[LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE GOT HIM] DOWN GOES WALKER.
DOWN
GOES WALKER.
I DID NOT KNOW IT WOULD BE THIS EASY.
SCOTTY
WALKER, WHAT HAPPENED?
WALK ON OUT OF HERE.
LOOK AT ALL THE
PEOPLE DROPPING OUT BEFORE BOBBY JINDAL.
JINDAL'S SITTING AT HOME,
TANNED AND RESTED.
HE IS SITTING THERE LIKE, HE DROPPED OUT TO?
RICK PERRY GONE, SCOTT WALKER GONE.
OH MY GOD.
I THOUGHT YOU
WERE A FIGHTER, DUDE.
I SURVIVED THE RECALL ELECTIONS AND I AM A
FIGHTER AND THAT'S WHAT I AM GOING TO -- I COULDN'T HEAR YOU,
DUDE.
I CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE OUT OF THE RACE.
THIS GUY
WAS LEADING IN IOWA COUPLE WEEKS AGO.
WHAT KIND OF A FIGHTER,
LEADING A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO?
IT WAS NOT TWO, BUT IT WAS CLOSE,
NOT THAT LONG AGO.
YOU WERE NUMBER ONE IN IOWA, NOW YOU ARE
GONE.
NOW HE JOINS RICK PERRY IN THE ZOMBIE CATEGORY.
LET ME GIVE
YOU SOME GREAT FACTS FROM ABC NEWS.
IN IOWA, WALKER SLID FROM
19% TO 5% IN JUST SIX WEEKS OF NBC NEWS/MARIST POLLING.
SIX
WEEKS AGO YOU WERE NUMBER ONE.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING, SCOTT?
OH
MAN.
LEFT ALREADY, WE HAD NOT EVEN GOTTEN TO YOU YET.
OVER THE
LAST SEVERAL WEEKS WALKER HAS FALLEN DRAMATICALLY IN NATIONAL
POLLS, REGISTERING AT LESS THAN .5% IN THE LATEST NATIONAL
CNN/ORC POLL THIS WEEKEND.
IF YOU ARE LESS THAN .5% THEY HAVE
TO ROUND DOWN TO ZERO.
THAT HURTS.
THAT STINGS, I HAD TO
WALK THAT SHIT OFF.
HERE IS THE THING, I THINK A PART OF THIS AS
TO WHO IS LEAVING FIRST IS A CAPACITY FOR SHAME, WHICH
HERETOFORE I WOULD HAVE IMAGINED REPUBLICANS DID NOT HAVE.
BUT
THESE ARE THE GUYS WHO ARE SO EMBARRASSED AND THINK THEY WILL
HAVE A POLITICAL CAREER LATER IN THEIR LIVES, THEY ARE LIKE, I
HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THEY NOTICE -- LIKE MY FRIEND, I
TOLD YOU A LONG TIME AGO IN HIGH SCHOOL, HE HAD A LONG WINTER
COAT FOR SOME REASON, HANDS IN HIS POCKETS, HE FALLS DOWN AND
HE CAN'T GET UP.
HE IS ROLLING AROUND.
HE FINALLY GETS UP AND
HE'S LIKE, DID ANYBODY SEE?
THAT IS WHY SCOTT WALKER HAD TO GET
OUT OF HERE BEFORE ANYBODY SAW WHAT AN ASS HE MADE OUT OF
HIMSELF.
THAT IS PART OF IT.
BUT THE SECOND PART IS THE DONORS.
LET ME EXPLAIN.
WALKER'S SUPER PAC RAISED MORE THAN 20 MILLION
DURING THE SECOND QUARTER FUNDRAISING, THE FOURTH HIGHEST
REPUBLICAN FUNDRAISER TO THAT POINT.
OVERALL HE RAISED AT
LEAST $32 MILLION.
A-HA.
FIRST OF ALL, LET'S ENJOY THE $32
MILLION OF BILLIONAIRE REPUBLICAN DONOR MONEY WASTED.
GOING DOWN THE DRAIN, AS MY FRIEND JOHN MALKOVICH WOULD SAY
IN ROUNDERS.
RANDOM REFERENCE.
THAT $32 MILLION, YOU WILL NEVER
SEE AGAIN, DONORS.
LOVE IT.
BUT THAT LEADS US TO ONE OF OUR
CENTRAL ANSWERS HERE.
THE DONORS ARE NOW A LITTLE PANICKED ABOUT
DONALD TRUMP, OKAY?
TRUMP SAYS HE WILL RAISE PEOPLE'S TAXES.
THE WHOLE POINT OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY IS TO CUT TAXES
ON THE RICH.
THEY ARE LIKE, TRUMP IS OUT OF CONTROL.
YOU
LIBERALS DON'T LIKE IT?
WE DON'T LIKE HIM.
THIS TALK OF RAISING
TAXES, NO, NO, NO.
THEY DON'T WANT TO WASTE MONEY ON
CANDIDATES WHO ARE NOT DOING WELL AND IF YOU DROP FROM 19 TO
5 IN IOWA AND YOU DROP 20% IN THE NATIONAL POLLS, OBVIOUSLY
YOU DIDN'T SHOW VERY MUCH.
THEY DIDN'T LIKE THAT PRODUCT, SO THE
BUNDLERS UNBUNDLED IT AND SAID, OFF YOU GO.
THAT IS A DEFECTIVE
PRODUCT.
THE DONORS WERE LOOKING FOR A BETTER PRODUCT.
THAT IS
THE STORY WE COVERED ON LAST WEEK'S SHOW, IT TURNS OUT THAT
STORY WAS TRUE, THE DONORS WERE NOT HAPPY.
AND BY THE WAY, THAT
IS THEIR WORD.
THE BUNDLERS CALLED HIM A PRODUCT.
THEY WERE
HAVING ISSUES WITH THE PRODUCT.
IT JUST GOT RECALLED.
IRONIC,
GIVEN SCOTT WALKER.
NOW THEY WILL TAKE ALL THEIR MONEY AND
SHIFT IT TO A BETTER PRODUCT, AND GET RID OF A LOT OF THE PEOPLE
WHO ARE IN THE RACE, SO YOU CAN BE DOWN TO A COUPLE OF GUYS
CHALLENGING DONALD TRUMP, BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE 17 PEOPLE IN
THE RACE AND DONALD TRUMP LOCKS UP TO 25% OF THE INSANE VOTE, HE
WILL WIN.
BUT IF YOU HAVE A COUPLE PEOPLE IN THE RACE THEN
THAT 25% DOESN'T CUT IT AND SOMEONE ELSE WILL WIN.
SO THE
DONORS ARE CONSOLIDATING.
AS PART OF THAT CONSOLIDATION,
SCOTT WALKER JUST GOT FLUSHED DOWN THE DONOR TOILET.
LIVE BY
THE DONOR, DIE BY THE DONOR.
SCOTT WALKER, SHOW ME THE PICTURE
-- SORRY, I WILL HAVE TO DO THE SOUND EFFECT.
[BUZZER SOUND
EFFECT] WHAT DO THEY SAY ON SURVIVOR?
I DON'T THINK THEY SAY
YOU HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED, THAT WOULD BE WEAK SAUCE.
SCOTT, YOU
HAVE BEEN VOTED OFF OF CRAZY ISLAND.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO
SAY CONGRATULATIONS OR NOT.
OH, SCOTTY, WE WILL MISS YOU.
AND IN
A COUPLE OF WEEKS WE WILL HAVE FORGOTTEN YOU WERE IN THE RACE.
I AM BEGINNING TO ENJOY THIS REPUBLICAN RACE.
AS THE GUYS
DROP OUT, SCHADENFREUDE.
NOT TO BE UNDERESTIMATED.
LOTS OF FUN.
SCHADENFREUDE.
SCOTTY, [SPEAKING GERMAN].