So is he the Andre the Giant of black porn?
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
Mandingo? Yeah, it's like 12 inches.
I want to fuck your pussy.
I have the biggest dick of all time.
I am Mandingo, the Andre the Giant of the porn world.
White pussy, I'm coming for you.
That's fucking, that would be great man.
I would cut promos for him.
Is this it? Yeah, jump ahead.
Just jump to this, Riley Reid, this tiny fragile broken-
Riley Reid.
Oh, yeah. This is not going to go well.
That's just going to go great.
I know you have heard about my penis and you will feel it.
I mean ...
I mean it looks like she's fucking ...
dude, that's hilarious.
It looks like work.
It looks like she's pulling a trunk out of her mouth.
That doesn't look enjoyable for anybody.
That's funny. She looks like, "I like it?"
Yowzers.
Looks like she's vomiting up a demon.
Yeah. She goes, "Bye, memories."
Got a fucking fun hang today.
Chris Cotton was with us for the first half.
That was good.
And joining us, a show favorite, sorry Chris.
That's cool.
But Ali is a show favorite. Ali Siddiq hanging out.
Nah, Chris. You're cool. You're cool.
Yeah, it's so weird to be like,
Chris Cotton, anyways, this next guy.
Oh, man.
We got a big dude over here but this next mother, ooh.
Instant classic. Chris, move real quick.
Chris, can you just move over real quick?
Ali Siddiq.
This is what happens when you doing way too much press
and you still have the last ...
That's hilarious.
Is it still on? What show did you come from?
Christian radio?
Who are you?
Worst wire ever.
You been wearing a wire?
He's been wearing a wire the whole time.
The fuck?
We trusted you.
We've had you on lost tapes. we've had you on live episodes.
He was asking questions.
This is the treatment we get?
Who are you? Who's with my man? we had him booked.
We had him booked.
He came in asking questions.
He was like what are you guys smoking marijuana in here?
Because that's crazy and he's like and the people
from Comedy Central are cool with that and they film you?
You go, "Yeah, uh-
You guys doing drugs without me. This is crazy.
Chris. Check Chris.
Now I think Chris has had us on the whole time.
Dan, your friend James is really bringing up
two kilos of cocaine?
So you really did live with a drug dealer?
That's right?
I just need you to ... would you say that's right?
We got him. We got him. Move. Move. Move. We got him.
And I totally did this to myself.
I just pulled it, I'm like, "What is this in my back?"
Watching Cops when they do the prostitution stings,
how deep they have to go in conversation.
That's me.
When the cop is the prostitute that's the best part
because they don't want to be too foul in what they're saying.
Yeah, so they're like I really want to lick your penis.
So yeah, the guy is like, "What do I get?
Do I get to put my beep inside your beep?"
And she goes, "That could all be talked about I guess.
They don't know what to say.
He goes, "Is someone in the other room?
Why are you talking like you're fucking,
someone's around the corner?
And she goes, "I can't wait to touch your manhood for money."
Hot money touching.
Or when they're the customer it's always the best.
They go, "Ha, I don't normally do this thing. I'm nervous.
How does it normally work?" She's like, "Well, $20."
He goes, "And for that, for $20
I get to put my penis inside of your vagina?"
Yeah, watching all of those Hookers at the Point
and all of those documentaries it was just the funniest to me
to pick up some of the lingo.
To be like let me get a half and half for 40.
I was like 11 watching free weekends of HBO
learning hooker knowledge.
Still nothing better.
Just in the suburbs, just walking around being like,
"Dude, let me get topped off with a fucking $20."
Is that not crazy that HBO will give your family
this whole free month of HBO and your family don't know
but you manage to find.
Fuck, and I find it quick.
Jay and I talked about, my mom would find out
and then she would just put VHSs in and just hit record
and then label what movies were on.
Oh, free Cinemax weekend, man, I have to not beat my dick
for a week after that. Got to recover.
I mean this is a real thing-
Cinemax late night.
-when all of a sudden you'd go to it,
it'd be like 55 and you go to 55 and it would work.
You'd be like, "Motherfucker. What the fuck?"
And then you go to like 56, you go, "Showtime too?"
And then you go, 57, you go to Cinemax and you go, "Aaah."
The Playboy station was a part of cable at the time.
Yeah, Playboy TV.
Yep. Playboy TV.
But you know what it was?
It was a very minute amount of real sexual shit
and then it was them naked on cars or like dancing.
And you go, "Go back to fucking. Go back to fucking."
Dude, with the Cinemax stuff I had two older brothers
so we literally had to like choose a night
when we were going to stay up. On the weekends it was like-
You guys called shifts?
-well, technically you had to kind of be like,
"Man, I can't sleep. I'm going to just downstairs.
Anybody else coming down?"
I'll be like, "No, I'll stay up."
That was our way of saying let me get the first shift,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, you see a detective, you see a detective
with the five o' clock shadow
always busting that shit by fucking her.
Yeah, and then when he comes back-
He goes, "I know it was you."
And then whoever it was comes back in the room and he goes,
"Third cushion from the right. Stay off it. Whoever's next."
Yeah, tag in.
He goes, "I paused it. Got to head back down there."
We had Gene Simmons on the show but his wife Shannon
Tweed was like one of the first women
that I saw on those Cinemax movies.
She was in all of them.
But then it's funny-
Playboy chick from back in the day.
I had a VHS and I would pause it.
I paused it one time and she was riding the guy
and they're always riding the guy like on his ribs.
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
It's never where the dick is.
Never. They're always just like ...
and it's like, there's like always a fog machine behind them
and they're like, "Yeah, yeah."
But dude, I saw, I paused it at one point
and you saw the cover up on the lady's vagina
and I was like ...
and I had seen, I don't want to brag
but I had seen real porn at that point.
So aren't there slip ups? Could you look that up?
I think there's videos of like Cinemax slip ups-
And they're just like rubbing-
-where you see the dick's like taped to the leg or something?
Yes. They're just like rubbing it on their chest
and they're like ... Yeah, Shannon Tweed!
That's Gene Simmons' wife.
You guys better look out. I remember this.
Yeah, she too far back.
She's like meeting thigh on this guy.
A lot of things wrong with it.
Yeah. If I was the guy I'd be like this, "Ow. Ow. Ow."
I'm like, "You're rubbing my knee hairs off."
Benny Hill was way better than this.
I like Benny Hill.
Benny Hill was great.
In a pinch I would definitely watch some Benny Hill.
Ooh, so much tits.
Is there a compilation, Christine, of that?
I'm trying to find it.
Of soft core mistakes.
It was always so well lit too.
That's a well lit sex scene and it looks kind of boring.
I like a nicely poor lit scene.
I like a nice poor cell phone style scene.
I like all my stuff to be really grainy.
You like grainy?
Oh, I'm a fan of the grain, bro.
You just want all grain?
Oh, straight grain.
I like a well lit house that was borrowed.
You like the bells and whistles.
If I see one bell or whistle, I'm done.
Just some nervous businessman that owns a mansion
watching a porn be filmed and he's like, "Ooh."
He's just noise off camera.
I'll tell you once I was,
filmed anything ever or especially
when I filmed the first time I kissed someone on camera
all I think about with fuck scenes and soft core shit now.
Yeah.
Because hardcore porn you get, they're just diving in.
They're fucking.
Yeah, for real.
But soft core shit where you really are trying to be like-
Into the story?
-but it's cool, what's cool is you don't want to go too far
or you're not actually fucking.
Yeah.
But you're both naked.
I'm like, "How the fuck could you just do ..."
He goes, "Hey, I'm going to bounce my dick off your thigh
for awhile and rub your muff on my fucking hip
and then I guess we'll break."
I guess we're cool.
I think we have to take a union break.
He's looking, he goes, "All right, so you guys want me
to just pound her out real quick
and then we'll do a turnaround and my coverage?
Great."