- Where in the world is Superwoman today?
Hartford, Connecticut, baby!
What up everyone? It's your girl, Superwoman.
And I went on my Twitter and asked
what do you lovelies want to see for Super Thursday
and someone said "Types of Dreams"
and I was like goddamn that's good.
I'm gonna totally do that and pretend it was my idea.
So, enjoy.
Also, I have a really bad migraine and I feel like
someone's stabbing me in the head with a sword
and this is how I feel.
Facial goals.
Number one: The Falling Dream
Now this is probably the most common type of dream
where you're dreaming, and all of a sudden,
you fall and your whole body has a panic attack.
Like you literally feel like your heart jumps
out of your chest and you wake up stressed as F.
Now it's usually such a short dream that has zero context.
Just like "Oh, it's me. It's me
"It's me. It's still me. Oh look, it's me.
"I'm falling!"
Where were you?
No clue.
What were you doing?
I have no idea.
What happened?
I fell.
How?
I don't know.
Like why did I fall?
Give me some sort of context. I need closure.
It just makes no sense.
It's like I'm playing Mario and
as soon as the level starts,
I jump off the cliff like (hums).
Like give me a story line. Why did I jump off the cliff?
Why am I falling? Did Peach sleep with Luigi?
Did someone make an omelette out of my Yoshi egg?
Is there a fault in my star?
(hums)
What? What happened?
(speaks French)
These are the questions.
Number two: The Forbidden Dream
Now this is the dream you are not allowed to have
but your mind decided to misbehave so you had it
and now no one can know.
You either slept with your ex,
made out with your best friend's boyfriend,
touched the wrong person's booty,
cheated, or you just straight up was a ho.
You's a ho! Ho!
Now chances are this dream will be quite long
and quite detailed and you'll wake up totally confused
and feeling guilty just like...
And then you start going crazy
asking yourself questions like
"Wait, that was a dream, right?
"That didn't actually happen. That was a dream, right?
"Oh my God, what if someone hooked up
"an HDMI cable from my brain to this TV
"and everyone saw my dream.
"Did everyone see my dream?"
Then you start to over-analyze.
"But why did I dream that? Oh my God.
"Am I still in love with them?
"Am I a bad person?"
And then when you see the person you dreamt about
you're all like "Hey".
"Hey, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, why?"
"Are you sure?"
"You take your clothes off."
"What?"
"Huh?"
"No, you bend over."
Like get it together, girlfriend.
Go watch Magic Mike XXL and call it a day.
Number three: WTF Dreams. What the F?
Now these are the dreams that you simply
cannot explain because they're so random.
The story keeps changing. Random things keep appearing.
Your clothes keep changing.
It's like a Bollywood movie.
Like for example, once I had a dream, this is a true story;
that Jenna Marbles' pet emu was chasing me through a mall.
And I was like running. And I was like
"Jenna, why?" and she was like
"Huttah! Huttah!" on her pet emu
and I turned the corner and then all of a sudden
a huge wave went through the mall
and I was like "I know how to escape the wave.
"I'll scoot away."
and then a magical scooter appeared
and I was scooting and I'm like
"This doesn't make sense. It's not a surfboard."
But somehow, it worked.
Also, on a separate occasion, I had a dream that
I was in Ryan Higa's living room
and suddenly a huge tsunami hit,
nowhere else, just in his living room
and I was devastated. I was like
(whooshing) Oh my God. Oh my God, save me.
But it wasn't affecting any of them
and they were looking at me like
"So you want to shoot this video now?"
And I was like (gasping).
Like what is the meaning of this?
Who directed this dream? Miley Cyrus?
It's like she came on the set of my dream and was like
"Ok everyone, that's a wrap on this scene.
"Let's bring in the baby turkeys and the salsa dancers.
"Also I'm hungry. Someone bring me a hammer."
Number four: Realistic Dreams
Now these are the dreams that you're
not really sure are dreams or not.
Like did this really happen?
You wake up convinced thinking
the dream actually happened.
And usually they're like really boring, simple dreams.
Like you completing a task, or making a phone call,
or replying to a text.
That's why I never reply to your texts. I'm sorry.
I just included this just so I could use it as an excuse
for not replying to people's texts.
My bad.
No, for real, you're having the dream
and then someone wakes you up and you're like
"Wait what? One second, hold on. Wait.
"Just let me finish buying these bananas. Hold on."
And then the next morning, you's in your kitchen like
"Where the F are these bananas?"
You never bought the bananas.
Don't be bananas.
Bananas are yellow.
Number ...five? Lasagne Dreams
Lasagna is actually pronounced "lasagne".
Now these are the dreams that have so many layers
and you're convincing yourself that you're waking up
each time but you're actually still dreaming.
Like "Oh my God, I'm in the middle of the ocean
"Oh my God, I'm sinking. No. No."
(gasping)
"Thank God. It was just a dream. I'm not in the ocean
"I'm back in my shoe-box. Wait...
"I don't remember living in a shoe-box.
"Oh my God, is it getting smaller?
"It's getting smaller. Oh my God.
"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God."
(gasping)
"That was close. Ok. I need to get up and brush my teeth.
"My bathroom is so messy. There's clothes everywhere.
"Where is this dragon gonna sit?
"There's no space for this dragon."
And then when you actually wake up
you have trust issues and then you're like:
Your mom walks in like "Lilly, hurry up.
"It's getting late. Ok."
And I'm just like "Nice try, Voldermort."
"Aha ha!"
Yow it's mad hot in this onesie right now.
I'm just take off my clothes.
Ok I'm gonna take off my clothes.
I'm taking off my clothes but you can't see.
Wait, you can't see, right?
Number six: Pee Pee Dreams
Wait, did I press record?
Pee Pee Dreams.
You ever been in a situation where you have to
pee so badly?
I mean you're bladder is more full than a stadium
during a One Direction concert. Ok?
You have to pee and you finally find a washroom
and you're like "Yes!" and you start peeing
and you're like "Oh yes. This feels so good."
"Oh my God. Yes."
Then you realize you're dreaming
and you wake up and you're not in the washroom
and you peed.
It happens to all of us at least once. Stop lying.
And I'm just like yow imagine our faces
while we're peeing in our dreams
just trying to be like:
And then we wake up to the horror.
And when you feel so embarrassed that
you start being so critical of yourself.
Where you're just like "Oh my God honestly,
"everyone else is getting married, getting their PHD,
"and I'm just sitting here pissin' myself in my dreams.
"I can't do anything right. Not even urination.
"I freaking suck."
Number seven. I could be totally wrong
I just totally lost count.
Number 41. The Living Dream
Now this is the best type of dream.
This is the dream you get to live everyday
because your dreams came true.
For example, my life because of all of you beautiful people
and the amazing feeling I get
every single time I go on stage.
Speaking of which,
What up segue?
I'm currently on my North American tour
and if you don't know, now you know.
I'm coming to these cities.
Today: Hartford, Connecticut.
July 11th: Washington, DC.
July 12th: Boston.
July 15th: Kansas City.
July 16th: Chicago.
July 18th: Vancouver.
July 19th: Seattle.
July 21st: San Francisco.
July 22nd: Anaheim.
If you haven't gotten your tickets yet,
you can at www.lillysinghtour.com
and there are still VIP packages available
for some of those cities. Some are sold out
but you can meet at greet me. So that's awesome.
So go right now. www.lillysinghtour.com. Go!
Also, on the note of my tour, I will say that
some people have been asking me saying
"Are you coming to this city? Coming to that city?"
As of right now, these are all of the final confirmed dates
and my tour ends on the 22nd so,
this is what it is.
Find the city closest to you.
Grab your tickets because I will not be
announcing any more cities any time soon.
That's all for now. I hope you enjoyed this video.
If you did, comment below and let me know
if I forgot a type of dream that you've experienced.
Give it a big thumbs up and check out
my last video right there.
It is called "What Your Friends Really Mean"
and if you're on a cellphone and annotation doesn't work,
I'll also put the link in the description
so you can click that.
You can check out my vlogs right there.
And you can subscribe because I make new videos
every Monday and Thursday.
One love, Superwoman. That is a wrap.
Also thank you so much to the fan that
got me this onesie. I love it.