The world of adult animation is a sphere we’ve explored many times. Ranging from one
of the longest-running shows of all time, The Simpsons, to newer iconic shows like
Rick & Morty. Adult animation has slowly become more and more popular. But of course, these shows
have also parodied a very popular genre of film, the heist movie. Which leads us to ask,
which of these characters would be best in a heist?
I’m Kyle with WickedBinge and this is Which Adult Animated Characters
Would Make the Best Heist Crew?
One major caveat before we continue, we’re only
going to be talking about the main and major characters of the shows we’re speaking about,
whether that be the main family or the slightly extended cast.
The first crew member we need to pick out is The Brains. Without good strategy planning,
any heist is doomed for failure. So we need someone with some brainpower.
We have quite a few characters we can see being the brains of our operation,
whether they be the smartest of the smart or just the cleverest in their show, here are our brains.
The ever-intelligent Rick Sanchez from Rick & Morty, the powerfully pink Princess Carolyn
from Bojack Horseman, and brilliant baby Stewie Griffin from Family Guy.
When it comes to Rick, he is by far the smartest character in his universe,
he’s a literal genius who can make a million different things including whole worlds. He has
literal god-like powers at times, has little-to-no care about anyone else’s life or happiness,
and will do anything he needs to do to get what he wants. He discovered inter-dimensional travel,
something multiple alien races want to kill him for, has a vast knowledge of the universe
and so much more. However, there is one major drawback about Rick, he absolutely hates heists,
there is an entire episode about how he hates heists and won’t participate in them,
so we don’t think he qualifies, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t talk about him.
The next character we would like to cover is Princess Carolyn,
Bojack’s agent and friend. While PC might not be a literal genius or have the highest I.Q.,
she’s definitely heavily intelligent, full of wisdom and with plenty of unique skills.
She has got Bojack out of plenty of bad situations throughout the series,
showing she’s quite the smart cookie. The only problem with PC is the aforementioned
lack of being a literal genius, however, we think she’s smart enough to dispel that problem.
The last character we have to talk about as a potential brainy leader is Stewie
Griffin. Stewie is one of the smartest characters in fiction, and he’s only a
year old. He’s created a multitude of special inventions, from shrink rays to time machines,
knows how to fight despite his age and is a trained marksman. In fact, he could
fill out most of this heist crew by himself. However, there is one major issue with Stewie,
and that is his age and physicality, he can be easily lifted and thrown around,
carried, and punted if need be. He is also still a baby and is very easy to emotionally
manipulate if necessary, however, his genius level intellect does counter-act that to a degree.
So we have to pick Stewie Griffin as our leader, logically we would place Rick in this place,
but he would refuse to participate, so we place Stewie instead. Stewie’s intelligence
is nearly unmatched, and he is one of the smartest characters in adult
cartoon history, especially when you consider the universe he is in.
With intelligence checked off the list, let’s move onto The Safecracker.
This crewmember needs nimble fingers, a level head and the ability to work under pressure.
We do have a couple options here. Owner of Dale’s dead bug and Rusty Shackleford himself,
Dale Gribble from King of the Hill, and finally demon familiar Luci from Disenchantment.
Dale Gribble is a bit of a weird case, because he has a lot of skills and interesting abilities. Not
only is he skilled in the execution of bugs, but knows a bit about combat and seems to be
skilled in thievery of some kind. Dale’s hands are shown to be quite quick and deft, and he’s been
exterminating bugs for many years. However, he is shown to be quite childish at times,
and the way he goes about his life is hard to say he would easily make a good safebreaker.
Luci, on the other hand, is a great potential candidate. Luci is a literal demon,
and has a lot of powers because of that. He is able to fly at one point,
can slip into small spaces quite easily, including under doors and is even shown to be quite the
thief. With a wide variety of skills he is able to make quite the safecracker because each of
his skills lend to being a massive asset. He’s an agent of chaos, which means he definitely knows
what he’s doing, and that means he’s a pretty good option. However, we don’t see him actively
safecrack as far as we can remember, and he does go a bit overboard at times which can be an issue.
However, after some deliberation we have decided that Luci is our choice for safecracker.
Even if we don’t see him cracking open safes during the show, his deft hands,
shifting body and immense list of abilities make it a pretty easy pick in our opinion.
Moving on, it’s important to note we live in a high-tech world. Filled with security systems,
surveillance and all sorts of gadgets that protect the valuables. For that reason,
we’ll need a Hacker. Someone who’s tech-savvy.
Adult animated shows love to include a tech genius character, and that means we
have a few choices for a possible hacker but these three really stand out to us.
The first is universally dunked-on agent Cyril Figgis from Archer,
the big man himself King Shark from Harley Quinn and alien invader Korvotron from Solar Opposites.
We definitely need to talk about Cyril first, who is undoubtedly smart and worked initially
as a Comptroller, working mostly with computers and not in the field. His computer skills are
some of the best in the company and he has worked with many a security system throughout the show.
He is never shown actively hacking to our knowledge and this does take away from any
potential score, and since he became a field agent, he’s stopped generally with the computer
stuff. However, we do think he may have the skills necessary to be the hacker on our team,
if he wasn’t absolutely blown out of the water.
King Shark is a completely different case because he is a hacker extraordinaire and
with the fact that Harley Quinn brought together her team as a heist crew it makes sense she needed
one. King Shark is not only a hacking guy but he is the social media manager for the team,
and he is shown to be quite the expert in technology despite living in the sea. Not
only that but he is also a big guy and can break through security the old fashioned way if need be,
which makes him quite the well-rounded threat and a pretty good pick. His only major downfall
is the fact that if someone were to draw blood,
he goes quite insane due to his shark biology, but one can only hope that doesn’t come up.
Finally, with Korvotron, he’s quite the smart guy, and a technological genius in most cases.
Sure, he seems to be mostly in tune with alien technology from his home
planet but we see that he is still smart enough to handle most human
technology. This leads us to believe that Korvo is more than skilled enough to handle
most technology. Korvo is shown to be quite smart, although quite hard-headed
at times, which is a bit of a drawback. He is also the type not to listen to someone’s orders
at times, which means he might have a hard time in this role, but we can’t say for sure.
But, we do have to give King Shark the role of Hacker, he is the only one of the three who is
consistently shown to hack throughout the show. In fact, King Shark is the hacker in Harley’s group,
so it’d be no surprise if he were to be the same in this hypothetical.
Heists aren’t all about aggressiveness however. Sometimes you need someone low-key
to blend in with the crowds. That’s why we’ll need a Master of Disguise.
And in all honesty, we only have two potential masters of
disguise, and we’re sure you probably know the potential options.
The first is actor extroardinaire Clayface from Harley Quinn,
and fey pansexual non-human Roger Smith from American Dad.
Clayface is kind of cheating, because as a metahuman with the ability to shift his form
at will, Clayface can literally be anybody. He can shift his body in a multitude of ways,
ranging from forming weapons to copying another or being someone completely new. He’s also an actor,
allowing him to change his character quite easily and on the spot, and is almost always
believable. However, it is worth mentioning that Clayface’s eccentricity and acting prowess
often give away his disguises and stops him from being perfect. He is also prone to losing limbs,
and such limbs will form entire identities when they are seperated.
Roger on the other hand, is also a definitive master of disguise,
and one of the most major and well-known characters in fiction to use disguises like
he does. His disguises range from little girl to serial killer clown to unknown businessman and
everything in between. Roger’s uncanny ability to shift into any disguise
and play it with surprising ease makes him a force to be reckoned with. He barely ever gets caught
in his disguise and not being a well-known supervillain definitely helps. It gets to the
point that although the family is aware of most of his personas, even he can be surprised by which of
his personas are around, and some even take on lives of their own. Roger’s only major drawback
is his dramatic side which leads to a lot of problems even while hidden as a persona.
After heavy deliberation, we’ve chosen Roger Smith to be our Master of Disguise. While he can’t shift
into many different forms like Clayface, his sheer amount of different disguises,
utilization of unique personalities and the ability to disguise others with his
huge costume closet, he barely earns the spot..
Heists are known to get a bit aggressive… and whether it’s
dealing with security… or keeping crowds under control… Any crew is going to need
some Muscle. Someone who can deal with any problems that require sheer brawn.
Whether they’re a hulking beast or someone who knows how to fight well can earn this spot just
as easily. We have quite a few characters we think can take this spot, and they are the following.
The first is Pam Greely from Archer, followed by fan-favorite bodyguard Brock Samson from The
Venture Bros. Next is the time traveling Samurai Jack from the eponymous Samurai Jack, and yes,
b efore you say anything, Samurai Jack’s final season aired on Adult Swim, we’re counting it as
an adult animated cartoon. Anyway, he’s followed quickly by Huey Freeman from The Boondocks.
Pam is a fun one because she doesn’t look like much on the surface, but don’t let that fool you,
her big stature is mostly muscle. She is shown to be a great hand-to-hand fighter,
even being promoted to field agent, and she is shown to be able to take a punch. She makes a
lot of money from fights, able to win most of her encounters and succeed in her goals.
The only drawback with Pam is the fact that she doesn’t seem to have excessive physical strength,
we don’t see her rip doors off hinges or anything of the sort, but from a
pure fighting standpoint, she is quite the threat.
Brock Samson on the other hand is a massive hulk of a man who is one of the strongest
characters in adult animated fiction. He barely feels pain from anything physical,
and can survive almost anything, his body having plenty of bullets, blades and buckshot within
it. He is seen as generally unstoppable and his ability to take pain is matched by his ability
to dole it out, utilzing his fists and melee weapons to great effect throughout
his appearances. He is able to kill almost any beast at a moment’s notice from man to
monster and despite his disdain for firearms is a great marksman. However we don’t see him
utilize his superhuman strength for much more than fighting but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.
Samurai Jack may not have the superhuman strength of Brock Samson, but what he has
is a wide variety of skills. He’s a master marksman, master swordsman, master martial
artist and is at peak human condition. He can cut through most machinery in a single swipe,
jump hundreds of feet into the air and can throw enemies larger than himself
far away. Even with his lean frame he’s quite a threat in a multitude of ways, which means he’s
definitely a good candidate for this section of the list, even if he is a bit outclassed.
The next character on this list is Huey Freeman, who’s in a similar boat to Jack. He isn’t shown
to be amazingly physically strong like Brock or Jack, but much like Jack he is shown to be
an expert fighter. Huey is skilled not only in hand-to-hand combat but in weapon combat
ranging from blades to staves and is even skilled in fighting against armed opponents. He is still
quite the small skinny kid still and not the strongest character in the show, however, he
is quick and agile, which can make him just as threatening.
So, without much deliberation we have to choose Brock Samson as our muscle.
He not only seems to be the strongest of the group with near superhuman strength,
but he is one of the most skilled fighters in his show of origin.
Now, let’s not pretend heists always go smoothly. When the alarms go off and things go south,
sometimes blasting your way out is the only option. That’s why we need a skilled Gunman.
Gun skills are a massive help in a heist, you need the ability to aim and hit true, because without
that, you’re not gonna survive, and we’ve got a few characters we think can take this category.
The first is immortal fourth grader Kenny McCormick from South Park, ISIS special
agent Sterling Archer from the eponymous show Archer, a very similar CIA Special Agent Stan
Smith from American Dad, and a surprising pick for sure, but Bobby Hill from King of The Hill
Archer is a trained special agent, trained in everything from rifles to shotguns to handguns,
he’s known to be a very effective killer and a great shot. His marksmanship skills
are pretty good, while not perfectly superior to everyone else on the crew. He
also has plenty of other skills including hand-to-hand combat, and he knows his way
around every piece of spy equipment there is. The only drawback is that he’s a bit cocky,
and a pain to work with, but we’re sure the others will get over that.
Stan Smith is similar but shockingly different from Archer. Stan was trained in the CIA
and is a much more militaristic special agent, being familiar with more standard issue weaponry
and explosives. Like Archer he knows his way around many a gun and plenty of equipment,
and he has an army of soldiers at his beck and call. However unlike Archer his marksmanship
is not nearly as consistent, and there’s a whole plot about him never actually having
killed anyone which shows that he doesn’t have the instinct to kill, which is a definite drawback.
All accuracy, no kill skills, Bobby Hill is a very interesting case. There is an entire
episode dedicated to not only him learning how to shoot, but becoming a surprisngly
good marksman. He is ten times better than his father and even surpasses Dale to some degree,
and he may even be a better shot than Cotton. Bobby is probably the best marksman out of this
section, but he lacks the killer instinct necessary to be the gunman on our crew.
So, we have to pick Sterling Archer as our gunman. Archer’s marksmanship
may not surpass Bobby’s but his killer instinct is by far the
least suppressed. He will kill just about anything and anyone that gets in his way.
Now, when it’s time to make a getaway… You’re going to hope you picked the
right Driver. The one thing the driver needs to be is fast behind the wheel.
Whether they drive a car, a plane, a motorcycle or something else, knowing how to drive is the
most major part of this role, and knowing how to drive in such a way to lose the cops is even
better. While a lot of adult animated characters drive in their shows, we can only think of two
characters that likely could take this role.
The first on the list is Bart Simpson from The Simpsons, and Captain Leela from Futurama.
While Bart seems like a bit of a weird choice there is more than one episode where Bart not
only drives but proves to be quite good at it. He is not only skilled in the driving
but he knows exactly how to drive just good enough to ignore cops for the most part. He
doesn’t seem to be the type to be part of a car chase, but we think he is more than
skilled in doing so, and unlike Leela knows how to actually drive a 21st century car.
Leela on the other hand is a very skilled pilot and seems like those skills
actually would translate to cars. Her skills are unique because everything goes specifically with
31st Century technology. However, with being a skilled pilot it’s no surprise that she’s quite
helpful in this situation. If she can transfer those skills to a regular car she’d be near
unstoppable and with the steering system in the ship being similar-ish to regular cars,
it’s quite likely. Not only that but she has a wide variety of extra skills like
combat and marksmanship that would be helpful if something goes down.
So, it’s no surprise that we’re saying Leela is our Getaway Driver,
even if Bart is a bit more skilled in 21st Century
Cars, Leela is a trained and intensely skilled pilot which makes her a very easy pick for Driver.
And the last member of the crew is always a mystery… Someone who got recruited last minute.
You never know exactly what they bring to the table, but that’s what makes them The Wild Card.
The first on the list is Eric Cartman from South Park, next is the rambunctious robot
Bender “Bending” Rodriguez from Futurama, the flying side of fries Frylock from
Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and finally the ever popular Mark from The Invincibles.
Eric Cartman is a very interesting case because while he doesn’t have much in
terms of physical strength, he is a mental powerhouse. He is manipulative beyond belief,
just look at when he killed Scott’s parents. Not only is he manipulative but he’s able to
garner a team and lead it very easily and very often. He’s a skilled ventriloquist,
able to draft fake police reports in mere moments and carries more weapons than anyone
else in South Park. However, he is not a fighter, he gets slapped briefly by Kyle
and starts to sob, and he’s shown to still be childish and easily dealt with in most cases.
Bender is a robot with a variety of skills,
each of which are more interesting than the last. His immensely variable composition
makes it hard to pin down his weaknesses and his durability while questionable in some episodes,
is definitely unique by being high in most cases. He can survive in the void of outer space,
survive electrical blasts, bend almost anything without repercussions, He is such a weird entity
because he has such a wide array of abilities that make him an immensely great wild card selection.
Frylock is probably the most interesting we’ve talked about so far, because of his immensely
powerful and immensely varied skillset. He has a variety of elemental energy blasts from his eyes
from ice to lasers. He has super intelligence, the ability to fly and float and also has his
own personal Frydar that can locate almost anything he needs. Frylock is by far the most
wild of the wild card’s so far, but we still have one person to talk about.
We have to talk about Mark, also known as the eponymous Invincible,
a literal superhero and a definitive wild card. He’s only an amatuer superhero
at the moment and even with that he is immensely powerful and completely outmatches almost anyone
on the list. He is half Viltrumite which is an alien race that gives him immense powers
ranging from flight, to superhuman strength, to a healing factor AND nigh invulnerability.
With the fact he’s still young, it’s also likely he may develop more powers and more
uses for his powers in the future which means we could very well see him become more powerful.
So, yeah, it’s no surprise Mark earns our Wild
Card spot, so much so we moved him to this category so he wouldn’t sweep our muscle
category. Mark is so immensely powerful, he has all of Superman’s strengths and
knows how to use them, and he makes a well-rounded ending to the heist crew.
And that wraps up our heist crew. Let us know in the comment section what you think
their likelihood of success will be… and tell us which animal characters you think should
be on the team. Make sure to hit that notification bell and binge our other videos;
But most importantly, stay wicked.