-Oh, hi. Today's Friday.
That's usually when I meditate a little bit
and kind of clear my head over this long, stressful week.
It's also kind of great to embrace the quiet
and embrace -- [ Laughing ]
-Yeah, yeah, Da-da! Yeah, yeah! [ Laughing ]
-All new "Tonight Show: At Home Edition" starts now.
[ Laughter ]
[ Laughing continues ]
You have lost -- you're upside down.
You're upside down. [ Laughing ]
♪♪
-Hi, everybody. What a long week it's kind of been.
But thank you so much for tuning in and watching our show
and giving to all these great charities.
A couple people have asked if I am giving
to these charities as well, and, yes, my family is donating
to every charity that we've mentioned
so far during these shows.
And thank you so much. Every amount counts.
So I really appreciate that.
And, man, it's been a really interesting week.
Day 15, is it?
Day 15, and I just want to say first off, Hoda,
I feel you, buddy.
And everyone's just showing their creative ways of dealing
with this and being so kind to each other out there.
And I want to say thank you for that.
I miss my crew and everybody back at the show.
But everyone helping us here, I am so proud of this team.
Thank you, everyone involved in "The Tonight Show,"
and thank you to my neighbors, by the way.
I've been getting a bunch of drawings from kids
saying that -- what their favorite bits are
and thanking me for doing the show.
And today I got an edible arrangement.
I didn't even know they do this.
It was just a box of vegetables.
I didn't know they do that. It wasn't arranged at all.
It was really nice, fresh vegetables from Anonymous,
from a neighbor that said,
"Thank you so much for the shows you're doing.
You're making us feel happier and calming me down,"
something like that.
Thank you for whoever sent that and didn't want credit.
I want to give you credit. Thank you so much for that.
I appreciate it.
Now I'd like to do some monologue jokes
that really go over -- they go over really well.
So here we go.
Should I -- maybe I'll walk in.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."
-Whoo-hoo. -Well, it's Friday night
and the weekend is here.
If you're bummed that you're stuck inside, just imagine
that you have two brunches, a kid's birthday party,
and a dance recital to go to.
[ Imitates cheering ]
That is getting pots and pans banging everywhere.
People are applauding for that joke.
I really need to get out.
I watch so much TV that I've now memorized the entire
William Shatner sleep apnea commercial.
[ Imitates Shatner ] "William Shatner here.
You know, I've been using a CPAP machine
for over ten years and it's made a world of difference to me."
Seriously, though, I'm watching so much TV,
today I accidentally called my daughters Kendall and Kylie.
I'm so desperate to get outside,
when someone throws one item in the garbage,
I bag it up and take it out to the trash can.
BRB. Be right back.
I'm really running out of ways to stay entertained.
Last night I left our back door open and prayed
raccoons would come in.
Things are getting a little crazy at the house.
This afternoon I went into the bathroom and caught
my Roomba in the dark watching "Wall-E."
"Someone's in here."
My Roomba told me to knock.
I saw that Hallmark is giving away one million free cards
so people can send notes to loved ones.
That's really great because if there's one thing we need
right now, it's people touching licked envelopes.
And finally, I saw a poll that said men are less likely
to follow social distancing guidelines than women,
which means a year from now, the only people on Earth
will be four billion women and Dr. Fauci.
That's tonight's monologue. [ Laughter ]
I got a little camera shake there.
Tonight's guests are Tina Fey, who I just love.
I've known her forever now from "Saturday Night Live,"
and she used to write for me, then we were "Weekend Update"
partners, and then the rest is -- she's amazing.
I thank her so much. She's going to be talking
about cityharvest.org.
We're also going to talk to Chef Jose Andres,
who is just awesome.
He's on the cover of "Time" magazine right now
for what he's doing with World Central Kitchen,
wck.org. That's his charity.
And we'll be talking everything that he's going on.
I think he's going to be in his kitchen.
I want to quickly first give a congrats to our pal.
I don't know if you can see it here.
Kamal. Kamal had a baby boy.
-Kamal, whoo-hoo! -Kamal, we love you, guys!
-We love you! -Oh, my gosh!
Congratulations to the whole fam.
Beautiful baby boy.
That's the best news ever, man.
A baby just makes everyone happy.
So that is awesome, buddy. I miss you so much, Kamal.
I miss everyone in The Roots.
In fact, we got together and --
through Zoom and technology --
and made a little song because right now
I think everyone feels like we're a little stuck
in the middle.
Please enjoy.
-One, two, three, hit it.
♪♪
-♪ Well, I don't know why I came here tonight ♪
♪ I got the feeling that something ain't right ♪
♪ I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair ♪
♪ And I wonder how I'll get down the stairs ♪
♪ Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right ♪
♪ Here I am, stuck in the middle with you ♪
♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪
♪ And I'm wondering what it is I should do ♪
♪ It's so hard to keep a smile on my face ♪
♪ Losing control, I'm all over the place ♪
♪ Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right ♪
♪ Here I am, stuck in the middle with you ♪
♪ Well, you started out with nothing ♪
♪ And you're proud that you're a self-made man ♪
♪♪
♪ And your friends they all come crawling ♪
♪ Slap you on the back and say ♪
♪ Please ♪ ♪♪
♪ Please ♪
♪♪
♪ Well, I'm trying to make some sense of it all ♪
♪ But I can see it makes no sense at all ♪
♪ Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor ♪
♪ No, don't think I can take anymore ♪
♪ There are clowns to the left of me ♪
♪ Jokers to the right Here I am ♪
♪ Stuck in the middle with you ♪
♪ Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you ♪
♪ Here I am, stuck in the middle with you ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm ♪
♪ Stuck in the middle with you ♪
[ Song ends ]
[ Applause ]
♪♪
-Hi, everybody. Welcome back to
"The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."
Today is Friday, and that's usually when I, you know,
check my inbox, return some emails.
And, of course, I send out thank-you notes.
And I have my buddies here helping me out today.
So I'd like to write out some thank-you notes right now.
If that's okay with you. -[ Fusses ]
-Okay, buddy. Frances --
-[ Fussing ]
Okay, Frances, you know your job, right?
♪♪
-Thank you, showers,
for once being a routine part of my day
and now feeling like a major accomplishment.
♪♪
[ Boos ]
[ Laughs ]
-[ Giggles ] -Um...
[ Boos ]
Thank you, getting food delivery,
for suddenly making me feel like I'm a spy
intercepting an elaborate drop.
"The hamburgers are in the hole."
[ Boos ]
"I repeat, the hamburgers are in the hole."
[ Boos ]
All right. Just press the purple one. That's good.
♪♪ [ Boos ]
Thank you, journals, for now reading less like a diary
and more like a captain's log
after being lost at sea. [ Boos ]
All right. Here we go. Just the purple one.
Just this one. -I got that.
-Yep. -[ Giggles ]
♪♪
-Thank you, socks, for being the new shoes.
You can pick up that one now.
♪♪
-[ Shouting ]
♪♪
-Who is that? -Just a stranger.
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
Thank you, journals,
for now reading less like a diary and more like
a captain's log after being lost at sea.
[ Drumming, light laughter ]
[ Drumming ]
That's good. You can go to the next one.
[ Drumming ] ♪♪
-It's definitely Friday around here.
♪♪
-Thank you, making shows from home, for making me feel like
I got a promotion from talk show host
to YouTube star.
Don't forget to smash that like button.
Next one.
Thank you, couch, for really stepping up
during this difficult time to become a desk,
table, bed, bookshelf, and trash can.
Next one.
♪♪
Thank you, Dr. Anthony Fauci listening to Trump,
for looking like me when someone suggests
a 9:00 A.M. Zoom meeting.
♪♪
[ Murmurs ]
♪♪
Thank you, 40-minute limit on free Zoom software.
Seriously, thank you, thank you, thank you.
40 minutes is enough.
That's good.
Thank you, "welp,"
for being the official slogan of wrapping up a phone call
during quarantine.
Come on.
♪♪
Thank you, virtual happy hours,
for being a great rebranding for drinking alone.
♪♪
And that's our thank-you notes right there.
Thank you to Winnie. Thank you to Frannie.
And thank you to my wife for operating this camera.
We'll be right back with Tina Fey, everybody.
♪♪
-I got to catch up with one of my favorite people today.
From her apartment in Manhattan, here is Tina Fey.
Tina Fey, welcome to "The Tonight Show at Home Edition."
I love you, buddy. You're looking great.
Thank you so much for doing this.
I appreciate it so much. -It's my pleasure, pal.
It's good to see you. -Great to see you, as well.
And where are you? Are you in Manhattan still?
-I'm in Manhattan.
We're holed up in our apartment here in New York City.
And so far, so good.
We're doing what we're supposed to do.
-How are the girls? -They're doing pretty well.
They didn't like going outside anyway, so...
-This is kind of perfect for them.
-We're dragging them outside, and they're like, "Or...
stay in here and play all the screens that we want?"
I'm like, "Fair enough."
-Your kids are pretty creative from what I know.
I heard that they were -- They thought
of an interesting way to have dinner at your house?
-Yes, this was awesome, and I wanted to tell you about it
because I feel like it's something you can do --
anyone can do at home if they're trying to fill time.
My older daughter, Alice, is 14 now,
and she saw this idea online,
so thank you to whoever put this idea online originally.
But she was saying, like, we should do theme dinners.
And we did one the other night,
and it was an airplane-themed dinner.
And the thing that was great about it
was it took a lot of time, right, for them to get ready.
Also, I don't know if your girls are this way,
but Alice was actually kind of helping her little sister
get ready for it, and the little sister is just, like,
so pumper when her big sister pays attention to her at all.
-Oh, yeah. -She was just, like, pumped.
And they dressed up like --
Penelope dressed up like a stewardess.
Here. Let me find these pictures. I'll show them to you.
It was really cute. Um...
-That is hilarious.
-She dressed up like a stewardess.
They did the whole like --
I don't know if you can hear this.
Like, a whole safety, uh...
-...your chair. If you lose air...
-So cute.
-...the air masks will fall from the cabin above.
-The whole safety thing. [ Laughs ]
-Oh, my gosh!
-They turned all the chairs.
They were like -- I'm getting a text.
There were magazines in the back of the chairs.
-[ Laughs ]
That is brilliant! -They had -- We had dinner.
They -- They served it on,
like, big old trays, which was good.
My husband made -- We had --
well, we had macaroni and cheese and spam,
but it was on the trays. -[ Laughs ]
-And then also they were -- Because they were treating us
like a really nice flight, they were like,
"Would you like a glass of wine?"
And we were like, "Yes."
And the great thing was, afterwards, they were like,
"We didn't know how much wine was too much."
And I was like, "Yeah, you didn't, 'cause this was..."
-Yeah! That's what I'm talking about!
-An ample first-class pour.
-I want them at my dinner party.
-She put an airplane window on our TV,
and I wore a sleep mask,
and for the next 18 months, that's me.
-[ Laughs ]
-That's Quaran-Tina.
-[ Laughs ] -Ooh, that's pretty good.
-Oh, also, by the way, the last thing I'll say
about airplane dinner -- the other reason to do it
is once your seat belts are on and everything's done,
the dinner part is everyone sitting quietly.
If you have enough phones,
everyone watching a movie on their own device.
-Genius.
-It will be the quietest dinner.
[ Laughter ]
-It is absolutely genius. -It's great.
Thank you to the Internet for that.
Yeah, the other thing that we did, which was super fun --
we did a thing --
We did an online talent show with my --
our kids, a bunch of us, over this very technology.
We used Zoom, and so if you have a Zoom work account,
you should definitely abuse it and use it for other things.
So it was, like, my ladies, Maya Rudolph's kids,
Amy Poehler, Emily Spivey, Ana Gasteyer's kids,
and we -- Again, another thing that was nice about it
was it took about a week.
We were sort of like, "Guys, probably this weekend,
probably there's a talent show,
so you need to think about what you're going to do."
So there'd be times where I would be screaming, like,
"Get off of your screens! Go practice for the talent show."
And it would kind of work.
-Wow. -So everyone really brought it,
and then the other thing that was super cute
was we realized kind of like in the half hour before
that we could probably get links to all --
as many as we could of the grandparents.
And so right when we went to do it,
it was like -- My mom was able to get on.
Amy's parents.
Emily Spivey's parents in North Carolina.
And it was so cute.
Shoemaker watched it from... -No way!
-"I'll watch it. I have nothing to do."
Friends of mine in Florida.
And so everyone -- It was so sweet to see everyone,
like, come together on the Zoom.
And Archie Arnett -- Amy's son Archie was the host.
He did an awesome job.
Rome Spivey did -- He did a sketch
that was an old Emily Spivey cut-for-time sketch
about, like, an ad for a barbecue place,
and it was like, "Come on down to our barbecue."
And he committed. It was so cute.
Ulysses McKittrick did close-up magic.
-No way. -Penelope did --
Penelope is using this time to practice contortionism
'cause she's -- 'Cause why wouldn't she?
Why wouldn't she find a way to make us nervous the whole time?
So she does some, like --
[ Laughter ]
And the first 27 minutes --
I recorded the whole thing.
The first 27 minutes of the one-hour thing
is just old people
not understanding when they're muted.
-[ Laughs ]
-It's, like, Emily Spivey's dad being like,
"Oh, I don't know. I think they started."
And then it's like -- -"Are we on yet? Are we on yet?"
-Mr. Poehler just like...
It was the best, and if anyone --
If you have the capability to do it, it was super fun.
-Oh, that's great.
I think we have a little clip
we can just show right here real quick.
-This is the end of Penelope doing her --
She did some contortion to
"These Boots Are Made for Walkin'."
The audio wasn't terrific,
but you can kind of get a feel for the vibe
of the FOTS, the First Online Talent Show.
♪♪
-Bravo!
[ Applause ]
-Wonderful! -Good job.
[ Indistinct shouting ]
-Yay. That was fantastic.
Tell Penelope I said she is awesome.
She's very talented. Please tell her.
I know with this whole COVID-19 quarantine shutdown,
Broadway has been shut down,
and your show, "Mean Girls," is currently off.
How is everyone doing and dealing over there?
-Yes. I mean, that was hard.
That's a whole huge industry. It's a huge part of New York.
It's a workplace for so many people.
I've been trying to do stuff to help raise money
for the actors fund in addition
to the City Harvest stuff we're going to talk about today.
But it's rough because it's -- it's a lot of people.
It's a giant industry.
But we are just all kind of sticking together.
Also our tour,-- "Mean Girls" was out on tour,
and that is paused,
and we look forward to, when it's safe to do so,
hopefully adding those cities back that we missed.
But, yeah, we had a meeting yesterday.
It's a very close-knit community,
and we just want to come out the other side stronger.
And when it's safe to come back,
we will be there, and we will welcome you back.
I hope there's some kind of like "I love New York" campaign,
like the '70s. -Ohh.
-We need that when it's safe to do so.
We'll be here and ready to...
-♪ I love New York ♪
-Frank Langella dressed like Dracula.
-That's right! -But, you know,
our "Mean Girls" Broadway, our social channel,
we're trying to give people content
and let them check in if they're fans of the show.
There's always stuff to see there.
-Well, whatever we can do to support when you come back,
we will, please.
-Put you in the "I love New York" commercial.
-Yeah. Exactly. I would totally...
Let's talk about CityHarvest.org.
This is -- -Thank you.
-Winnie does all these graphics.
-Good work, Winnie.
-Yeah. They're getting smaller and kind of less creative.
-She's getting tired of it? -Yeah, she doesn't want to work.
She doesn't like her new job. I'm like, "Come on.
Help me out a little bit, please? Geez."
City Harvest. They're fantastic.
You've done stuff with them before, haven't you?
-Yeah, I mean, I've just been a donor with them before.
And they're a really well-established charity
here in New York City.
I figured this problem is so big,
sometimes it feels good to think locally.
And I encourage people to do so around the country
to support organizations near them, too.
But, you know, New York City is the epicenter of this right now.
It looks calm when you and I talk.
It's calm to see people in their homes who are well.
But there are so many people who are in hospitals right now.
There are so many people who are toughing it out
at home who are super-sick,
who ordinarily would go to the hospital, who can't right now.
And City Harvest is a charity that gets food, healthy food
to at-risk neighborhoods and places
where they don't have great ways to get nutritious food.
And they're currently up and running.
Their mobile markets are going.
They're still able to be helping out.
And so I think, also, not just right now,
but whenever this settles down,
the economic repercussions of this are going to be major,
and there's going to be a lot of people,
a lot of kids who count on
their school meals who are now homeschooled.
There's going to be a lot of people who are in need
of their services, and I really encourage --
I thank you for inviting me to talk about it,
and I encourage people to donate.
-These people are angels that are helping everyone out.
And right now, if anyone's watching on YouTube,
there's a "donate" button next to it.
So just click that button, and you'll donate.
Anything matters. Everything.
Just give a dollar. Give 50 cents.
It's -- I can't even stress how awesome that is
that we can just do that, and it will feed so many people.
You have no idea. So thank you. This is a great charity.
Thank you so much for doing this.
I really appreciate it.
And on behalf of everyone watching the show,
they all appreciate it, too, so thank you.
While we're all quarantined and cooped up at home.
I'd like to play a game based on a board game
that you can actually play called -- Uh-oh.
-Probably -- I told you there's a Japanese water ghost
in my house.
-What is going -- -My house is pretty haunted,
and just sometimes --
Sometimes a specter --
You can't even quite -- Oh, there -- Oh, gosh!
-Wow!
-Oh, gosh. -Oh, my gosh. That's freaky!
-Help me! -Hey!
I don't see anything, Tina. I think you're just --
-Do you want to show...?
-[ Laughs ]
-Aww. Hi, cutie.
That was a good -- [ Laughs ] That was a good bit.
-She has a history of being creepy around you.
-She does, but all funny stuff and creative stuff.
-She came...one time, and she drew, like,
really creepy, scary pictures and left them. Um...
-It was, like, dead birds and stuff, right?
-She's -- It's fine. She's a Wednesday Addams.
-I love her. Oh, dude. Winnie's obsessed with Wednesday.
All right. So, we're going to play this game.
It's something I saw on the Internet, but it's a board game.
It's called "Hey Robot," and what it is,
is I have a bunch of random words in a jar.
And I'm going to pick one out,
and then you have to ask Alexa, which is right here,
or whatever speaker you have in your house --
You have to say something to get the robot to guess the word.
You can't say the word, but you understand the idea.
It's like "Taboo" and all that. -"Password" and all that.
-Yeah. -I have such a wimpy voice
that sometimes even in my own house,
the Alexa ignores me, so I'll do my best.
Sometimes I'll be like, "Alexa, set a timer."
And she's just like...
Like, "Alexa!"
-[ Laughs ] Slap it. Clapping.
"Hey, Alexa! I asked you!" All right.
Ready? Here's your first word.
-Okay, so, the funny thing is
I have to take my glasses off to see better.
-Oh, I'm getting there, too. All right.
-Oh, gosh. -It is "pickle."
-Okay. Oh, gosh.
-Let me know when you're ready, and I'll press the Alexa button.
-Um...
Oh -- Uh -- Sure. I mean, press it whenever.
-All right. Here we go. Ready? -Okay.
[ Beep ]
-Alexa, what's a recipe
for salted, marinated cucumbers?
[ Beep ]
-Okay. For salted marinated cucumbers,
I recommend marinated cucumber, onion, and tomato salad.
2 hours, 15 minutes to make. What would you like?
Start recipe, send it to your phone,
or hear next recipe.
-Oh. It's your turn. All right.
-Alexa, stop. All right. Here we go.
I'm going to -- Oh, I know.
Alexa, what does Vlasic make?
[ Beep ]
-Here's something I found on the Web.
According to wikipedia.org, Vlasic pickles is an...
-Yeah! That counts! [ Laughs ]
All right. Alexa, stop. All right.
Here we go. Now let's try another one here.
[ Beep ]
Uh-oh.
"Saxophone."
-Okay. Ready? -Yep.
-Alexa. Alexa. What instrument does Bill Clinton play?
[ Beep ]
See? They can never hear me.
-She couldn't hear you.
-No, it's my weird ghost voice!
-That's weird. [ Laughs ]
-Am I not real? Have I never been --
Am I -- Have I always been the...?
Okay. -Try it again. Ready?
Here we go.
-Alexa, what instrument does Bill Clinton play?
[ Beep ] -Saxophone.
-Yeah! First thing out of the gate!
That is the best one yet!
Crusher. Yes.
All right. -Thanks for your feedback.
-All right. Cool. Very polite.
All right. That was killer.
Oh, my God. That was the first --
That was the first word she said.
You probably get bonus points for that.
I'll give it to you. -Okay.
-Okay. Here's my word. -Okay.
-"Unicorn." Oh, man. Unicorn.
Gosh. I have no idea.
Um, um, unicorn. Unicorn.
Um, oh, God. I'm going to come off as an idiot here.
Um...
Alexa, what do you call a horse with a horn?
-According to an Amazon customer, unicorn.
-Yes! I love Amazon customers!
"According to an Amazon customer, a unicorn."
-Think about that.
They searched all of Amazon's customer comments that fast?
-Wow. That is bizarre. All right. Here we go.
Your word is... -Mm-hmm.
Okay.
-..."cowboy."
-Hmm. That's -- Okay.
Uh...
What is -- Alexa, what is the name of the job --
-Alexa is me.
I'm a virtual assistant who can help you with lots of things.
...alarms, weather reports...
-Alexa. Alexa, stop. Stop. -Alexa.
-Oh, my God. Change your voice. Maybe British accent, maybe?
-[ British accent] Alexa, what kind of doll
is Woody from "Toy Story"?
-[ British accent] Alexa, what kind of doll
is Woody from "Toy Story"?
-Here's something I found on the Web.
According to OrlandoSentinel.com,
Andy's favorite is Woody, an old-fashioned cowboy doll.
-Yes! -...toys.
-For the win. Tina Fey. That was worth 10,000 points.
You are the champ of "Ask Robot."
I love you, bud. Oh, my gosh.
[ "Don't Fear the Reaper" playing ]
It's playing music. This is crazy.
-"Don't Fear the Reaper." -[ Laughs ] Oh, my gosh!
This is weird, right? All right.
Hey, pal, I'll talk to you --
I'll talk to you later this week or something.
Thank you so much. I appreciate it.
Bye, buddy. -Bye, pal.
-Chef José Andrés is nothing short of an angel.
I love this guy and what he's doing.
I got to talk to him today in his kitchen.
Please watch.
Oh, that's what I'm talking about.
Chef, my chef.
Oh! That's what I'm talking about!
-Jimmy Fallon. -You look fantastic, buddy.
I love ya.
José Andrés. -Jimmy Fallon.
-You look great, buddy. Oh, my gosh.
Look -- no, no, no, no, no, no.
It looks beautiful.
-...my hair in San Francisco in honor of
all the nurses and doctors that they are fighting this war.
Look at it. -Wow.
I think it looks cool, buddy. I think it looks great.
Hey, I said -- last time I saw you,
I said I won't talk to you again
until you're on the cover of "Time" magazine.
And here we are.
Come on, look at you.
Cover boy. -Yeah, I'm --
I'm very humbled by it, but it's kind of --
World Central Kitchen is not about
I the person, and you know it. -I know.
-The kitchen is about thousands of women and men,
right now in more than ten different missions
across the world,
that they only have one thing in their head,
to feed anybody that is hungry after an emergency.
So that cover is little bit unfair
because it's not really about José.
It's about those men and women
that are making it happen every single day.
So for me to them, that's their cover.
-Absolutely. World --
worldcentralkitchen.org is the website
just so everybody can see that.
My daughter draws these up.
-Wow. -That's not my handwriting.
Yeah, she's getting really good.
-Are you paying her? -[ Laughs ]
She's underpaid right now, yeah.
No, I'm not. I should.
I don't want her to hear that.
But what are you making right there?
-Well, I have my favorite things in the whole world.
We're making a fried rice.
-Oh, I love fried rice.
-And this is a fried rice almost in the honor
of the men and women of China
that they've been going through this crazy mayhem
with the coronavirus.
And I know that people in China are going to be upset
that this is not the real fried rice,
but it's my fried rice, so I ask for forgiveness.
[ Laughter ]
And I think it's a lot of families right now
that they're going through some uncertainty.
Many, many people are losing their jobs.
And there's going to be hard times.
But I think out of the hard times
we should be taking the best out of them.
And I think this is a moment to be saying,
"Man, if I have to be home and I have to cook for the family,
what I can do?"
And this is all the vegetables that you can think of.
They're super inexpensive.
Carrots.
You can be using canned corn.
You can be using chickpeas and green beans.
-Hey, speaking of chickpeas -- -You chop it,
and then you make a fried rice.
-And just put -- just throw it in with a little oil?
-Look at it. A little bit of oil.
I have ginger.
But if you don't have ginger because
it's very fancy, put garlic.
It's okay. You know,
recipes are for you to do whatever you want with them.
Don't follow the recipe.
You need to write your own recipe for success.
So if you have ginger, put it. If not, garlic.
If you don't have ginger or garlic, you know what?
You don't put it.
And then you begin adding any vegetable you want.
Hey, are you going to help me or what?
-Yes. -Look,
my daughter Carlota, Jimmy. -Hello.
-Hi, buddy. Nice to see you again.
-You too. -My daughter, Lucia.
-Hi. -Oh, come on.
-The vegetables. Start adding and start moving.
-You have the best two chefs.
-You have a lot of -- and you start cooking.
Can you smell it in your house?
-Yes, I'm smelling it already through this.
I cannot see it.
And you keep adding vegetables. Hominy.
I'm not going to give you a recipe.
If you like vegetables a lot, put a lot.
If not, put less.
I can do something now, you see?
You can add some chickpeas because cans are good...
-Yes.
-...when you're at home for long periods.
-I have a lot of chickpeas at my house.
-Some corn. Why?
Because canned vegetables are good.
-They are. -I'm French,
but if you don't have -- canned vegetables are excellent.
Actually, they need love.
They feel sometimes like we're shaming them.
[ Laughter ]
Vegetables in a can, they have feelings too.
-Oh, my gosh. -Look at how beautiful they are.
-Oh, my gosh, you guys. -Look at this great --
-You guys, you can get your dad out of there.
-They have feelings.
The poor chickpea. -Oh, my gosh.
-They always say, "Why people think like
we're not good people? We're good people."
-How do you live with this guy?
How do you live with this guy in your house?
-I don't know. -I don't know.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my gosh. -Take a look.
I know this is an expensive machine
and not everybody has it,
but this is a machine that makes rice.
And when it's ready, it's going to sing.
-Really? -I love -- When I come home,
I put the rice machine up and running.
It's back there.
And then when the rice is done, it plays a song.
-Really?
[ Vocalizes "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" ]
-No. But it plays a song.
Look, it's about to happen. It's one minute away.
-One minute away. All right.
Do you have a tip for making rice, by the way?
Is it like -- do you put your --
how do you measure rice with water?
-I use that one because I like
to make Japanese rice and it's more sophisticated.
But between you and me, you only need a pot.
Listen! [ Music chiming ]
-It's not loud enough. -Doesn't matter.
You cannot hear it, but I love it.
It's like -- -I'm dancing.
I'm dancing. I love it. I'm happy.
-The rice is ready.
-Oh, my gosh. -Look at it.
-Come on.
-And then we put the rice inside.
-Look at this. -Okay?
So a little bit more. A little bit more.
Now sautee. Look at it.
-Oh, my gosh.
Guys, get out of the way. Get out of the way.
There's more fire. Oh, my gosh.
-Move, move, move. -Ah!
-Keep away. -[ Laughs ] Oh, my --
You're going to light the house on fire.
-And then some soy sauce. Why?
Because soy sauce is good for you.
It gives flavor. It gives salt.
And then if you have some leftover chicken, you add it.
If you have some leftover chorizo, you add it.
If not, you don't add anything else.
By the way, I have a question for him.
What is your favorite kitchen gadget?
-Oh, I brought it.
I think it's pretty interesting but let me show it
to you and see -- do you see this?
-[ Laughs ]
-Keep your daughter -- see this thing?
-Is this to change your lightbulbs?
[ Laughter ]
-What do you guys think it is? -Is that a whisk?
-That's a whisker for egg whites.
-It kind of is. But, no, you're going to freak out.
This is amazing. So my father-in-law
would find these things in antique stores
and refurbish them and refinish them.
This thing right here is a hand mixer.
Check this out.
This is before electricity, okay?
So you see the grooves there? Watch this.
You take a bowl. You push.
-Oh! -Oh!
[ Hums fanfare ] ♪ Bum, bum, bum... ♪
-Isn't that cool?
-Fun. -Isn't that fun?
-That's so cool!
-You can make egg whites with it,
whipped cream probably. -Yep.
-Or you can do anything else.
-Yeah, that's -- I just thought it was so rad.
I didn't know what it was, but it does that.
-You can do my... -No electricity.
...with it, probably. -No electricity.
And I can -- yeah, I can twirl my hair with it too.
[ Laughter ] -And that's good for mustache.
I'm sure you can play music.
We know you like music. -Oh, you know that.
We've jammed out a couple times.
-You know what my daughters and I --
we've have been doing at home some nights
when I come back from working around the city?
-What?
-We've been doing recipes
at the rhythm of "Hamilton."
So we put the "Hamilton" with permission
of Lin-Manuel Miranda, and then we start cooking,
and we have to cook in the same length as the song.
-Oh, that's a brilliant idea. I was going to ask you
if we can get into a little bit about World Central Kitchen
just so we can talk about it.
What are you guys up to right now?
I know that you're feeding people
quarantined on cruise ships.
You're feeding kids school lunches.
You donated N95 masks to hospital workers.
-We've been doing projects on our own.
We are in many cities, many states.
In others, we're partnering.
In others, we're giving ideas to very good people, men and women
that they are feeding food banks.
They're doing an amazing work.
The school districts all across America,
they're doing an amazing work keeping children fed.
The best of America shows up in these times.
And food, we are here only to be supporting the men and women
that they're fighting this war in the hospitals of America.
Those men and women, they need all of our support.
So if I ask the cooks, we can make sure that anybody
hungry can have a bite of food and that's going to be
a part of the solution, not part of the problem.
That's what the food people of America, we are here to do
so that men and women -- -[ Indistinct talking ]
The men and women of World Central Kitchen --
Oh, oh!
Oh! The [indistinct] are popping up all around the house.
So the men and women of World Central Kitchen,
we're here to support.
If you go to wck.org,
there you are going to see what we are doing,
the maps where we are cooking,
and where other people are doing.
So to all the food people of America,
the woman that is working in the supermarket
eight hours a day making sure that your family is fed,
that woman is also a hero.
The men and women that they are bringing the food
to the supermarkets from different parts of America,
those are heroes.
It's many people that we are going to be playing our role
to make sure that America is taken care of
while we are asking America to stay home.
To those men and women beyond our nurses and doctors,
we know they're heroes.
That adds to our part of supporting their efforts.
A big kiss to you. Big thumb-up
because you are amazing people and we love you,
and when this passes, we're going to make sure
that every man in woman in America
is recognized for their service to this country.
-I totally agree with you. I love that.
How can people at home help?
-Listen, there's many ways we can be helping and you know it.
Obviously wck.org.
You know, we are feeding from children to elderly.
If you want to support us, it's great.
But sometimes if you cannot because times are getting hard,
there's many ways you can be supporting.
If your mayor, if your senators and congressmen,
if your governor is telling you to stay home, stay home.
This is a great way to be helping our nurses
and our doctors to fight this virus.
We want to make sure that the hospitals
are not full of people.
If they're telling you to follow --
to wash your hands 20, 30 seconds, do it
because this way you're not spreading the virus.
It's not a joke. This is serious times.
Follow the rules. Follow the people that know.
Follow Dr. Fauci,
who is an amazing hero in these times.
-Isn't he great? -That's what we need to do.
Listen to him. Don't listen to anybody else.
Dr. Fauci is the leader we need.
He's the leader we want.
And we need to follow what he's telling us.
We need to follow those people that are telling us
this is a problem but if we do what we have to do,
this problem is going to go away.
So that's what people can be doing at home.
Sometimes just following the rules.
-Chef, what can we do?
You know, I love my restaurants and I love my chefs.
I love my servers.
I want to support them in any way I possibly can.
I feel so bad that, you know,
but I understand you can't go out to dinner there.
But what can I do? What can we do?
-We talking there's millions and millions
of food service professionals --
cooks, waiters, farmers, delivery guys.
And I believe that in these hard times
we all need to recognize, obviously, if you have --
if you can be supporting your local restaurant,
many restaurants, they have employee funds
that they are collecting money from guests.
Me, I was able to be very lucky with my partners,
but I understand not every restaurant can do that
because restaurants, they have sometimes very short profits.
I've been able to offer four weeks, full benefits,
and full salary to every single front
and back of the house, every single member.
And if I can, I'm going to do two more weeks at least.
But other people cannot.
So we need to make sure that as Congress is passing these bills,
it's going to be other bills.
And we need to make sure that we are protecting the people,
the small businesses beyond we protect anybody else.
-Yeah. -'Cause restaurant industry,
90-plus percent of the dollar
you pay to a restaurant trickles down across America.
-Every single thing you do from Instagram, from whatever,
even hanging out and meeting your family,
your awesome family, you just keep spreading that energy
and that love and that spirit because it comes through.
And we need it right now. And we need you.
And you're the greatest. I love you.
Thank you so much for doing my show, buddy.
The best.
-Feed America.
We need to remember that because there's many
that are working right now on the farms,
and they are not recognized by our system.
They're undocumented and those are many of the men and women
who are going to keep putting food on our tables.
When all this is over, I hope Congress will recognize
that once and for all
and make sure that we pass immigration reform
because these are the men and women
that are going to be feeding America
during these next few weeks.
Let's make that happen.
-We love you, Chef. Thank you so much.
Thank you again. I'll talk to you soon.
Thank you. -Good night.
♪♪
-Thank you guys so much for watching the show.
cityharvest.org.
wck.org.
My thanks to Tina Fey and Chef José Andrés.
Really, thank you guys for watching this whole week.
This is what the week has felt like.
Exactly -- this exact thing.
Okay. Stay safe.
Take care of each other.
Wash your hands. Don't touch your face.
I'll see next week with all new shows.
I love you guys. Thank you so much.
Oh, my gosh.
-Save yourself. -You can't go with me.
Bye!
♪♪