I love the Legend of Zelda series.
But the canonical timeline doesn’t make any sense!
Perhaps it would make more sense if someone tried to put every single piece of Zelda media,
canonical and noncanonical, into one timeline.
Someone should try to do that.
Let’s go!
Let’s start with the canonical timeline.
So we’ve got Skyward Sword at the very beginning.
Created Demise, and then he becomes Ganon later on.
Link gets resurrected.
It’s Minish Cap.
It introduces Vaati.
He’s a wind sorcerer.
And then he also shows up in Four Swords.
That comes next.
After Four Swords, Vaati is sealed, Ganon’s back, baby!
And it’s Ocarina of Time.
So Ocarina of Time splits into three different timelines here.
In one of them, Link decides to stay an adult, Ganondorf gets resurrected, and Link is nowhere
to be found.
And where’s Link?
Where’s Link?
I’ll get to it, don’t worry, I’ll get to it.
And then the whole world floods, and we get Wind Waker.
This one I’ll call “Adult Link.”
In this one, he decides to stay a child, the sacred realm is sealed, he’s finished his
entire meaning of existence by the time he’s like 12, and so he goes and does Majora’s
Mask, which is also very existential.
And then over here, Nintendo decided to make a timeline where Link loses.
Link just can’t do it in this one.
Ganondorf does whatever the hell he wants to, and now it’s A Link to the Past.
One of my friends invited me over to watch him beat Ocarina of Time, because he was really
close to finishing it, and then I went over and then he couldn’t do it, and so then
we decided to go outside and play basketball.
This is that timeline.
So we have “Adult Link,” “Child Link,” “Basketball.”
Let’s go back to “Adult Link.”
After Wind Waker, he just goes and hangs out with pirate friends in Phantom Hourglass.
We go to Spirit Tracks.
This is on a different island, and technically there is Link and Zelda, except Link is really
into trains now.
Let’s do the child one!
We go from Majora’s Mask into what is canonically called the Era of Twilight.
Obviously, it’s Twilight Princess next.
Then it gets a little bit darker and goes into the Age of Shadow.
We do Four Swords Adventures, which is different from Four Swords.
One has Adventures in the title.
Here’s some issues with canon over here in “Basketball” timeline.
In the Hyrule Historia, which came out in 2011, it states that next should be Oracle
of Seasons and Oracle of Ages, but the Japanese Zelda website technically states that it goes
Link to the Past, Link’s Awakening now.
So they’ve reversed those two.
So even the canonical timeline isn’t, like, super hard set-in-stone canonical, which goes
to show that it sucks.
He does this thing and then he goes sailing and then he crashes and has a dream and then
dies in the ocean.
I’m gonna keep Oracle of Seasons and Oracle of Ages tied together right now.
A new Link, new cycle, and he goes A Link Between Worlds.
And then it’s another existential crisis, but this is my favorite one because instead
of having an existential crisis and then going to have to save the world from a moon, or
having an existential crisis and hanging out with pirates, he just gets really into fashion
in Tri Force Heroes, which is what I plan to do in my midlife crisis.
It’s The Legend of Zelda, the first one!
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link.
This is the same Link between these two.
A cult wants to resurrect Ganon or something.
We’re at the most recent game, and the most recent in the timeline, it’s Breath of the Wild.
You might be wondering, where does Breath of the Wild fall?
In which timeline?
Is it “Basketball,” is it “Child,” or is it “Adult?”
Well guess what: IT’S ALL THREE.
NINTENDO COULDN’T FIGURE IT OUT, SO THEY DECIDED TO JUST PUT IT IN ALL OF THE TIMELINES.
WHICH ISN’T HOW TIME WORKS…
TO MY KNOWLEDGE.
*vague gesturing*
I’m gonna make this timeline much worse, but I’m gonna also explain the convergence.
So what I’m gonna go to next is Zelda spinoff games.
I’m not gonna talk about some specific things, namely cameos, or when you can buy Link’s
clothing in other games, or some of the mangas because they’re just the same exact stories
as some of the main canonical timeline games.
I’ve wrapped all of these up.
Some of them don’t have connections yet.
Don’t worry, I’ll get to it.
Let’s start with the easy Zelda spinoffs.
There were a lot of them during Twilight Princess.
Link was also learning how to use his crossbow for big game hunting, and also it was Twilight
Princess Picross.
Midna wanted to… she thought picross would help him…
beat Zant.
We’ll start from the beginning.
Skyward Sword was supposed to be the first one, but they’re wrong.
Hylia chose her first hero, there was, like, a lot of time between the first hero and the
one that happened in Skyward Sword, and in that time was the Zelda Game & Watch.
Just like in Skyward Sword, there was an upper level and a bottom level, and then there were
dragons also in Skyward Sword.
That’s my logic behind this one.
You say “Zelda Game & Watch, what about the Zelda Game Watch?”
That’s right, the Nelsonic Zelda Game Watch.
This was a watch that you could play Zelda on, and there were only four dragons in this one.
Why?
Because the other Link already defeated the other ones!
There were three other dragons in Skyward Sword, and they were nice because they learned
that Link would fuck their shit up!
Link: The Faces of Evil and Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon.
I’m not an expert on this one because I’ve never played them.
Which I think is probably the best decision I’ve made in my life.
Right over here, why?
Because in Link: The Faces of Evil he has to go to the island of Koridai.
Islands?
In the great sea!
Obviously, that’s where they make sense to go.
Uh, Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon can go there, too.
SQUADALA!
But that’s not the only CD-i game!
There’s also Zelda’s Adventure.
Ganon, I guess he stole some celestial something-or-others, and then it started the era of darkness.
And remember what I said before about how it went to twilight and then to shadow?
What comes after that?
That’s right it’s darkness, baby!
Y’all know about the Satellaview?
It was a weird thing for the SNES, or the Super Famicom because it was just in Japan.
It insisted on all of the Satellaview games including the letters BS.
BS The Legend of Zelda: Kamigami no Triforce was just basically A Link to the Past, so
I didn’t include it in this one.
But there are other BS Legend of Zelda games, and they’re weird because they don’t actually
include Link.
They include these two characters that you could choose, and they technically part of
the Satellaview thing, so it wasn’t Link who was there, but… um…
I’ll explain in a second.
I cut one of the titles in half.
Clayton, we have to start over.
A Link to the Past happens and then Link goes away on a journey into the water and then
he dies.
What’s happening while Link goes on adventures is BS The Legend of Zelda.
It happens after that, during Link’s Awakening, when Link runs away, which is why those kids
are the ones in this.
And then after that it goes Link…
The Legend of Zelda: Ancient Stone Tablets.
And technically, since those kids are the ones that are in BS The Legend of Zelda, that
technically means that they are an iteration of Link, and so BS-X: The Story of the Town
Whose Name Was Stolen, which was a game that included those protagonists, but, um, didn’t
include anything about Zelda, technically is still a Zelda game, so I included it in
this one.
Barcode Battler II, you had to scan cards with a barcode and then you would have to
battle those enemies using it.
A different retelling of the same story as A Link to the Past, just like looking at it
from a different camera angle.
Tingle exists in actually two different timelines, and he also exists in every timeline, because
Tingle is, um, the perfect evolution of humanity.
He shows up in Majora’s Mask first, and he also shows up in Wind Waker.
We have an origin story for Tingle in Freshly Picked Tingle’s Rosy Rupeeland.
He starts to get the taste *mwah* I love rupees.
And then he starts selling his maps to you in Majora’s Mask, but at the same time as
Rosy Rupeeland is the Dekisugi Tingle Pack, which was, uh, DSiWare, and it just basically
was like a calculator, and like a fortune teller or something.
Tingle’s Balloon Fight DS.
This happens at the same time as Wind Waker.
Over here in “Basketball” timeline, we’ve got Ripened Tingle’s Balloon Trip of Love.
I’m not gonna explain how it connects just yet, because I’ll do that later.
It’s the final Zelda spinoff.
Hyrule Warriors Definitive Edition, and I’m using the definitive edition because that’s
just the collection of all of them, ‘cause there’s three different versions of this game.
I’m gonna put Hyrule Warriors over here, and I’m gonna call this the TIME BREAK.
*THE TIME BREAK*
They made three timelines already, so why can’t I make my own?
Hyrule Warriors is the second most important game in the entire timeline for how it ties
everything together.
Hyrule Warriors.
Think about that, Nintendo!
You made me care about Hyrule Warriors!
But we’re not done with Zelda games.
We’re gonna talk about Zelda character appearances.
If Miyamoto doesn’t, like, email me after this video goes up and say, “Brian, you’ve
cracked the code!”
I’m never gonna play another Zelda game ever again.
This whole goddamn suit is so tight, I feel like a Christmas ham.
I haven’t connected these two right now, because in “Adult Link” timeline, Link
just kinda slacks off, ‘cause he has, again, existential crisis.
He finished beating Ganon, what does he do for the rest of his life?
I’ll tell you what he does: He go-karts, and he fights people…
FOR SPORT.
Super Smash Bros. the original one, Mario Kart 8, and Soulcalibur II.
Got nothing better to do, might as well go have fun, and you know what, I respect that,
but you did forget that Ganondorf got resurrected, and then the whole world flooded.
So that’s on your conscience.
I imagine that Link still has, like, access to the Temple of Time, which is why in Super
Smash Bros. Melee, it happens simultaneously in Ocarina of Time, because he can change
himself into Young Link, and also Ganondorf’s there, and I don’t know why he’s allowed
to fight.
I’ve put these three Super Smash Bros. after Hyrule Warriors in the TIME BREAK.
*TIME BREAK*
And while we’re hanging out in the time break…
Sonic’s here.
Sonic’s in the time break baby!
I swear to god I’m not just using the time break as a catch-all, but it does work as
a catch-all.
There’s this weird-ass game for the Wii called Captain Rainbow.
Technically happens at the same time as Link’s Awakening because it includes Crazy Tracy,
but Link’s Awakening happens within Link’s dream, so that means that Captain Rainbow
might be happening within Crazy Tracy’s dream.
So it’s very much like Inception.
And that means that Joseph Gordon Levitt exists in the Zelda timeline.
That’s a joke.
Joseph Gordon Levitt doesn’t exist in any timeline.
And these are also gonna come down here next to Ripened Tingle’s Balloon Trip of Love.
WarioWare, all of them, and then Scribblenauts Unlimited.
And again, I will explain that later.
Phew, I’m getting too worked up about this.
Canonical games, spin-offs, Zelda appearances in other games, what’s left?
Every other type of media.
I swear to god if I get one “well actually…” comment.
That’s a lost cause, right?
Let’s start with books.
I mentioned before that Skyward Sword was not the first game and that Game & Watch was
the first game.
But it’s not the first instance of Zelda and Link.
Himekawa’s Skyward Sword manga does include the origin of literally… it’s like the
first Avatar, it’s the first Link, first Hylian chosen hero.
First instance of Link.
I really don’t know why Nintendo hasn’t included the choose-your-own-adventure books
because they love to have things that have confusing timelines where Link could potentially
die in them, like in “Basketball” over there.
The Crystal Trap and The Shadow Prince happen canonically after the original Legend of Zelda
and Zelda II.
There are, like, 11 or 12 or 18 different endings.
Stick with me here: you could win The Shadow Prince with high points or you could win The
Shadow Prince with lower points.
Those are two separate timelines in my head.
So low points from The Shadow Prince, you go to the Valiant Comics, and now we’re
gonna talk about TV.
If you win with high points, we go into The Legend of Zelda TV Series.
“Aren’t I sweet?”
After The Legend of Zelda TV Series, Captain N happens, and it’s weird because in this
one, the hero is a guy named Kevin.
He gets sucked into a television.
Captain N creates this potential option of being able to summon yourself into the game,
which explains THESE THREE THINGS.
I TOLD YOU I WOULD EXPLAIN THEM LATER!
Ripened Tingle’s Balloon Trip of Love starts with a dumb 35-year-old man who lives in his
parents’ house and then he gets sucked into a book, and then he goes into Tingle’s land
and he becomes Tingle.
WarioWare shows that the Zelda games exist at the same time which is in Captain N, and
also Scribblenauts Unlimited is here, too!
I haven’t necessarily figured that one out.
Board games!
There are Zelda board games, and they also deserve to be in the timeline.
The Legend of Zelda board game…
The Zelda board game happens if you die in The Crystal Trap, how does that sound?
Alright?
You happy?
But what about Zelda Clue?
That’s…
I guess, happens, uh, during the Super Smash Bros. time, right?
Because they’re having fun together, hanging out.
Zelda Chess!
*exasperated look at the camera*
There’s no plotline in Zelda Chess.
Put it in Ocarina of Time like everything else in this dumbass timeline.
Let me double check that I’ve gotten everything…
But what about the TIME BREAK?
*TIME BREAK*
I told you that I would explain the time break, didn’t I?
And I’m gonna explain it right now.
Why does no one understand the time break except for me, Brian David Gilbert?
Why am I the only scholar in time break studies?
I’ll tell you why.
Hyrule Warriors Definitive Edition happens outside of the timeline entirely, similarly
to Breath of the Wild.
It exists in all of the timelines because Ganondorf’s soul gets split into multiple
pieces that go into different timelines, and again, that’s in the story itself.
Link figures out that there are multiple timelines in this time.
And then he defeats the thing and he goes into existential crisis mode, just like over
here, and like over here, and like over there.
But what does he do when he knows that all of these timelines exist?
He goes and plays Super Smash Bros. with all of his friends in every single timeline.
That’s how Super Smash Bros.
Ultimate can exist, because it’s everyone, all the time, everywhere, and also Sonic!
But the time break still doesn’t fit in.
It’s still by itself over here, right?
Okay, the time break doesn’t have a space.
Link knows about every timeline, and he’s done hanging out with his friends here in
the time break, so what does he do?
He decides to settle down, get a real job.
And what can he do better than anyone else?
That’s right, he knows every location in every timeline.
I’m talking location, location, location.
HE GETS HIS REAL ESTATE LICENSE.
He buys up every land, he consolidates every timeline and pushes it all into one space.
How does he do it?
LEGEND OF ZELDA MONOPOLY.
THE MOST IMPORTANT LEGEND OF ZELDA GAME OF ALL TIME.
THE ONE THAT MAKES BREATH OF THE WILD MAKE SENSE.
REGGIE: TAKE FUCKING NOTES.
I JUST SAVED YOUR ASS WITH MONOPOLY.
THIS IS THE PIN THAT HOLDS THE ENTIRE ZELDA TIMELINE TOGETHER.
YOU MADE ME USE MONOPOLY!
That’s the entire Zelda timeline, including 55 pieces
of Zelda media.
Don’t ask me to do this again.