions they'll be
saying are you sure you healed you sure that you're ready for a new relationship you should
and then if you give them reassurance like yeah i'm totally over them i don't want to deal with
them anymore i couldn't stand them nope and when you get down in line and you start to like
have this light bulb go off like wow this person isn't the person that i thought they were
i think i might have settled for this i think i might have settled for this person you get down
the line you're like oh i feel so bad especially women women feel terrible because they drag people
into relationships that they knew they weren't ready for and what you hear is no all right
i think we should just take it slow like let's take this thing slow but it never gets taken so
why doesn't it get taken slow is because you're so excited and you're so eager
to make this relationship what the last relationship was you know if you had if
you were with somebody for two years and you get into a new relationship right away you're gonna be
doing all the things that you were doing in that relationship for two years with this next person
you're trying to recreate the memories you're trying to you're trying to set the same date nice
with that person you may be even buying them the same clothes that you bought the previous person
like put it put a one in the chat if you think i'm if you think i'm off base
put a two if you think i'm spot on put it one in the chat
oh heyo walking into monkey branching yeah
you are walking it's a monkey branch because it's real monkey branching is
i mean some people think it's immoral but there's a saying that goes you know the quickest way to
get over somebody the quickest way to get over somebody is to get under someone else
and i kind of believe in that especially if you're somebody who can't be alone somebody
that needs that constant affection and attention from somebody you need that constant validation
now i can't like totally knock that but i can tell you that it's an unhealthy thing to do
it's not you're not moving forward and and people kid themselves thinking that hey i think i'm
going to heal within this relationship but that never happens what happens is
you still come in with those same insecurities about yourself you still have those same jealous
tendencies with the other person you pretty much put all your back your crap into one bag
like i said this all the time throw it over your shoulder and you drag it into the next
relationship and then the next person has to deal with all that baggage that you drug with you
you know all right so um another reason why it fails because it's artificial
it's not real it's not real now i i wrote a quote on instagram that talked about that said um
the grass may look greener on the other side because it's artificial turf it's not real no
it's it's not what you think it is you're that's the whole you know if you guys aren't familiar
with the 80 20 rule like you you leave a 80 relationship for the 20 that was missing in
that relationship you think that 20 is gonna be it but it's it's most of the time it's not
you're just like delusional it's like your love star for a certain area in your life
but you guys need to understand that you can't have it all like no one is going to come along
and be a hundred percent and they're not going to have everything together
what's fake about it all right if i didn't have a read have a rebound on it i don't know if i
i didn't have know lots of interesting that's not the one it's interesting sorry i can't i'm reading
terrible right now doesn't doesn't that mean there's cheating taurus and
yeah yeah absolutely i i'm a firm believer that emotional cheating
is worse than physical cheating because physical cheating you can be like all right you can
you know go to guy repent say sorry i i didn't mean to do that you know it was i was in a weak
moment but emotional cheating is is so much more intense because you're you're you're so much more
vulnerable or
what's the word i'm looking for
you're you're hot you're you have a higher likelihood
of going through with a full-blown relationship or building an emotional connection with that person
because if you're out there building that emotional connection you can't be in your you
can't be present in your current relationship if you're building this connection with somebody else
it's just it's just not possible you can't you can't split your
heart into two places it's either one person is going to get subbed in like
all right calling them off the bench yep you win come on that's just how it is so
it never works i see rebound relationships if you if you want to talk about the statistics they
work 10 of the time now this is a google search i searched years ago and i searched it recently and
it's still the same thing it's it hasn't changed all right maybe 15 of the time but that's if
the person that you get into the rebound with is checking a whole lot of those boxes otherwise
it is just a rebound and it's and it's not going to work out you don't take the time
to vet the person accordingly you don't and honestly in a lot of dating situations you don't
people don't date properly anyway like you don't check their background you don't check
their history you don't you don't want you don't really see that stuff that are
major red flags like why did you break up with your ex or why did your ex break up with you
and what was your upbringing like you don't you don't do any of that you know but
i think it's pretty me personally i think monkey branching is immoral like if you're gonna break
up with somebody if you don't if you're not feeling somebody just just end the relationship
you know because don't leave that person on and make them think that everything's okay within a
relationship when you're clearly looking for this man's replacement or this woman's replacement
right it's just it's just immoral to me so that's my two takes my my my two cent take on it
um and then you're most likely suffering from you know the 80 20 rule is aka the grass is
greener syndrome you think that the grass is greener on the other side when it uses not
like i said it's artificial and artificial grass look really green you know it never tarnishes but
you know one thing i hate about the uh when i used to play football
i hated about the artificial grass is you used to fall and you used to get the rubber
flex all in your eyes and your mouth and it sticks to your skin it's annoying i like hey i like the
real thing i like the dirt baby i like the soil the mud that's what i like but if you guys are
just coming in here go back check out the um check out the replay i'm about to get off here
i appreciate you guys subscribe to the channel um i have my my ancient attachment course
just came out it's gonna be coming out next week wednesday you guys can pre-order it um
and if you remember make sure that you get your 20 your 20 minute session with me for the month
all right i want to make sure that i honor that i appreciate you guys love all you guys
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as i am coach court and also um book a session if you really need to talk to me and if you really
feel like you're struggling in life book a session with me and it's important for you guys to um
seek out those avenues to help you heal because i talked earlier about some things that people
people have done in the past because they really couldn't struggle they were really struggling
they didn't have anybody to go to so go back watch the replay namaste have a good weekend